Page 3 of This Vicious Dream (Kingdom of Death #1)

Calysian

This woman.

Long, wine-red hair curls around her delicate face. Her features seem to have been arranged by the gods themselves—high cheekbones, a sharp chin, flawless skin, and those eyes…

As bright as sapphires, and currently burning with rage.

I know her.

Madinia Farrow.

The last time I saw her, she was boarding a ship, and I had the strangest urge to sprint after her.

I’d given into that urge, desperate for something .

And I’d been too late.

Fury surges through me, until I’m shuddering with it, hands fisted. Did she do this to me? Is she the reason I am…deficient?

No. That can’t be right. She doesn’t feel ageless.

I stare at her some more, forcing myself to focus on logic.

Not a glimmer of recognition lights her eyes, even though we met several times on another continent, just a few years ago when she was readying for war.

So how did she end up here ?

I take a step forward and she narrows those startlingly blue eyes.

“Don’t come any closer.”

“Well now, beautiful woman, what kind of welcome is that? And after I saved you from the attentions of that soldier too.”

Her head barely reaches my chest, yet she somehow still manages to stare down her nose at me. If I were a lesser male, that look would make me feel about three inches tall.

“What do you want?” Her voice is flat, and she’s already turning away, toward the soldiers’ horses. Her gaze moves past the strange tangle of bones and decomposing bodies as if she doesn’t even see them.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

She pauses, brow crinkling. Her brows are slightly darker than the wealth of dark red hair tumbling over her shoulders.

“Kyldare kept me here. For years . I was about to make him pay, and then you showed up.”

My gut clenches. I should have killed him.

It’s not that I’m particularly altruistic. But caging a woman like Madinia Farrow isn’t just wrong—it’s unnatural.

“Why?”

I take another step closer, and her whole body tenses. Something dark stares back at me from behind her eyes. Something dark and familiar.

But those eyes are immediately turning glassy.

Confusion. Confusion and fear.

“He wanted something,” she murmurs aloud, her expression distant as she retreats into her mind. For a long moment, it’s as if she’s not even there.

“What did he want?” I press.

She’s silent for a long moment. And I watch as she rebuilds her shields. Her shoulders straighten, and she gives me that look again.

My mouth twitches. Even at her weakest, this woman holds her ground, masking her vulnerability with defiance, head held high, eyes flashing.

“I don’t know. It’s irrelevant. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She gives me a regal nod, as if we’re standing in a grand ballroom and she’s politely declining a dance.

“And where are you planning to go?” I ask.

She turns, walking along the path, and I follow her. She stiffens, and a thorn-covered vine slithers toward me. I pause, staring at the thorns, the tower.

Perhaps what I need is inside the tower.

But…

Madinia Farrow. I remember her name, even if she doesn’t remember mine. And my instincts roar at me, telling me she can lead me to what I seek. She can lead me to—

I stumble as a memory slams into me. My hands clench around an object, and it’s so realistic I can feel the spine, the pages…

A book. I’m looking for a book.

Elation sweeps through me. Finally. An answer. For the first time, I know what I’m looking for. What I need.

And this woman is going to help me find it.

Madinia

“Where, exactly, are you going?” The man calls from behind me.

I’m going to the nearest town, that’s where I’m going.

Kyldare’s witch may have created a spell that ensured basic hygiene—for Kyldare’s benefit I’m sure—but the fact remains that I haven’t bathed in three years . My stomach is rumbling with newly awakened hunger. And…

I need to be alone. I may not remember much of my past, but I remember making the decision to forget, so Kyldare couldn’t get the information he wanted from me.

Unfortunately, it’s not just the location of whatever Kyldare is looking for that I’ve forgotten. It’s everything before Daharak—

Daharak. “Don’t let them break you. I’ll find you. Somehow, I’ll find you.”

My head begins to throb viciously. Remembering hurts.

But if I can get to Daharak, she’ll tell me what I need to know.

The man’s stallion snorts at me, and I give it a wide berth as I unsaddle all of the soldier’s horses but one, setting them free.

I’d like to sell them, but a woman traveling alone with so many horses in excellent condition would draw far too much attention.

Mounting the horse, I nudge the mare into motion, ignoring the man’s eyes on me.

“You’re going the wrong way.”

The rumble of his deep voice itches at my mind with a sense of familiarity, but when I search the wasteland of my memory, his face is nowhere to be found.

“You don’t know where I’m going,” I say between my teeth.

“You’re heading deeper within the forest. Without any supplies.”

He lifts his huge body into his saddle, stroking one hand along his stallion’s neck. The horse turns his head and snaps his teeth at him, and the man laughs.

“I’m going to the nearest town,” he returns his attention to me. “Travel with me, and I’ll keep you safe.”

“And why would you do that? Why are you even here?”

He shrugs one shoulder, his horse shifting toward mine, and the moonlight caresses his face.

“Consider it a good deed.”

I can feel my mind unraveling at the edges, and I need to leave this place before Kyldare returns with more soldiers.

“If you attempt to harm me, I’ll burn you alive.” I may not be able to reach for the dark power, but my flames come naturally to me. As does the urge to burn.

He bares his teeth in a wicked smile. “Agreed.”

“What is your name?”

“Calysian.”

“My name is Madinia.”

He gives me a grave nod. I keep a careful eye on him as we move toward the only road from the tower. When he doesn’t speak again, I focus on the steady beat of our horse’s hooves along packed dirt, forcing myself to keep my hands soft on the mare’s mouth, even as I grip the reins tight, my knuckles turning white.

Calysian rides a few feet ahead, his back straight, his hands loose on his own reins. His horse is entirely too big, just like the man himself. I don’t know him, I’m not stupid enough to trust him, but for now I’ll allow him to lead me closer to safety.

I grind my teeth until my jaw protests.

Minutes turn to hours, and I stay vigilant, continually sweeping my gaze over our surroundings in case Kyldare returns. Part of me is convinced he will be waiting for me in the nearest town, but it’s much more likely that he fled south, deeper into the forest where his queen keeps a regiment stationed.

At his heart, he is a coward. And he’ll need to regroup.

I shift in the saddle, the aches in my muscles a dull reminder of how long I spent without moving. The witch’s spell may have allowed me the ability to wake and walk, but each step the horse takes sends a faint throb through my legs and spine.

I just have to focus on the town. On freedom. But my mind won’t settle. It keeps circling back, over and over, attempting to remember…

Occasionally, I see flashes, bits of memory that float up to the surface for a moment before they’re snatched away. A face, a voice, laughter. But the more I attempt to focus on them, the faster they disappear.

Panic beats at me. What if…what if my memories never return? What if my mind is forever damaged?

I reach for that dark power, seeking nothing more than the reassurance that it’s there , but its presence is so faint, my heart trips in my chest.

I shift in the saddle again, whispering an apology to the mare.

“Almost there,” Calysian says, proving he’s been paying closer attention to me than I would have liked.

The town is little more than a cluster of dark shadows as we approach. But the welcoming scent of woodsmoke drifts toward us. The buildings are small, thatched roofs sagging in places. A few lanterns hang from hooks by doors on the main street, casting a yellow glow.

The dirt road beneath us is uneven, dotted with occasional puddles of mud. A sharp, rhythmic metal clang reaches my ears—likely a blacksmith working late into the night.

Calysian scans the town, his gaze lingering on the few people spilling out of taverns and stumbling down the street.

“There,” he says, nodding toward the end of the street.

The inn is larger than the surrounding buildings. Light spills from cracks in the shutters in the upper floors, and the sound of voices carries through the night. A woman sings with a surprisingly pleasing voice, and a few people join in, while a group of men laugh raucously.

My stomach tightens as the scent of something savory wafts toward us. We pull our horses to a stop outside the inn, and a couple of stablehands appear. One of them murmurs to Calysian, and he hands him a couple of coins, dismounting and rounding his horse. He grabs the reins, holding his horse’s head still as he levels him with a look.

“Be good.”

The horse stomps one foot, and Calysian sighs, handing the reins to one of the stablehands. “Be careful. He bites, kicks, and generally becomes a nuisance. Keep at least a stall between him and the other horses on each side.”

The stablehand nods, but the color drains from his face as he tentatively leads the stallion away.

I dismount, ensuring I have my sword, along with the chains still wrapped in the soldier’s jacket. My own sweet mare nuzzles my hand as I stroke her head. When she’s led away, I feel suddenly…lonely.

Calysian jerks his head at the entrance to the inn. “You’ll feel better after you get some rest.”

A couple of drunks stumble out, almost slamming into us, and Calysian drops his arm over my shoulders, steering me away from them. His scent envelops me—amber and leather and male . As soon as we’re through the entrance I wiggle away, and he shoots me an amused look.

“Two rooms,” he instructs the innkeeper, who nods, stepping away to murmur to one of the barmaids.

Someone lets out a cackle and I flinch. Glass shatters, and I spin, but it’s merely a barmaid blushing over a dropped tray.

Each sudden laugh, each shout and cheer, the singer crooning about lost love…it makes my head ring. The noise is a relentless wave, crashing over me again and again, until I want to clamp my hands over my ears. I bury my hands into my own shirt in an attempt to anchor myself, but the air is too thick, the scent of food, smoke, sweat…

I can’t breathe.

My heart slams into my ribs.

I stumble toward the door.

A huge hand wraps around the back of my neck, holding me in place.

Dark eyes meet mine, glimmering with what might be concern. Calysian curses. “I should have known.”

His face melds into another, and then another. The walls are closing in, the warmth from the fire making me break out in a sweat.

Before I can protest, his heavy arm is wrapped around my shoulders once more and he’s hauling me away. Distantly, I’m aware of a brief conversation between Calysian and the innkeeper, and then he’s practically carrying me upstairs.

I blink, and I’m suddenly standing in a room, alone with him. A room that is almost entirely silent. How many floors did we climb?

“I’ve ordered food to be brought to us,” he says gruffly. “My room is next door. The innkeeper said she’ll also arrange a bath. If you need anything, let me know.”

He disappears, leaving me staring at the closed door.

I don’t know why he’s helping me. I still refuse to trust him. But…I suppose I owe him now. The thought sets my teeth on edge, and the fury pushes away the remnants of useless fear as the innkeeper brings up stew and ale, before pointing at the knobs above the tub, murmuring instructions.

The stew is warm and filling, the bath hot and soothing. I relish both, savoring the simple pleasures I once took for granted.

I pull my leggings and shirt on, unwilling to sleep naked.

Someone pounds on the door and I freeze.

“Open,” Calysian orders.

I crack the door open and he nods at me. “Switch rooms.” His voice is low, and I frown.

“Why?”

“Because you draw attention.” His eyes linger on my face. “Several people were listening to the innkeeper’s chatter, which means they know you’re alone in this room. If I were Kyldare, I’d send soldiers after you tonight, before you can get too far. Switch rooms and if anyone tries to break in, they’ll get a nasty surprise.” He flashes his teeth.

His reasoning is sound. In fact…he seems determined to protect me. Wariness wars with gratitude. Wariness wins.

“Why do you care?”

He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t rescue you only to watch you be dragged away kicking and screaming.”

I let out a hiss. “Once again, you did not rescue me.”

He gives me a patronizing look that makes me want to hit him. “Move,” he says. “I’m tired.”

Leaning down, I scoop up the soldier’s jacket. The chains clank, and Calysian raises one eyebrow. I ignore him.

His room is a twin to mine, and within a few minutes, I’m curled in the bed. He must have briefly laid down, because the pillow holds his scent. It’s strangely comforting, and I let my eyes drift closed.

It’s my first night of freedom in three years.

My chest aches, my eyes burn, and yet I don’t cry. I can’t .

“No one is coming for you.” Kyldare’s voice is a soft croon, attempting to lull me into compliance. “The pirates you traveled with? We went back and killed them all.”

No. No, we had a deal .

Kyldare angles his head. “You didn’t think we would allow such filth to live? Our queen does not allow piracy in her waters.”

Despair swamps me. His words have the opposite effect he intended. I block him out, focusing only on Daharak, on Carosa, on Edorn. I no longer hear Kyldare’s voice. Instead, I hear Addie, muttering to herself as she stirs something in a big pot. I hear Lonn’s belly laugh as he scrapes coins across the table with a smug grin, pointing to his cards. I hear Neil’s grunts as he trains me in hand-to-hand.

“This is useless.” I catch Kyldare’s disgusted words. He leans over me, and I instinctively struggle, heavy chains clanking around my wrists. “Perhaps you need some time alone to contemplate your life choices.”

A woman begins chanting, her voice making the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I thrash desperately, but my limbs are turning heavy. Leaden.

Kyldare pulls me into his arms, and I’m suddenly limp. Horror engulfs me as he smiles. “I’ll see you soon, Madinia Farrow.”

He places me gently on the bed. The chains fall from my wrists and Kyldare lets out a low hum. “We don’t need these anymore, do we?” My eyes drift shut, but I don’t dream. I’m trapped in my own body, unable to even open my eyes.

Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.

I attempt to thrash, but I can’t even tense my muscles. How long will he leave me here?

I was supposed to die with a sword in my hand and a smirk on my face. Not alone and trapped, forgotten and abandoned.

Kyldare’s words repeat on a loop. “I’ll see you soon, Madinia Farrow.”

Madinia Farrow.

I fought in a war. I saved a continent. I will not break here.

I will protect it with my life.

Gasping, I sit up, my entire body shuddering. My teeth chatter, my hands clamped to my chest as my heart thrashes against my ribs.

I can move. I’m free.

A war. There was a war. I refuse to believe Kyldare’s words. Daharak and her people are alive. They have to be.

But what is it that I’m protecting?

A thud sounds, followed by a loud bang. I jolt, staring at the wall. Did Calysian fall out of bed?

A scuffle, followed by a grunt.

Calysian was right to make us switch rooms. Those men are here for me.

I’m on my feet in an instant, grabbing the soldier’s jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders, ensuring the heavy chains won’t fall. I strap the sword onto my back over the jacket. With a deep breath, I open the window.

My head swims. Three floors. I might not die in my attempt to get to the roof, but if I broke an ankle, I’d be defenseless.

A shout sounds, followed by a clash of metal.

I hesitate. Should I…help? I may not trust the man, but he did escort me here.

A feeling of doom slides over me, turning my palms slick. I didn’t suffer for three years just to hand back my first taste of freedom.

I have to run. Have to protect. Have to move now .

Wiping my damp palms on my leggings, I haul myself onto the narrow windowsill. I have moments. Moments before whoever sold us out tells Kyldare’s men to check this room.

I stretch one hand up, my fingers sliding against rough stone. My fingertips find a crack, a brick jutting out just enough for my purposes.

My muscles are weak, and I have a sudden vision of my body falling backward, my head cracking like an egg on the stone below.

A man screams. Not Calysian. But the sound is enough to drive me into action and I pull myself up, my arms immediately trembling from the strain.

Rough stone scrapes my fingertips, and my boots slide as I struggle to find a grip. I dangle for one terrifying moment, my whole weight hanging by my fingertips. My right foot finds a narrow ledge and I push.

My relieved breath sounds like a sob.

Go. Go now.

The roof is just a footspan above my head. I reach for the ledge, pulling myself up. My chest scrapes against the edge as I hoist myself onto the roof and collapse, my mouth dry.

Don’t stop.

I stick to the side of the roof, not daring to step onto the thatched center. The stables are on the west side of the inn, attached to the main building, but the roof slopes sharply downward. One wrong step and I’ll tumble from the edge.

I have to get to my horse.

Crouching, I shuffle along the side of the roof. My foot slips, sending my heart lurching into my throat. But I throw myself to the side, wobbling uneasily.

The stable roof is much lower, and I peer down into the darkness. The sound of horses lures me closer—a soft nicker, the scrape of a hoof, a loud sigh. I turn my back, crouching at the edge, and lean onto the roof, sliding until I’m hanging above the stables.

I drop. My feet slam into the stable roof, and I stumble, dropping to my knees as pain explodes through my legs.

Gingerly, I test my limbs. Nothing broken.

Still, I crawl across the roof until I reach the edge.

The ground below is a manageable drop, and I swing my legs over the side once more. The impact is jarring, but I’m instantly moving, sliding past a sleeping stablehand.

My horse is waiting in the closest stall to the entrance, and I don’t waste any time, grabbing the saddle and reins. She shuffles on her feet, likely as unhappy to be fleeing in the middle of the night as I am.

“I know, girl. I’m sorry.”

The scent of hay and leather engulfs me as I tack her as quickly as possible. It’s been too long since I’ve ridden bareback, and I don’t have the muscle strength to stay on her back at a gallop. Still, my heart pounds in my ears at the sound of more shouting from the inn.

A shadow slips into the stables and I wrestle my sword from my sheath.

Calysian steps toward me. He angles his head, lifting one eyebrow. “Leaving me for dead?” he drawls. “Ice cold.”