Page 89 of These Monstrous Ties

“There’s nothing to stop me from getting my dick sucked by O, is there?”

I clench my fists so hard I know I’ve drawn blood. “Be my guest.”

His blue eyes flash in amusement and my stomach cramps. I wonder, for a second, if he’s going to walk out the door and go do just that.

I wonder if I’ll feel better if he does.

But he doesn’t.

He shifts on his feet, shaking his head, running a hand through his dark curls. “You know, I spent this past year looking for you. Trying to get back to you.” He runs a hand absentmindedly over his black shirt, and I think about the scars on his abdomen. “I thought, once I found your pretty ass, this would be done. This bullshit between us.” His hand falls to his side as he meets my gaze. “But it’s just getting started, isn’t it?” He cocks his head. “You never were gonna be mine, were you? That night was just a fantasy.”

“Part of your Lover’s Death, right?” I prod.

He rolls his eyes. “Lover’s Death gives us an illusion of control. We don’t usually fall in love with ourlovers.” He huffs out a laugh. “And you were no exception.”

He turns on his heel and his hand goes for the door.

“Wait,” I call out, my voice trembling.

He rests his hand on the doorknob but doesn’t look at me.

“Wait,” I say again. I stand to my feet and take a step toward him. He still doesn’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” I begin, even though I’m not even sure what I’m sorry for. I see his shoulders tense. “I’m sorry, Lucifer, I…I’ve thought about you every fucking day since that night. Thinking you’d fucked me over.” I take a deep breath, pushing past the fog of the vodka and the pills. “But you didn’t. And I don’t know what to do now.” I tangle my hand in my hair. “I don’t fucking know what to do.”

For a moment, he still doesn’t look at me, and I wonder if he won’t. If he’ll just walk out that door anyway. Find Ophelia, or someone else.

If he does, there’s nothing I can do about it.

But instead, he turns to me, and I don’t see rage in his eyes. I see sadness instead.

He closes the space between us and wraps his arms around me, pressing his brow to mine.

“Lilith,” he says, and I close my eyes, breathing him in. “I told you before…we’ll figure this out. Whateverthisis…we’ll figure it out.”

I nod, eyes still closed. “But Mayhem…”

His breath catches. “Fuck Mayhem,” he growls. “What’s done is done. But for the love of God, please don’t do that shit again. I would hate to break his neck.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Present

Halloween night comes slowly.The sky begins to darken slowly. I dress slowly, pulling on black, false-leather pants. A black, long-sleeve shirt, a black zip-up hoodie over it. I do my makeup slowly, white and black skeleton paint, a black nose like a cat’s for the fun of it. I exaggerate my skeleton mouth, the teeth inside. I pull my hood over my head, tuck my brown hair behind my ears, splay the bangs from my grey eyes.

When I look in the cracked mirror hanging above the sink in the old house, I smile.

It’s beautiful, and terrifying.

I hope Jeremiah is ready for a reunion.

I don’t bother to bring a gun. I have a blade in my back pocket instead. Guns are for quick deaths. Knives are for pain. And I need Jeremiah to feel an ounce of the pain I feel at what he’s done to us.

When I open the door, see the sun just starting its descent down past the trees of Raven Park through a window, Lucifer stands in the doorway.

And heisLucifer.

He’s dressed almost the same as I am, with the same makeup, his haunting blue eyes contrasting against the white and black makeup on his face. He has his arms crossed, and he’s watching me carefully.