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BLAKELY

On Thursday, Jamie drives us home from work—speeding, might I add—and puts himself to work prepping for Nate’s football practice. He’s like a little mother hen, filling the squirting water bottles he bought in bulk from the closest sports shop and packing Nate’s new gear into the tub alongside them.

“He’s going to lose it when he sees that stuff, you know?”

My socks are scratchy in my sneakers as I slip them on, but I keep my complaints to myself. I’ve already promised myself that when my first paycheque comes in from the Pythons, I’ll spend a few dollars on replacing both my socks and shoes before piling the rest away in my savings.

“You’re sure he’ll like them? If I didn’t want it to be a surprise, I would have brought him with me and had him choose his own. My dad spent three hours in the store with me when I upgraded my gear the first time. Should I have done that instead?” Jamie rambles, pacing in the entryway.

Apart from waiting for Nate, we’re ready to go. I think the hanging around doing nothing is making Jamie lose his mind a little bit.

I finish putting my jacket on and hand him the first one I see in the closet. It’s a Pythons jacket similar to the one Coach was wearing on the sidelines of the last game.

Jamie takes one look at it and shakes his head, reaching around me for a plain black jacket instead.

“I don’t want to draw attention away from Nate tonight,” Jamie explains, shrugging the black one on.

“That’s sweet.”

He smirks, reaching for the bottom of my jacket before starting to zip it up. “Yeah?”

“Don’t make me take it back.”

“Alright, fine. Do you want a toque?”

“It’s like ten degrees outside.”

“Is that a no?”

“It’s a no. I don’t have the face shape for a toque. I just look like a pudgy toy doll.”

Clunky footsteps on the staircase announce Nate’s presence. He slides toward us on his socked feet and snags his coat from the hook on the wall. “She’s more of a beanie girl, Jamie.”

“Don’t tell him all my secrets,” I scold half-heartedly.

Jamie snaps his fingers and points finger guns at him. “That’s right. Thanks, buddy.”

He digs into the closet and pulls my purple beanie from the top shelf. After tugging it onto my head, he gently moves my hair behind my ears.

“Can’t have you getting cold,” he says with a wink.

“Are all of these bottles for the team?” Nate asks, staring into the tub Jamie spent too long packing.

My husband jumps at my brother and hip bumps him away from the tub. “They are. I was going to bring snacks too, but your sister reminded me that you weren’t all ten-year-olds and probably wouldn’t have appreciated football-shaped sandwiches.”

“I’d have eaten one,” Nate says with a shrug.

Jamie spins to face me. “It’ll be you I’m sending a bunch of hungry fifteen-year-old boys to when they feel like complaining.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“Can we go now, please? I don’t want to be late tonight of all nights,” Nate says, his voice timid, almost like he’s too afraid to show how excited he is.

Jamie realizes it, too, and doesn’t hesitate to lift the tub into his arms and lead the charge out the front door. “Remember the door code, Nate?”

“Yep!”

“Lock up with your sister while I put these in the car, and then we’ll go.”

“Got it, Jamie!”

I stand on the porch steps and watch Nate stick his tongue out and concentrate on inputting the code on the door correctly. When the sound of the deadbolt turning comes a beat later, he tests the door before coming to my side.

“Jamie’s awesome, Lake. I like him.”

As I turn my head to look at Jamie as he slides the tub into the open trunk, my heart skips. It’s such a simple task, and knowing that he’s doing this all just to see my little brother smile only makes me feel more confident in the choice I made yesterday.

Despite the weight of what Jamie was asking me, I knew what I was going to do the moment he brought it up. Giving in to my emotions doesn’t come easy to me, yet somehow, with him, I’m more open than I’ve ever been.

It’s still too early to know whether I’ve made a mistake, so I guess I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and hope for the best.

Putting my arm around Nate and being hit with a reminder of how tall he’s getting, I say, “Yeah, he’s pretty great. We got lucky. ”

“Think he’ll be up to play some Madden with me after practice?”

“I think he’d do just about anything with you if you asked.”

“Will you play too?”

“Only if you promise to go easy on me.”

“Yes!” he shouts, beaming as he pulls away and jogs to the SUV.

Jamie catches my eyes when Nate crashes into him. He reaches a hand down to mess up my brother’s hair and playfully shove him away.

“Don’t roughhouse before practice, Nate!” I shout, hiding a smile as I join them.

“Sorry!”

He gets in the back seat while Jamie closes the trunk and moves to open the passenger door for me.

“After you, wife.”

I grab his hand before getting in. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he coos, shooting me a wink.

He shuts the door and rounds the hood, his eyes not leaving mine until he’s forced to slip into the vehicle and drive the half hour to the field.

Even then, he keeps a claiming hand on my thigh and fills the drive with questions for Nate. By the time we pull up along the curb, Jamie’s repeating players’ names back to Nate and matching each one up with their position. It’s adorable, really.

Nate’s the first one out of the SUV and is waiting at the back for the liftgate to rise before I even have my door open. I don’t dare tease him for his excitement, though. I’ve been dreaming of seeing this spark back in his eyes for years.

“Hey, Nate, before we head up, I wanted to show you something,” Jamie says, shutting the driver’s-side door.

“Okay, cool.”

I pause beside the back door, keeping myself hidden just a minute longer. This is a moment for them, and I don’t want to interrupt .

“I got you a few things. Blakely did tell me that you were wanting to buy your own gear and that she wasn’t going to let you, but I wanted to try and help a bit. I’ve got access to stores and brands that I’ve never been able to take advantage of before, so I figured that now was a great time for it. You can tell me if you don’t like something, and we can make a trip together to swap it out for whatever else you’d prefer. Hell, you can even tell me to take it all back and that I totally overstepped here,” Jamie explains.

A pause and then a sliding noise. “You got me new gear?”

“I did.”

More silence. And some more.

I move out of my hiding spot and steal a look at them. My vision blurs instantly, and I cover my mouth to stop a sob from escaping.

Nathan is clutching Jamie in a bear hug and has his eyes squeezed shut so hard it seems painful. He tightens his jaw and clutches Jamie tighter, fighting his emotions.

“I’ve got you, kid. You keep looking out for your sister, and I’ll do the same for the both of you. We’re family,” Jamie says quietly, rubbing Nate’s back.

“Family,” Nate swears.

I don’t say a word as they finish their hug, and Jamie ruffles Nate’s hair again, lightening the mood.

“Come on, we’ll haul everything to the field, and then you can swap out your old stuff in the locker room.”

Stepping into their line of vision, I reach for Nate’s hand and squeeze while meeting Jamie’s waiting stare. His heart bleeds in his eyes, so open and raw. I don’t need to speak a word, and neither does he. Everything we want to say passes through the way we look at each other.

Thank you.

I’d do anything for you and your brother.

“You even colour matched to our jerseys!” Nate exclaims.

I step into Jamie’s arms and touch my fingers to his jaw before kissing him softly. He holds me close for a beat, as if reminding himself how it feels to have me pressed against his body. I know that because I’m doing the exact same thing.

Slowly, we separate and turn to Nate. He has the tub in his arms and is waving a foot beneath the SUV to trigger the liftgate to close.

“I’m going to make sure everyone tries extra hard tonight,” he notes, nudging us to head to the field now. “I want to make sure you come to another practice.”

Jamie locks the doors and drapes an arm over my shoulders as we follow Nate. I slide my hand into the back pocket of his jeans.

“I don’t care how well practice goes. I’ll come back as many times as I can regardless,” Jamie says.

Nate keeps staring straight ahead. “Really? You don’t have to.”

Pain lances through my chest. Our mom is responsible for this deep-rooted feeling of unworthiness that he carries. At ten years old, he was too smart to miss why she left us. We were never good enough for her, never worthy of her attention or love. And now, he’s left searching for affirmation from those he loves.

I’ve tried my hardest, but maybe I haven’t done a good enough job.

Jamie tucks me closer and drops a kiss to the top of my head. “You could warm the bench every game for the rest of your football career, and I’d still come see you, Nate. You’ve got my word.”

My brother stumbles a step on the grass, his hunched shoulders pulling back. “Even after the you know is over?”

I hold my breath.

“Even then. You’ll just have to remind your sister to save me a seat for the games I can make it to.”

This time, Nate spins to face us, and the cheek-splitting grin on his face could light up the entire universe .

“You’re awesome, Jamie.”

“So are you, buddy.”

“Do you think you could watch how I play and give me some pointers? Coach is great, but you’re, well, you .”

Jamie doesn’t hesitate for even a half second. “Absolutely. If you’re up for it, we can stay a bit tonight and work on some things.”

“Don’t you have a run-through in the morning?” I ask him quietly.

He simply brushes another kiss to my head. “I’ll live.”

It’s not like practice runs that late, but Jamie’s up and working out in the home gym every morning before six. I learned that the hard way.

A few players on Nate’s team are already here, dressed in their gear and stretching on the field. I don’t have even half the number of names memorized that Jamie already does.

When one of the kids spots Nate, he waves him over, eyeing the tub in his arms.

“Hey, Nate.”

“Hi, Max.”

I debate removing my hand from Jamie’s pocket but hesitate. And when I catch the way one of the women on the bleachers is gawking at him, I toss the idea in the dumpster.

“Looks like you’ve been spotted, Pretty Boy,” I muse.

He chuckles and reaches across our bodies to snag my left hand. The simple silver band on his ring finger makes my breathing turn thready.

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, flashing me a crooked smile. “Good thing I have my wife here to keep me safe, then.”

I’m too petty not to look back at the woman. The envy in her expression soothes me.

“Yeah, I think I can protect you.”