Page 49 of Threads That Bind Us

Exposure therapy, right?

When I peek inside, I can see the bathroom door is cracked. Steam and light trickle into the dark bedroom, and Charlie is silent, so I cross my fingers that I didn’t disturb him and make my way into our closet.

I shuck off my blouse and pants, wondering why I dressed like an office manager to drop Ana off at school, and grab loungewear from the built-in drawers without turning on the lights. I nearly trip and crash into the wall pulling on my running shorts, but steady myself at the last second, straining to hear if Charlie noticed me.

I can hear something that sounds like his voice, but the shower is still running. Quickly pulling socks on to muffle the sound of my feet, I lean out of the open closet door.

Was that…a grunt? Is he hurt? Or maybe it was a cough? I move out of the closet and start reaching for the bathroom door before yanking my hand back. What am I going to do? Walk in there while he’s soaked and naked and check to see if he has a cold? What the ever loving fuck has come over me?

I turn, intent on burrowing into the couch and pretending I’ve been there the whole time, when I’m frozen by the sound of a long, low groan.

Holy fuck. This cannot be what I think it is.

No, absolutely not. I will not think about this. I will not react to this. He thinks he’s home alone, and this is a massive violation of privacy.

But I can’t move. His breaths are coming louder and faster over the shower spray, and my imagination runs away with itself. Despite the fact that I’m wracked with guilt and embarrassment, I can’t help but think of slick skin and panting breaths, to wonder if this is what he’d sound like with his hands on me, with his body under mine.

My pulse is racing so hard I feel lightheaded. All the one-sided tension from the past two months is finally breaking, and the need that fills me is indescribable. The memory of every little touch, every platonic moment of contact, is overwhelming as I stand in the middle of the room, listening to him fuck his hand in our shower.

I can feel the flush crawling up my chest, my neck, my cheeks, my whole body feeling like magma. His breath catches, and he’s silent for a moment, and I hold my breath.

“Fuck, Gwen, please.”

For one millionth of a second, my body freezes, terrified that he caught me standing here listening to him. Until reality hits me like a train.

Myname. He said my name. Groaned my name while he came. He’s coming in our shower and he said my name. Gwen.

The words reorganize themselves in new orders a thousand times over as I listen to him pant. They don’t seem real.Thiscan’t be real. It’s got to be a figment of my imagination, the madness of unresolved horniness manifesting in a delusion-filled break. My hands twitch, desperate to touch myself, to feel how wet I am, to come while he says my name over and over.

The sound of the water turning off shocks me back to reality. I rush out of the room, trying to shut the door behind me asquietly as possible. Grabbing my purse, I’m texting Zane before I even have my shoes on. I need to go to the least sexy place I can think of.

Me

Can you take me to the Botanical Gardens?

Chapter 17

Gwen

“Open mine next!” Kenzie sings, snatching her gift off the coffee table and tossing it into Ana’s lap.

She giggles and carefully peels open the wrapping, preserving the paper as best as she can. Inside a glittery gold box are little tester sizes of a million different skincare products, from cleansers to moisturizers to sunscreens.

“Look, I love that you do the cool special effects makeup, and you’re incredible at it. But if you’re gonna put that shit on your face, you have to take care of your skin afterwards.” Kenzie leans over and picks a few things out, handing them to Ana. “We’ll try different things out and see what works for your skin, and then whatever you like the best, we’ll go get full sizes together, okay?”

Ana sets the box back on the coffee table and throws her arms around Kenzie.

“Thanks, Kenz, you’re the best,” she says, and Kenzie squeezes her tight.

“Anything for my favorite kid.”

I lean against the dining table, letting the comfort and joy of this day settle into me. Gray’s sitting next to Ana, peeking overher shoulder while Kenzie explains the utility of oil-based cleansers. Linda and Paul are across from them, entertaining Maddie and watching the kids laugh with soft affection. Ana’shappy. Really, truly happy.

“You feeling okay?”

Charlie bumps his shoulder into mine as he settles next to me, arms crossed. He nods at the hand I have cradled against my chest and I flex my fingers automatically, feeling the pull of the bandage on my skin. The cut isn’t deep, but it hurts like a bitch.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” I say, trying to brush it off.