Page 35 of Threads That Bind Us

Gwen’s going to fucking kill me.

“I don’t mind, but you’re also welcome here whenever you’d like,” I say cooly, gesturing toward the hall. “I think I have old test prep books in my office, but they may be from the LSAT. We’ll pick up some new ones. But my home is your home.”

I can feel Gwen’s demeanor change without even looking at her.

“That’s very kind of you, but obviously Ana needs to be close to school,” Gwen says tightly, her glare cutting.

Ana’s eyes flash between us, worried again.

“Of course, it’s only an offer. You know I only want to spend as much time with you as possible,” I say, putting on an affectionate expression that isn’t difficult to find.

“Do we not spend more time here because of me? School and appointments and stuff?” Ana asks, her brow furrowed. She looks a little wounded, and I wonder how much she worries that her needs affect her sister.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Gwen huffs, plastering on a patient smile for Ana while still trying to shoot daggers at me. “Charlie’s house is far away from my work, too.”

“Yeah, but you don’t work there anymore,” Ana points out, and Gwen grits her teeth a bit.

I didn’t ask how she explained her sudden abundance of free time to Ana, but it’s clearly a sore spot for Gwen.

“We have a life in the city, Ana,” she says, her tone suddenly much more maternal than sisterly. But Ana’s not following suit.

“Ihave a life in the city. But you don’t. You have Kenzie, but I know she’s not the reason we don’t spend time here. It’s me.” There’s a defiance I’ve never heard from Ana. A little bit of her sister’s temper shows itself in the flush of her ears.

“Hey, attitude,” Gwen chides, putting down her fork and crossing her arms over her chest. “If I decide to not spend time up here so I can get you to school on time like a grown up, that’s my decision. That doesn’t mean it’s yourfault,” Gwen says with determination.

“Yeah, but first you hide me from Charlie because you don’t want tochange my lifeor whatever.” Gwen starts to interrupt,but Ana talks over her, almost yelling. “And then you avoid seeing someone you like because it’s far from my stupid cancer appointments? Tell me how that’s not my fault.”

I’m frozen in my seat, not knowing how to react. I wanted some sort of conversation like this, sure, but the pain in both of their eyes makes my chest ache. Because this moment is my fault.

For the first time in my life, I regret my training. I wish I knew any other way to get to the solution I needed. I suddenly understand Clara and her incessant need to strategize.

“Something beingbecause of youdoesn’t mean it’s your fault,” Gwen responds, her harsh tone laced with empathy. “That’s just life, Ana. Charlie and I have it figured out, don’t worry.”

Both sets of eyes turn to look at me, Gwen’s a warning and Ana’s a demand.

“Did you want her…or us…to spend more time here?” Ana asks, swallowing the nervous tilt to her voice. “Did she say no because of me?”

I meet Gwen’s eyes. This is it. I have the opportunity to be on Gwen’s team. To tell Ana no, that I’m also busy with work, that Gwen never limited our relationship because of her. Gwen’s eyes beg me to make that choice. Some quiet part of my heart does, too.

But it’s no use. I’ve found my opening, and I free fall into it.

“I…” I stutter, and I wish it was manufactured for effect. “I offered to have you move in here.”

Gwen’s expression turns to ice, betrayal the only emotion I can sense. Ana’s jaw drops a fraction in shock before she turns back to her sister.

They go back and forth, angry and hurt. Ana demanding to know why Gwen refuses to live her life, using her as an excuse. Gwen repeating that it’s her decision, that her sister isn’t aburden, that she doesn’t regret her decisions. By the time dinner has gone cold, they’re both huffing, arms crossed, refusing to look at each other.

“I want to go to bed,” Ana announces, pushing away from the table. Gwen and I both stand, but she cuts me a look that locks me in place.

“I’ll show you the spare rooms, okay?” Gwen says quietly, walking down the hallway, Ana following a few steps behind.

“Ana,” I say before she can leave. Both sisters turn toward me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start all of this. Your sister loves you so much. All she wants is for you to have everything you want.”

Fury is rolling off of Gwen, and I can’t blame her. All I’ve done in this moment is position myself as the good guy.

“It’s okay. I just want the same thing for her, too.”

Ana walks past Gwen down the hall, disappearing from my sightline, but Gwen’s rooted to the spot. She stares after her sister, and I wish I could live inside her mind again.