Page 119 of Things I Read About

“Why would I? Black is superior in every way. In silk? For a formal event? Forget about it.” She repeats the last phrase with a terrible Italian accent, as made famous by the showDark Angelin the early 2000s. We laugh.

“So, my assignment is to keep you away from The Assassin, correct?”

“Yes. All week, I’ve made up my mind. I have to be done with him. I am done. He’s rejected me so many times, I’m pathetic.”

“Hey now, watch how you talk about my favorite cousin, bitch.”

I snort. “Seriously. I feel strong now, Peak Sally, on her own. And that’s how I need to stay. So”—I turn to face her—“No more ogling or staring. No more trying to be close to him, physically or metaphorically. You may have to actually restrain me.” Kat laughs but I’m serious. “No more hoping for feelings that either aren’t there, or are but he’s too afraid to admit it.”

“The feelings are there, Sal. Look at you. You’re a genius—a kind, loving one—shoved inside of a Betty Boop body that is wearin' thecrapout of that dress. I bet you get hit on three times tonight, not including him.”

“He won’t hit on me. And even if he did, I have to say no, Kat. You have to remind me. He had many chances and he said no. Now I’m saying no.”

“You got it, but… Whew wee!” She gestures at my body.

I give myself one last look. I couldn’t fit into most of Sadie’s formal dresses, so I actually had Dean take me into the city. This dress is a plain dark champagne satin, matching my skin tone. It’s tight at the bust and waist, but then goes out into a full skirt. The effect makes me look and feel a lot taller, which I like.All my space.

Kat curled my hair into what she calls sexy beach waves. She approves of the reappearance of my bangs. I wish I’d remembered to darken my hair, but I’ve been focused on auditions. The auditions no one knows about. I debated telling Kat when she arrived yesterday but stopped myself.

This is my decision. And even if I decide I want to pursue music, I may not make it. I may not be good enough. Why drag my family through the drama of that? I remember in high school and college when Sadie auditioned constantly. It was an exhausting roller coaster for her and by extension for all of us.

“We doin’ this? We could stay here and watch your sister’s insane movie collection instead?” Kat breaks me out of my thoughts.

“Yes, let’s go.”

We make it to the hotel hosting the gala in under an hour, though the drive dragged on. Kat cranked angry girl music that I think Dean hated.

I thought about Nate, trying to picture him in his black combat-looking outfit. Trying to prepare myself to not swoon or smile or faint or physically accost him on sight.

But as I step out of the car upon arrival, it’s clear I prepared in vain.

He...

He is wearing a suit.

I can’t.

A suit!

“Let’s get in there, Sally.” Kat grabs my hand and squeezes hard.

“Ow!”

“I think drool might actually be forming at the corners of your mouth, c’mon,” Kat whispers in my ear. “You said no ogling”

I blink hard and follow her inside. Sadie is greeting us, but Kat is yelling that we need some water or something. I can’t really think straight.

He’s in a suit. A black-on-black suit. I thought he was a dream before, but I was wrong. This is the dream. Him, dark, dangerous, huge and chiseled and wrapped in shades of black.

God, why do you hate me?

“He doesn’t but he’s not doing you any favors tonight. Not with that suit. Wowza.”

“I said that out loud?”

“More like muttered,” Kat says as we arrive at the makeshift bar in the corner, almost crashing into the table. “Hard liquor?” She turns to me.

“No, definitely not. Something fruity with very little alcohol. I’m a mess as it is.”