Page 35

35

BLAKELY

I was right.

Every night for the past week, I’ve been sleeping in Jamie’s bed with him. I’ve fallen asleep still hot and sweaty from an orgasm or halfway through a movie that I’ve let him choose, knowing damn well I’m too tired to finish.

I wake up every morning to the black curtains still drawn over the tall windows and patio door and his pillow tucked beneath my arm from where he’s slipped it before heading down to the gym.

It’s become routine to throw one of his sweatshirts on and bring coffee down. At first, I didn’t want to disturb him. I quickly changed my mind once I realized that sitting on the padded floor and watching him sweat and grunt every morning with a hot coffee in my hand was a damn good time.

We’ve spent so much time in the shower together after he’s finished that I’ve used the rest of my body lotion just to keep from turning into a dry-skinned monster.

I ran out of it this morning and have a refill on the top of my grocery list. Because yeah, I can have a real list now. My first paycheque from the Pythons was deposited on Friday. The first of many, I hope .

Most of it went away in my savings, set aside for what I know Jamie won’t take from me willingly but I’ll somehow sneak into his house once we leave. The rest . . . well, the rest is mine.

Jamie has taken such good care of us. I’m grateful I can save most of what I earn. When reality hits in a month, it’s going to be hard to fall back into what we used to be.

“Do you like pumpkin, Blakely?” Gracie asks, holding a tart up in front of me.

I blink, focusing on Jamie’s mom and the women seated beside her at the table. The brunette on her right with silver streaks through her hair and emerald-green eyes is Ava Hutton, Jamie’s aunt and Gracie’s sister-in-law. Her daughter, Adalyn, is beside her, and after learning we’re the same age, she has made me feel incredibly self-conscious, considering she’s the definition of a blonde bombshell.

With a successful career in modelling, she’s somehow not even the most famous person in this family. It seems Ava birthed and raised a top NHL player, a model, and Noah Hutton himself. I don’t know how she did it and am honestly grateful for that. Having kids isn’t even on my radar, let alone three who have the entire world eating out of their palms.

Gracie and Tyler seem to have the most normal family, and even that is a stretch. Oliver chose a career in firefighting, and Jamie is . . . Jamie. Labelling him as just a football player would be insulting.

“I don’t mind it,” I answer Gracie, taking the tart.

It’s still a weird concept to me to have family get-togethers without a special occasion or planned dinner. We’re not at the Batemans’ house for a birthday or Thanksgiving dinner but just because they wanted to sit and visit with everyone.

“The berry tarts you brought us were delicious, and I wanted to try and make something festive for the season as a thank you. I’m not the best at them yet, though. Maybe you can give me lessons sometime. ”

“I’d love that,” I say with a soft smile.

Braxton, Maddox’s wife, snakes a pumpkin tart from the plate and sinks her teeth into it. I cover my mouth with my hand when I laugh and look back at Gracie, searching for her reaction.

“I see baby likes pumpkin. I’ll make note of that for the baby shower,” Ava muses.

Gracie is quick to unwrap another tart and hand it to Braxton. She snatches it instantly and, with her mouth still full of the first one, glances at me and mumbles, “I’m sorry. We skipped lunch, and I’m tempted to eat my own arm.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Congratulations on the pregnancy,” I tell her, offering a sincere smile.

She huffs and tucks a bundle of tight black curls behind her ear. “Thank you. Apparently, the plan of only one wasn’t good enough for my husband. The Huttons have magic sperm, I swear. Soon enough, I’ll have to get one of those long leashes for my million babies.”

“Another reason I’m glad to be a Hutton woman instead of married to a man,” Adalyn cheers, taking a heavy swig of the cocktail Gracie made for us all earlier.

Braxton glares at the cocktail and sips from her massive jug of water. “As if you didn’t give birth to a baby literally six months ago.”

“I let myself get pregnant. If I hadn’t, Cooper would have been trying for years with no result. You’re a sucker who has to either become celibate or make Maddox triple-wrap it in a grocery bag or something.”

It was easy to tell that the adorable toddler with the big, floppy pink bow in her blonde hair and a matching outfit to Adalyn was her daughter. Jamie made a beeline for her where she was playing on a fancy play mat the moment we got inside today, leaving me to figure myself out amongst his giant family.

Gracie was the perfect host and made sure I was introduced to everyone I hadn’t met before. There must have been some sort of warning issued before our arrival because I’ve yet to be faced with even one person who doesn’t approve of my being here.

I thought there would at least be one person who was obvious with their distrust and disbelief in a group this big. That hasn’t been the case at all.

If Nate were here, I’d be clinging onto him for comfort, but he’s at an extra practice, leaving me on my own.

Ava shakes her head at her daughter. “Can we please not talk about wrapping anything in a grocery bag, Addie? I’d like not to scare Blakely away so soon.”

The weight of each one of them staring at me is hard to bear. I do my best to pretend I’m not feeling it.

Lifting my left hand, I wiggle my ring finger. “I’m afraid that there’s no scaring me away now.”

“That ring is gorgeous,” Braxton says between bites of her desserts.

Addie leans over the table to get a closer look. “Did you help Jamie pick it out, or does he just actually have great taste?”

“I didn’t help him at all.”

“That’s my boy,” Gracie says, chin high.

“At least you don’t have anything to worry about with Bateman sperm. You’ll most likely end up with two boys. That seems to be their tradition,” Addie sings.

Gracie hums. “That’s not technically right. Tyler has two brothers.”

“He does?” I ask before slamming my mouth shut with a wince.

There isn’t time to worry about overstepping before Gracie’s reaching across the table to pat my hand.

“Yes. His older brother isn’t welcome in our family, so we forget about him more often than not. However, he is still blood,” she explains.

Ava drinks some of her cocktail before adding, “Half-blood.”

“If we’re being that specific, yes. Both of Tyler’s brothers are only half related to him. But in the same way his older brother isn’t, his mother was never welcomed in our family.”

My confusion must be obvious because Gracie offers me a sad smile and squeezes my hand.

“His mother was an addict for a long, long time. She didn’t want help, and nobody had seen her in years to ask her to try again. A few years back, she overdosed. It was all a big hurdle to work past, but what’s life without a little turbulence?”

It’s a sucker punch to the gut. Emotion blurs my vision before I blink past it and gently push away from the table, smiling past the sudden pain in my chest.

“Excuse me, I just need to use the bathroom.” I force the words up before retracing my steps out of the kitchen and down the hall to where I remember the bathroom being.

Taking the first left, I struggle to keep my gait slow and controlled when what I want is to run. I come to a dead end in front of a window and stop so fast I almost trip. The Bateman house isn’t huge, but it’s not all that easy to navigate when you’ve only been here once before.

“Fuck,” I whisper, rubbing my palms against my forehead.

“I’m going to guess you’re not in this hallway to stare out that specific window?” a deep voice asks from behind me.

It’s like the universe is out to get me today because there’s no other reason as to why it would be Jamie’s father who found me.

“I was looking for the bathroom. It must have been right instead of left.”

“Coming from the dining room, it actually would have been straight.”

I blow out a tight breath. “Even better.”

“Jamie’s in the basement if you want to talk to him.”

“Do I sound that bad?” I ask, letting my mask slip an inch.

“No. You sound fine.”

I risk turning around. Tyler’s leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and dark eyes peeling my skin back layer by layer in an attempt to see inside my head .

“In that case, I don’t need Jamie to help me go to the bathroom,” I say.

“I said that you sounded fine. Not that you were.”

“Did he tell you about my mom, or does everyone only know about her from when Nate mentioned her to Gracie?” I blurt out, assuming he knows without having to be explicitly told.

He shakes his head, not giving away a single one of his thoughts with his blank expression.

“Neither. But I can tell there’s a whole lot of grey in your past.”

I fight past my every reaction and strain to speak without screaming. “Your wife told me about your mom.”

“And it affected you,” he states, not asks.

“My mom took off five years ago. She turned to drugs after my dad died. Once she couldn’t stand seeing me and my brother anymore, that’s when she left.”

“I’m sorry, Blakely.”

“Jamie knows my mom is gone. Do you think that’s why he was interested in me? Because he felt bad and had some sort of epiphany that he could help me because you’d been through something similar?”

It was my first thought after hearing those words come out of Gracie’s mouth. That Jamie chose me out of everyone else because he felt bad for me. That due to his father’s traumas, he was doing me what he thought was a favour. If that’s the case, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Tyler uncrosses his arms and takes a cautious step toward me. “While my son might be big-hearted, he’s never let that cloud his judgment. He wouldn’t have married you because of your past.”

“So it’s just a coincidence?” I scoff.

“Listen, Blakely, you can either let your past play into your present and make you jaded and unable to trust those who want to be in your life, or you can seek happiness in spite of it. To me, it looks like you’ve chosen the latter, so don’t change course now. Everyone has scars, whether externally or internally, but if you’re ashamed of them, you’ll never learn how to be proud of everything you’ve overcome.

“I went through hell for twenty years of my life, and I’ll carry that with me to the grave. But with so much love in my life, it’s easy to see the light ahead instead of the darkness behind me. Gracie was always my guiding light. Then my boys found me, and while I haven’t forgotten my past, it’s just that. My past. Jamie didn’t fall in love with you because of something that happened to you but because of the person you became because of it. It will help to tell him about your past. All of it.”

My eyes burn like I’ve just dumped hot sauce in them. I look away, putting all my focus into not crying in front of my husband’s father. It’s pointless when he sets a light hand on my shoulder.

“Do you hug?” he asks gruffly. I wipe beneath my eyes and nod once. “Alright.”

Having him pull me into a tight, strong hug has every emotion inside of me intensifying. It’s been years since I’ve gotten a hug like this.

Since before my dad died.

God, I know that the moment we break apart, I’m going to be mortified. Who in their right mind sobs in the arms of their husband’s father after only their third time meeting? Add in my childhood trauma dump, and I’ll have to use every excuse in the book to get out of coming here for the rest of our marriage.

“Bandit?”

I sniff, and with a firm pat on my back, Tyler releases me. Jamie’s at my side in a flash, bundling me up in his arms. Comfort drapes over me, soothing some of the raging waters inside of my head and chest.

“What did you say to her, Dad?” he accuses, kissing the side of my head.

I part my lips, but Tyler beats me to speaking. “I’m proud of you, Jamie. Remember my advice, and come downstairs together when you’re done.”

Advice? Whatever it is, Jamie seems to understand. He nods at his dad, and we watch the older man walk away, not getting lost in the halls the way I did.

“What happened?” Jamie asks, voice soft.

“Your mom told me about your grandma.”

He frowns. “She’s not really my grandma.”

“My mom is the same as her, Jamie. She’s an addict who hated me and Nate. It wasn’t even my father dying that made her hate us. She did from the moment we were born. I was an accident, and Nate was a mistake that she tried to correct but didn’t succeed with. I’m broken and bruised and damaged. But you help. You don’t even have to do anything, and you somehow smooth my scars.

“And now, I need you to promise me that you didn’t choose me because you felt bad about my mom. Because if you did, I . . . I don’t know what I’ll do.”

A thousand emotions flicker across his face, but it’s affection that shines through them all. Affection that appears too much like love.

He takes my face in his hands and kisses my nose, then both of my cheeks. “You may be bruised, but you’re not broken. And I didn’t choose you because of your mom. Your pain and the struggle you’ve faced has never affected how I view you. For the good or bad. Not once.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper brokenly.

Stroking my cheekbones, he asks, “For what? Being human?”

“For letting my emotions get the better of me. Especially here with your entire family around.”

“Nobody knows but you, me, and my dad. Even if everyone did, they wouldn’t view you any differently.”

Without uttering another word, I shut my eyes and soak up the strength in the hands holding my face. Jamie ghosts his lips over my forehead and sighs, making no move to let me go .

It should be fear that strikes when I realize why Jamie’s become my comfort in every terrifying situation or how he’s the only one who seems to see through the walls I’m too afraid to let down.

Yet, somehow, accepting that I’m in love with this man brings me nothing but the steady calm I’ve been searching my entire life for.