Page 85 of These Monstrous Ties

And then I feel it. At the worst time, I feel whatever pills I just snorted. They’re making me feel...light. Maybe it’s my imagination. I don’t know fuck about pills but there’s no way they could be working this fast, and yet… a smile spreads on my face, but I fight it back.

“He feels sorry for you. That’s it,” Mayhem is saying, still pointing out the window.

I resist the strange urge to smile and crawl to the end of the bed, sliding off and coming to stand beside him at the window. I can feel his body heat, smell marijuana and cologne and leather.

I follow his finger.

I see a crowd gathered around the bonfire, and I see Atlas picking up Natalie, wrapping her legs around him. I see Ezra, still tending to the fire. I don’t see Cain and remember he’s downstairs. And for a moment, I don’t see Lucifer.

Until I do.

I stop breathing.

He’s got his arm around a cute, curvy girl with long blonde hair in a high ponytail. I don’t recognize her, but he’s leaning against her and she’s leaning into him and then he whispers in her ear and she throws her head back and laughs. She’s wearing cut off shorts and a jacket is tied around her waist.

“You don’t belong here,” Mayhem says beside me.

I turn to face him, swallowing down any anger before I can allow myself to really feel it. Instead, I go with the pills. I force a smile. His eyes are slits as he glares at me, but he doesn’t move.

“Then make me leave,” I whisper, leaning in closer to him.

For a moment, he says nothing. Only stares at me with his arms crossed. I take in his biceps, the tattoos wrapped around them, the inverted cross on his face, his long lashes. And then he pushes me back on the bed.

I laugh. “This isn’t the door,” I tease him. He pulls his shirt off over his head, undoes his belt. There’s more tattoos all over his chest, trailing down to his abs.

But before he comes toward me, he cocks his head and meets my gaze. “You want this?” he asks me.

I bite my lip and his eyes find my mouth. Then I let out a breathless, “Yes”, and he takes a step closer.

He yanks down his pants after he unzips his jeans and I see his hard cock beneath his black boxer briefs.

He steps out of his pants and takes another step toward me.

“I know you took pills from Natalie,” he says in a low voice. “I saw you do it.”

Another step. I back against the wall, bring my knees up to my chest.

“I’m a big girl,” I murmur.

The corner of his mouth twitches in a smile but his gaze is anything but playful.

“You sure you want this? Because Lucifer might be rough,” he laughs, “but I’m fucking careless.”

I take a breath in and glance out the window. But from where I’m sitting on Mayhem’s borrowed bed, I can’t see anything. I just nod. Fuck Lucifer. Fuck the Unsaints. What does it matter anymore? I’m leaving here when this is all over. I’m leaving and I’m never coming back. I’ll never see them again.

“Yes,” I answer him.

And then he’s on me.

He pulls off my shirt, yanks down my jeans and throws them on the floor. I realize, through the fuzzy haze of alcohol and pills, that I’m wearing drab grey cotton panties, but I also realize it’s pretty dark in here and I don’t really care.

Mayhem certainly doesn’t seem to care. He literally rips them in two and I try to protest, but he shoves my head into the bed, and fuck, I like it. He runs his whole hand over my ass, and underneath me, to my slit.

I moan, and his other hand presses my face further into the bed. He leans over me, abs on my back.

“Keep it quiet,Angel,” he whispers against my neck.

I laugh, but he wraps his hand around my throat and I’m quiet.