Page 26 of Those That Are Lost (Hidden Vampires #2)

TY

F uck me.

I wasn’t expecting Red to immediately resort to turning me the hell on as I demanded that she was the one to fight me next.

As soon as I’d looked at her after pinning Henry to the ground, I could tell she wanted a chance to spar with me again.

Her face was flushed and her eyes were glued on me.

Even as I stepped away from Henry, after making sure he wasn’t injured, she tracked me with her gaze which honestly filled me with relief after the way those two had arrived together earlier, arms slung around each other's bodies.

I’m glad I got to knock six bells out of him for touching her, even if it was just a training bout.

The win had left me on a high and loosened my lips apparently.

Maybe some of the possessiveness was also coming from the fact that Red and I had fucked again last night and it had left me raw, my control completely frayed.

I’d thrown the innuendo implied comment at her out of pure adrenaline. And now her retaliating remark has me trying to concentrate with my dick at half-mast .

We begin with a few slower moves, some less intense back and forth as Red warms her muscles back up.

I don’t let her have the advantage at any point, which only grows her frustration.

I can’t help riling her up when it makes her more animated.

She’s learnt to wear a mask too well and I can’t tell what she’s thinking or feeling half the time.

But now, I can see the anger rising on her features, her strikes are getting harder, more accurate and she’s glowering at me as she focuses her breathing through each move, syncing it to each swing of her body.

This lethal side of her nature is unguarded. It’s not sloppy or uncoordinated but she allows her emotions to fuel her actions instead of locking them down. She allows them to hone her movements and it's breathtaking.

“Come on, Red, surely you remember more than this?” I can’t help myself as I block yet another of her advances. I push then, forcing her to take a step back and hope she takes the bait.

She does.

We fly into some of the more complex routines I taught her. Getting her to use my momentum against me seeing as she’ll never have the weight or height advantage.

I don’t let her see that I have to actually work to make sure I don’t fall on my ass for her next few strikes.

Laughter breaks from her lips as she lands from rolling over my back and the world appears lighter. Everything narrows onto this female. She’s all I see, all I hear as we go again and again and again.

But my competitive streak resurfaces as I spot an opportunity to take her to the grass. I go for her ribs as she leaves her right side open. As expected, she comes back with a fist to my face. I’m coiled enough that I can bend backwards to avoid the shot whilst simultaneously grabbing her forearm .

I twist until her chest is at my back and I flip her.

Taken by surprise, she doesn’t land this one and comes crashing to the ground.

Before I can pin her, however, she rolls to her stomach so I end up straddling her back.

She bucks wildly but I hold my balance, capturing both her wrists and heaving them above her head.

“One…” I start the count, ready to claim my victory. I feel Red tense beneath me. “Two…” I’m about to say three and gloat about my win when she screams.

“Stop! Don’t, please, please, don’t,” she sobs, pulling at her arms. I instantly release her but she continues to plead and scream out like she does in her nightmares.

I immediately ease off her but she starts thrashing like something possessed. Her breathing becomes so erratic, the inhales are short and sharp, her words becoming lost and incomprehensible.

My body goes cold as I desperately try to turn her over so I can soothe her. She continues bucking and thrashing and as I grab her wrists once more, I’m taken back to my worst nightmares.

Flashes of a basement fill my vision as I see Adicious on her. Feeling the chains around my wrists, I’m back in that sand-coloured dungeon watching my worst nightmares come to life.

Ice cold loathing washes through me as it registers that I was the trigger for her current panic attack. The way I’d pinned her…

It was the way he had her pinned up against that wall. Before he tried to rape her.

I nearly hurl as I realise I’ve sent her back there. I’ve brought out her fears so brutally she’s completely lost to the memory.

Trying really hard not to hurt her, I do my best to get her to look at me, but I can’t move her. She’s curled in on herself on her side on the ground but lashing out with her arms every time I try to touch her. I take a blow to my stomach and face but I don’t even feel them.

My heart races as I hear hers thrum in her chest, the scent of adrenaline in her blood increasing each second.

“Red, I’m so sorry. It’s okay. You’re okay.” I attempt to calm her, at a loss of what else to do. She doesn’t hear me.

“Don’t do it… Hurt… I don’t want…” she continues to scream.

Henry appears at my side, and Ash joins us seconds later.

“What happened?” the wolf asks, crouching on Red’s opposite side.

“I don’t know. He had her pinned but it shouldn’t have hurt her.” I hear Henry fill Ash in on our fight whilst I duck down again to try and get Red to look at me.

“She’s having a panic attack,” I growl before ignoring the two males as they continue to talk. I lay down and pull Red into my arms, tucking her into my chest. Her attempts to push me away are much more feeble now.

I pull my shadows from the surrounding trees and shroud us in darkness. They press around us like a weighted blanket.

All the while I’m speaking to Red, trying to reach her with my voice. My heart is straining in my chest at seeing her like this. At the same time, I’m numb knowing I caused it.

She continues to struggle for a few more minutes before her body gives out and she relaxes against me. Her breathing is still erratic but I can feel her heart rate dropping slowly.

“Ty?” she whispers against my chest as she finally comes round from the attack.

“I’m so sorry, Red. I didn’t mean to…” My apology dies on tongue, I can’t say the words out loud. I didn’t mean to remind you of the memory where you almost were raped and forced into the most sacred of bonds .

I’m such a fucking idiot.

No wonder she doesn’t want that kind of bond. Let alone to me. She was almost forced into it, and of course that left deep scars.

New hatred breeds in my veins, hatred for myself as I remember how I’d almost bitten her the night I’d found her. She had every right to be angry at me. To hate me. Looking back on it, how has she even tolerated my presence since, let alone shared a bed with me.

I really don’t deserve her, do I?

Releasing my hold on the shadows, I ease us up now she’s lucid once more.

Her face is streaked with tears and mud from the cold ground. Her braided hair looks wild as strands have been pulled free in her thrashing.

She pulls out of my hold to sit cross legged as the world comes back to her. Part of me commands that I pull her into my lap, but I recognise the selfishness for what it is.

I want her. I need her. But she doesn’t need me. I’ve done nothing but traumatise her and refuse to leave her alone. She’s said she’s glad I’m alive, but if I can trigger her like this, I shouldn’t be around her.

Henry comes closer again as I force the shadows to recede further.

“Hey,” he addresses Red as he sits down beside her. “How are you feeling?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause such a fuss.” She wipes her cheeks with her palm, her voice weak from the screaming.

“No. You don’t need to apologise.”

“Gods, I’m so embarrassed,” Red admits.

“Again, you don’t need to be embarrassed, Rory.

That wasn’t something you could control.

” His gaze forces her to look at him, and I know she registers the sincerity in his expression.

I watch as she nods at his words, taking them on board, no doubt using them to squash the voices in her head telling her otherwise.

I zone out as they continue to talk. I can sense Henry is easing her discomfort. He’ll do a good job of looking after her.

I always thought he would, it’s why I told her to seek him out.

I ease myself away from them slowly, and they don’t seem to notice as I withdraw. Standing, I catch Ash’s eye and take a few steps towards him.

“Is she okay now?” he whispers quietly so only I can hear him.

I look over to where the other wolves have all moved to the other end of the cleared pitch.

They’re standing around chatting whilst a few of them playfight in their wolf forms in the snow beyond.

I’m grateful they provided Red with some privacy.

“I think so,” I tell him.

Sparing another glance down, I see Henry now has his arm around Red again as they talk. She’s fiddling with her hands in her lap but her head leans on his shoulder.

The earlier jealousy I felt returns but it's coated in a level of understanding now. He can give her what I can’t. He won’t remind her of the most traumatic days of her life.

“I’m going to head off,” I tell Ash.

“Don’t you want to walk back with them?” he replies, giving me a confused look.

“Nah, Henry will look after her. I need a few minutes alone.”

His eyebrow hooks up like I’m being an idiot right now but I don’t care. I’m seeing this more clearly than I ever have.

I had my shot with her. I blew it on multiple occasions. And if I’m the one who can trigger such a visceral attack, I shouldn’t be near her .

Blowing out a long breath I shake my head and turn my back on him.

As I get to the treeline, my chest feels like it's going to cave in, each breath feels harder than the last. I force myself to keep going. I even force the shadows to leave me as they glide to my feet, dancing through my legs as I walk.

I want to be alone, entirely alone.