Page 28 of Those That Are Lost (Hidden Vampires #2)

TY

I hear the door as I finish showering. Turning off the water, I step out and grab a towel to wipe the excess water off my chest and wrap it around my hips.

There’s silence coming from the bedroom.

Taking a deep breath, and rubbing my jaw, I step out of the ensuite. Her eyes snap to mine from where she’s perched on the bed. Her face is vacant, her eyes duller than I’ve ever seen.

“Red, are you okay?” I can’t help myself. Any resolve I have when I’m alone is non-existent as soon as I’m in her presence again.

“Yeah,” she replies. “I’m fine.” She sounds exhausted, her voice utterly flat. I watch as she begins removing her clothes. She strips down until she’s in her underwear, meticulously folding her workout gear as she goes. Something’s not right.

Without another word, she moves around me and into the bathroom. She’s moving like a ghost. I’d put it down to the panic attack but when I left, she was more animated than this. Her and Henry were chatting. She’d sounded hoarse from all the screaming but wasn’t like this .

I don’t even ask her permission, just follow her into the adjoining room.

“What happened?” I need to know.

I’m not even sure she hears me as I watch her at the sink.

She swipes the condensation off the mirror on the wall, then stands lifelessly staring at her reflection, fingers gripping the porcelain.

For a moment I think she’s going to use her magic, put a shield in place.

I see a ripple of her power but it recedes without changing any of her features.

“Red, please. Talk to me.” I push.

“I said I’m fine,” she snaps, false lightness in her tone. “I’m just tired and sweaty.”

“You are not fine.” I keep my voice soft although I am anything but.

She ignores me again and removes her underwear before moving into the walk-in shower.

I stand there at a loss. I feel like I should leave but she hasn’t asked me to go.

Turning the water on, she stands facing the shower head, letting the spray hit her body.

She’s not two metres from me but she feels miles away, reminding me of the day I found her on the cliff.

I take in her body, my eyes sweeping up her long legs to the curve of her ass. Her flawless skin covering muscle and flesh I crave to touch. I want to wrap her up and keep her safe. Take her away from whatever is plaguing her right now.

The shadows build behind me, for once they’re not trying to draw me into them but rather I feel their caress as more of a push.

I brace myself against them, holding strong but by a thread.

Red wipes the water from her face as she steps back slightly. Turning her head just enough to catch me in her peripheral vision. Even with just the corner of her eye, I see the pain. It's a stab straight to my chest and that thread snaps.

I whip the towel off and am back in the shower in a blink. Pulling her against me, I wrap my arms around her torso as I breathe in her scent.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper into her hair, bowing my head into the soft tendrils. I shouldn’t be the one doing this, I’m the one who caused her pain today. How she’s trusting me to be this close I don’t know.

She leans her head back onto my pecs, she’s so much smaller than I am and at this moment she feels tiny against me. Precious. Breakable.

Seeing her this vulnerable makes something in my chest snarl. I love this female with my entire being. I don’t deserve her but that doesn’t stop my feelings towards her. I’ll do anything to take her pain away. Anything.

“Do you want me to wash you?” I ask her, needing to do something. She gives the smallest of nods.

Keeping our skin connected in one way or another, whether my hands are on her, or she’s leaning into me, I manage to get the soap and lather it up to wash her body.

I take my time and go slowly, giving her the opportunity to stop my hands at any time.

She doesn’t, even as I wash her breasts, her pubic mound, her ass.

Her hair is pretty wet by the time I’ve washed her body, so I gently undo the braid and wash that too, gently tipping her head back to rinse the shampoo.

After conditioning the fiery curls, which turn deep red in the water, I find us some new towels.

Red moves wordlessly in sync with me. I manage to get us dry and into bed without us uttering a single sentence. We don’t need it.

She never tries to move away. In fact, her heart rate spikes anytime I move too far away. Whilst she’s worrying me to all hell with being so checked out, I notice how she softens, relaxes, whenever I’m close.

Cocooned under the heavy duvet and a couple of blankets, she curls up on her side in the foetal position whilstI wrap myself around her.

It's only once we are in the dark and the shadows are sprawling out on top of us that she speaks.

“I hate that he still has that hold over me.” Her voice is weak. Without questioning I know who she’s referring to.

“He tried to do something horrific, of course it’s hard to get over that.” Images of him touching her, the feeling of the chains at my wrists, flash through my head. I pull her tighter against me.

“But I should be able to control my reactions.”

“I should’ve thought, shouldn’t have grabbed your wrists like that. I’m so sorry, Red.” I lay a kiss on her shoulder blade.

“No,” she fires back, voice firm. “I need to not react. At least not react in the way I did. Imagine if that was one of his males that found me, imagine if that fight was real and not pretend.” I don’t let myself picture what she’s suggesting.

I’ll break something, multiple somethings, if I do.

The shadows around us swirl.

“Is that why you’ve been so closed off since you got back here?” I implore. “I’m not judging you, I simply wish to understand because you seemed okay when I left the clearing.”

“Why did you leave?” She rolls onto her back to look at me, entangling her legs with mine.

“Because I’m always going to remind you of being stuck in that dungeon,” I force out, closing my eyes so I don’t have to see her reaction. As soon as she realises it's the truth, she’ll withdraw from me, I know it.

“Ty,” she says my name on an exhale, her hand coming to cup my cheek.

“In the weeks you’ve been back in my life this is the first time you’ve made me panic.

” I wince, this is it. “And that wasn’t your fault.

” She continues to stroke my stubbled cheek and jawline.

“Did you know that my attacks have been so much less since you found me? Today was possibly the worst one, I won’t lie to you.

But I had attacks almost that strong nearly daily when I was on my own. ”

That reopens my eyes. She hadn’t told me this. Even in the dark room I can see her eyes bright and shining, looking at me like… like she might feel something for me that I’ve not seen in her eyes since that alleyway.

“You suffered like that when you were alone?” My guilt is a physical weight inside my body.

“Yes. And why I was able to seem so normal afterwards. I’ve had plenty of practice pulling a mask into place. When really, the attacks leave me so drained I can barely function.”

Good Gods, this female. She has a strength I can only fathom.

I’m starting to see how adept she is at shutting people out.

Her mind can build a fortress as easily as flicking a light switch.

Whilst her magical ability can create a physical shield to hide her true form, she can build a personality to hide her true feelings.

“And when you got back here?” I ask slowly, hope flickering to life.

“I don’t have to pretend with you.” Seven words. Seven words that have a huge impact and squash my earlier doubt.

“I never want you to hide from me, Red.” I reach up to stroke her still damp hair, catching a few strands between my fingers.

I was the first she dropped her glamour around after the accident that turned her, the first she felt comfortable enough around to be her true self, and not the dulled version she tried to be so she didn’t catch the attention of everyone around her.

“I’m sorry if I worried you. I get so drained that it's easier to not feel for a while. To detach myself from… well, me, I guess,” she confesses like this is some great sin.

I understand it. When my pack was wiped out in the war, I wanted the ex act same thing.

Only I used alcohol and drugs. She goes so deeply introverted she’s a walking void.

“It’s okay. If it helps you cope then maybe it's a good thing. Just… let me know if there is anything I can do better. Should I have left you alone?”

“No,” she says so quickly I’ve barely finished my sentence.

“You helped, actually. Normally when that happens I don’t feel better for at least a day.

You’ve brought me back so much quicker, usually I’m pulling myself back together because I have to go to work or interact with others.

This, tonight, feels different. I feel like myself in a much shorter time, especially after an attack that bad. ”

“I don’t like that you feel this way.”

“Talking is helping,” she says as a yawn breaks free of her body.

“Maybe sleep would help too?”

“Yeah, it usually does.”

“Then, let’s sleep, Red. We can talk more about this tomorrow.”

To my surprise she wiggles closer, burying her face in my still naked chest. I hadn’t bothered with clothing for either of us after the shower.

I gently place a lingering kiss to the top of her head and wrap my arms around her, gently stroking her back. Her breathing evens out and she relaxes against me, warm and soft.

“You’re my everything, Red. I need you to know that,” I whisper into the darkness.

As I feel the pull of sleep dragging me under a while later, I swear I hear her respond, “You’re my everything too, I’m just not ready yet.”