Page 24

24

NERYS

I approached Rowan, who sat at the entrance of the alcove, but Marek was nowhere to be found. Wading through knee-deep water, I stretched out my arm and bent back fingers that had begun to cramp after so many hours.

After the meeting when it was decided Rowan and I would remain as far from the palace as often as possible from now until the festival, Marek had joined us, training with me for a spell. He was between voyages, and with the Festival of Tides approaching, none were imminent as all of Thalassaria halted for the twice-a-year festivities.

“Where is Marek?” I asked.

“He apparently had an ‘assignation.’ His word, not my own.”

“He is incorrigible.”

Rowan approached, holding out his hand. “Let me help.”

He took my hand, the first time we’d touched since last eve. Massaging one finger at a time, he gave no hint of the man who had elicited from me more calls for his name than I could count. Until he was finished with my fingers and moved to my palm, rubbing circles which became increasingly slow and methodic, the exhaustion I’d felt moments earlier left my body completely.

“This is so very dangerous,” I said, my mind warring between knowing that fact and not caring if it were true or not.

Rowan dropped our joined hands to the side, closing the gap between us.

“Why?”

My heart raced as he peered into my eyes for an answer I was certain he knew already.

“Because this is no assignation.”

“No,” he said, leaning into me. “It is not.”

When our lips touched, it was as though they were meant to fit together. One moment, we engaged in a simple kiss at the end of a long day of training. The next, our kiss deepened and Rowan’s hands held my head in place, as if I needed a reminder to stay put.

There was nowhere on Elydor I wanted to be more than on this beach with him. And that was the problem. Instead of admitting it, or moving away, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling Rowan closer to me.

If we could have remained that way all eve, I’d have been glad for it. But as the sun began to set, it occurred to me Rowan hadn’t eaten since Aneri had served us fresh fish before we’d left her house. I needed sustenance, as did all immortals, but Rowan needed more.

“You’ve not eaten,” I said, reluctantly pulling back.

“If you’re asking me to choose between standing here with you or a meal, I choose the former,” he said, brushing my hair to the side and kissing the skin at my collarbone. Then lower, he kissed, his tongue taunting. I moved my hands to his backside and let them roam, no longer caring about sustenance.

In truth, I did about guarding my heart, and that was still necessary. Even so, I could not, would not, stop him.

“Shall we stay here and forgo a meal at The Moonlit Current?”

At the reminder of our plans, Rowan asking earlier if we could return, he lifted his head.

“As much as I would enjoy that, perhaps we should finish this later?”

There was something about his tone that piqued my interest. A lack of casualness that was so characteristic of Rowan. With a reluctant sigh, he stepped back and took my hand, and I cursed whatever madness had possessed me to remind him about the tavern.

As before, we walked along the shoreline, Rowan asking about my training methods. Once, when a sound behind us revealed nothing more than a startled seabird, when his hand moved to the hilt of a non-existent sword, I apologized again.

“Humans will not be treated as such when I am queen.”

“I and my kind are thankful for it. When did you first know, Nerys? How powerful you’d truly become? That you might be stronger than Queen Lirael?”

“In a training session, with my father.”

“That long ago?”

“Aye, though at the time, I believed it was just a father’s wishful thinking. But even as a young one, there was talk of my skills. For some, their abilities are in direct relation to their parents, or bloodline. They say Prince Terran and Prince Kael, for instance, are nearly as powerful as their father.”

“I’ve witnessed both fight and can attest to that fact as truth.”

“You have?”

“I have.” As we approached town, the beach became less desolate, though none paid us mind as we walked by. “As you’ll recall, I mentioned on our journey to Aetheria, Prince Terran attempted to stop us, stop his brother, from escorting Mev to her father. Their battle lasted for some time, though I believe Terran may be even more powerful than his brother.”

“And Mev, as you call her? Is she powerful, like her father?”

“I believe so, though she was still learning as I left to come here.”

“It is rare for a child of a powerful immortal, especially sons and daughters of kings and queens, not to be so. But when a union does not bear children, as it most often does not? I mean to say, my parents were skilled, but none could have predicted I would be the product of their union. It took them as much by surprise as anyone. And yet, if they were alive today, I do not believe they’d be surprised at all, that I find myself in such a predicament. If that makes sense?”

“It does. Although I would not call your situation a predicament, but an opportunity. Thalassaria will benefit from your rule, Nerys.”

As a young one ran by, looked at us and giggled, I realized we still held hands. Reluctantly pulling mine from Rowan’s, we continued toward the tavern. I wanted to reach for his hand again. I wanted to fall into his arms again. I wanted to be his again.

But every step we took toward town meant more scrutiny, and with it, the knowledge that I would have little anonymity soon. As we walked inside, I imagined what it might be like, me as queen, holding Rowan’s hand. Would they accept it? A Thalassari queen and a human?

Perhaps. But even so, what would happen as Rowan aged? We would march toward his death, and my undoing, year after year a reminder of the certainty that I would someday live without him by my side. Because… there was no doubt… I enjoyed having Rowan by my side, if I could keep him there, if he would have me.

We entered the familiar tavern.

“Nerys. Sir Rowan. Welcome.”

The innkeeper greeted us the moment we walked inside.

“Good eve, Nerithia,” I said.

“With luck, I’ll have no need of your sea serpent services, this eve.” She escorted us to the same table as before. “And of course, your meal tonight is on me.”

“I’ve done nothing to deserve it, but will not turn away a meal,” Rowan said good-naturedly to the innkeeper.

Nerithia held Rowan’s gaze for a moment longer, as if she wanted to say something more. Instead, she assured us a servant would be along to bring our drinks. It was Nerithia, though, herself who brought our food: two trenchers of fresh fish and vegetables. She seemed to take extra care in handing Rowan’s to him before moving away.

“I could become accustomed to the food here. Actually, I could become accustomed to most things in Thalassaria.”

“Even me?”

It was out of my mouth before I thought better of it. What had possessed me to say such a thing? Laughing, as if I’d made a joke, I instead asked Rowan what he thought of Aneri. Rather than answering, he simply looked at me.

“Nerys?”

He said my name so deeply, it was as if Rowan spoke directly to my soul. I looked up from my nearly empty trencher of food.

“Especially you.”

At that very moment, the moon moved into place, streaming its light through the windows in a way that gave the tavern its namesake. Though we couldn’t hear the sound of the ocean’s waves from inside, I could feel the tide as it shifted, a gentle pull against the edges of my consciousness, as if it whispered secrets only the water could know.

Do not, Nerys. There is no hope for it.

“Open yourself to me.”

This time, unlike the last, he didn’t ask if I was certain. Instead, Rowan stopped eating. Stopped drinking. Seemed to stop breathing as he stared at me. His nostrils flared, Rowan’s lips parting, as if he would speak.

But he said nothing.

I waited.

“I wish you had my ability to sense emotion,” Rowan said finally. “And could feel mine too.”

The gentle hum of voices, of glasses clanging together, of merriment and camaraderie, surrounded us. It was the sound of Thalassaria, of joy. It wrapped me like a warm current, or perhaps it was Rowan doing that to me.

“You could tell me,” I ventured.

“I do not need to say it aloud, Nerys. Doing so will only…”

He either could not, or would not, continue.

Will only cause us both more pain later. Rowan didn’t need to say the words for me to know the truth of them.

“Could it…” I started, but then stopped.

Nay, Nerys. You’ve said enough.

“Could it what, Nerys? Ask me your question.”

“Could it… could we…” The words refused to form.

“Could we be possible?” he asked for me.

I didn’t confirm that was my question, but neither did I deny it. Rowan looked as if he would be ill. Nay, not ill. Sad. Immeasurably so.

Of course we could not be possible, for so many reasons. I should not have asked.

“As much as I would wish it, no. I do not believe we could.”