Page 17

17

BLAKELY

Waking up in a new place hasn’t gotten any easier by day three.

It has less to do with the abundance of space in the room I chose and the soft king bed inside it and more with the lack of neighbourhood noises that I’m used to waking me in the middle of the night.

I’ve tried my best to let go of the fears that I grew to have in our last place, but with my several trips to the front and back doors to ensure they’re locked and moments spent in Nate’s doorway watching him sleep, I’m failing.

Every night, I’m up for hours. Only when I’m too exhausted for my body to stay alert do I finally pass out.

Jamie keeps his distance once I disappear into the bedroom, not so much as stepping foot on our side of the hall. I know that because I spent the first night with my back to my door, listening for a creak in the floors, and the second a bit further away on the rug beside the bed.

It’s ridiculous, considering I let him sleep on the floor right beside me a few nights ago. That should have permanently engrained in me that he’s safe and I’m not in danger around him. For a normal person, it would have .

It would seem that I’m far from normal.

More like severely untrusting and fit with half a decade’s worth of abandonment issues.

The lack of sleep is wearing on me now. The weight seated on my eyelids makes it hard to see anything on the TV besides blurs of bright colours. With the soft couch beneath me and the fuzzy blanket tucked around my feet, I know it’s only a matter of time before I pass out from exhaustion.

“Blakely.”

I answer with a hum, prying my eyes open. The brightness on the screen in front of me makes them burn as I blink away the tears that appear.

“You should go to bed. The couch isn’t all that great for sleeping.”

Jamie crouches in front of me and adjusts the blanket on my lower half, hiking it higher. He glances at the TV and chuckles.

“Did you notice that you’re watching cartoons?”

It’s early enough in the morning that it would make sense. “I wasn’t really watching them.”

“I know. You’re passing out instead. Is there something wrong with your bed? Or the room? I can swap you if you’re having trouble sleeping where you are.”

“It’s not the room or the bed.”

“But it’s something, right?”

With my vision free of tears, I stare at him and feel in real time as my mouth dries bit by bit.

It’s like opening a magazine to find a male model poised on the pages. Hair gelled back and face clean-shaven, Jamie stands to his full height and adjusts the sleeves of his suit jacket. The dusty-rose colour could be tacky on the wrong person, but he pulls it off with ease. His suit pants cup the thick muscles of his thighs, hardly restrained within the straight material. There’s no tie, and I think that fits him better than wearing one would.

The flexing of his fingers when he tucks one beneath the collar of his white dress shirt and tugs is dirty as fuck. Veins on a man’s hands are sexy on a good day, but toss in my sleepiness and the entire playboy in a suit thing he’s got going on, and I’m pretty much panting.

“Bandit?”

I cough, words getting caught in the knot in my throat. He drops to a crouch again and smooths his hand over my blanket-covered knee. The concern written over every inch of his face nearly does me in.

Not only is he really, really fucking hot, but he’s also one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. And I’m supposed to marry him next week?

Fuck. My. Life.

“Hey, breathe. I’ve got you, yeah?” he soothes, thumb stroking the curve of my knee.

I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on not leaning into his crowding body. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“I know. How about you take my bed while I’m gone? It’s bigger than the one you have.”

My refusal is immediate. “I’ll be fine here.”

“I’ll be back late tonight. I’m already late, and my brother’s going to chew my ear off if I don’t get out of here in the next thirty seconds. But just think about it. I’ll arm the alarm system when I leave, so just try and get some sleep.”

I rest my cheek against the back of the couch and nod. “Have fun, Jamie. I’m good here.”

He furrows his brows, not looking as though he believes a word I’m saying. His watch pings, and he sighs while reading the notification that appears.

The depth in his brown eyes is staggering when they flick up from the watch. “The fridge is full. If you need anything, I’ll have my phone on me. The ceremony is only an hour, and then?—”

“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, Jamie,” I interrupt before he can go full caregiver on me.

After Nate’s and my first night here, I thought Jamie would relax a bit, but if anything, he’s growing more anxious. Like he’s scared I’m going to decide I’m not happy here and take off. At least before the wedding.

There’s a lot of trust in this agreement on both sides. I’m trusting that he’s not going to turn into an absolute psycho, and he’s trusting that I’m not going to be a runaway bride and jeopardize his entire career.

He blows out a long breath. “I know you are. I’m just . . . You’re my friend, and I want to make sure you’re taken care of.”

You’re my friend.

I squeeze his hand, letting those words sink in. “Go. Send me a picture of you dancing later.”

“So you can imagine you’re there with me?” he teases, his grin crooked.

“Obviously.”

Laughing loosely, he plants a kiss on my head and stands. The shoulders of his suit jacket pull taut when he rolls them and starts backing out of the room.

“The first time we dance together at a wedding, it’ll be ours, Bandit.”

“Guess I should warn you that I’m a terrible dancer, then.”

“Even better. I’ve got two left feet.”

I roll my lips before saying, “Don’t be late for your brother’s wedding. Go.”

“Take a nap in my bed.”

“I don’t nap.”

“Have you ever just tried doing it?”

He’s nearly out of sight when I flip him off.

“Only as many times as you’ve tried telling yourself not to stare into the mirror every time you pass one.”

His smirk is the last thing I see.

“Touché, baby. Touché.”

JAMIE

Oliver’s possibly the chillest groom in history.

He’s as focused as I am on game day. The only time his calm exterior shook was when Mom came into the dressing room sobbing. She buried her face in his chest and cried long enough that my dad had to come and soothe her.

I took over when Dad moved to Oliver and pulled him in for a hug with softly spoken words exchanged between them. All I caught was a simple I’m proud of you.

Mom’s walking down the aisle with Oliver now, their arms linked and her hand gripping him tight.

I’m a step behind with little Nova, the maid of honour, watching as my big brother kisses Mom on the cheek and takes his spot at the altar.

He’s standing tall and proud, not the least bothered by the eyes on him for the first time in his life. While he never loved attention growing up and straight up detested it in his adulthood, right now, I know he’s not paying a single person around him any attention.

The only person he cares about is the woman a few paces behind me, hidden out of sight in her father’s arms. Avery, my soon-to-be sister-in-law, has been a member of our family for decades. Today only signifies the official marking of her place in our lives as my brother’s wife.

If I hadn’t already witnessed real, soul-altering love from my parents, I’d have found it in my brother’s eyes every time he spots Avery. Whether it’s in a crowded room or somewhere with only them and me, it’s so potent that I’d have to be clinically blind not to see it.

And then there’s Nova.

The adorable little girl who isn’t all that little anymore with the flowers in her hair and a long, deep green dress that swishes over the grass. She’s a spitting image of her mother with blonde hair, blue eyes, and the tiniest button nose in existence. After a sudden growth spurt, she’s teetering on being taller than Avery soon.

“Uncle J! You’ll make sure I don’t trip on my dress, right?” she asks, bouncing in the sparkly Crocs she’s hiding beneath her dress.

“Oh, I’ve got you, Nova-Bug,” I swear.

She hugs my waist and squeezes tight. “Thank you. I want to make sure this is the best day for Mom and Ollie.”

I won’t lie and say there’s not a part of me that wishes my brother could hear her call him Dad. Her birth father already stole that title, even if he isn’t worthy of it and my brother is.

Maybe one day, she’ll switch it up and surprise him.

“Oh, it already is, honey. Ollie’s been waiting for this day for years.”

Nova peers up at me with wide, hopeful eyes. “For us?”

Careful not to wreck her hair, I palm the back of her head softly and nod. “Yeah, Nova. He’s been waiting for the both of you his entire life.”

Shit, that chokes me up. Sniffing hard, I wet my lips and release my niece.

The wedding coordinator urges us to get back into our spot at the front of the wedding line, and a beat later, Addie is sneaking up on my other side.

I grin at her, noting the dark green dress that matches Nova’s. My cousin flashes a soft smile.

“You ready to hand your brother off?” she asks.

“Were you? ”

“There was nothing to hand off when Maddox got married. He’d been Braxton’s since they were kids.”

“I guess it’s the same for me,” I admit, recalling the first time I caught Oliver staring at Avery back before I knew girls and guys could even like each other like that. “Our brothers seemed to have things figured out long before we did.”

She laughs brightly and steals a glance back at where Cooper’s lined up waiting for her.

“I had a disadvantage. My husband was completely off-limits until I was an adult.”

“Was he worth the wait?”

Bringing her crystal-blue stare back to me, she squeezes my arm. “The best things are always worth waiting for, Jamie.”

“Okay, it’s time. Everyone get in line with your partners. Wait for my signal and keep your pace slow. Don’t rush,” the planner demands, strolling past me to fuss with Noah again.

I think a piece of him died being shoved into a pink suit. Even if it’s a nice shade and not anything over-the-top, he’d have preferred black like his soul. I don’t want to know what Tinsley had to do to get him dressed this morning.

“Ready, Nova-Bug?” I ask, offering her my arm.

She takes it eagerly, her grin toothy and bright. “Ready, Uncle J.”

We’re the first to go, and I guide Nova the first few steps before she grows more comfortable with the attention that falls on us. I wink at my uncle Oakley when he gives me a thumbs-up and waves at Nova.

Dad’s sitting in the front row beside Mom and across the aisle from Avery’s mom. The tissues in Mom’s hand are crumpled as she wipes beneath her eyes and puts a hand on her heart. The pride and happiness in her watery gaze is enough to have me looking away and blinking up at the sky.

Only when I’m nearly in front of my brother do I look straight ahead again. I almost wish I didn’t when the glassy look in my brother’s eyes threatens to ruin me .

Releasing Nova, I let her have him first. She runs right into his chest and clings onto him with a strength that doesn’t seem natural for such a tiny thing. Oliver holds her even tighter and kisses the side of her head over and over again.

“Love you, peanut,” he breathes out.

“I love you too, Ollie.”

I look away from them long enough to catch a tear falling from my dad’s eye. Chomping down on my tongue to keep from cursing, I face forward again before I have a complete breakdown.

My brother’s waiting gaze doesn’t help at all.

I wait for Nova to step to the side and then yank him into my arms. He slaps my back and squeezes tight as my shoulders shake.

It’s a bomb of emotions going off in my chest.

“I’m so proud of you, Oliver. So fucking happy. You got the girl after all.”

“I got more than one.”

“That little girl adores you.”

Pulling back, Oliver keeps his hands on my arms and drops his voice nice and low. “There’s another baby on the way, J.”

I laugh, a fierce wave of happiness slamming into me as the news settles. “Of course there is.”

He smiles and pats my arm as we quickly collect ourselves. Maddox and Braxton are close now, and I take my spot beside my brother before I delay anything.

Cooper and Adalyn are next, then Noah and Tinsley. The final groomsman and bridesmaid to make their way down are Easton and Amelia, the youngest of the entire group.

They’re also the only two people in our friend group that can’t stand each other. Amelia is Cooper’s seventeen-year-old sister, and she’s, well, she’s Easton’s female equivalent.

I thought the whole sassy behaviour and winding up in trouble was a phase, but it’s been four years since she started acting out, and it’s only gotten worse .

Her dark green dress has been hemmed shorter than the rest of the bridesmaids and looks like she stapled tulle onto it . . .

The music changes, and everyone stands, their attention zeroing in on where my sister-in-law comes into view. I swallow the emotion in my throat and peek at my brother.

His awestruck expression only grows in intensity when he whispers, “Fuck me.”

Avery is so focused on him that for a moment, I worry she’ll trip on her long dress and fall. It’s like their eyes have become so locked that even if the world were burning, they couldn’t look to see.

A sharp sensation tries to dig through my happy haze. The reminder that when I’m in my brother’s shoes, my bride won’t love me in the way I’m witnessing right now. I won’t have the weight of my family’s support and approval like Oliver does with Avery.

It will be a media circus, one designed for the benefit of everyone but me and Blakely.

With a jerk of my head, I toss those thoughts far away and focus on my brother, his beautiful wife and daughter, and the life he’s about to make with them.