Page 12 of The Wolf Prince’s Mate (Marked Beneath the Moon #2)

twelve

NOVA

Twenty minutes after I left, I was sitting on the far end of the garden with Sydney. She hadn’t asked me for details about anything. I knew she’d wait until I decided to share what was on my mind.

Syd hummed as she slowly pruned leaves and branches off some kind of fruit tree. I sat on a plastic tarp she had pulled off a few veggies, with my head tipped back toward the sun.

We both heard Aspen’s footsteps as she approached, but neither of us called out to her.

She plopped down next to me on the tarp. Both of our asses would be wet when we got up, but it was what it was.

“You look cold,” Aspen remarked.

“Bet you’ve never seen this many goosebumps before, huh? Must be nice to have a strong wolf,” I drawled.

“Your wolf is strong in her own way.”

“So strong that even Clay’s insane, bloodthirsty wolf didn’t want to kill her.”

“That’s not why he left you alive,” Syd countered.

“He thinks it is.”

“I know insane wolves better than most people, and I think he’s wrong,” she said firmly.

“Why do you think he didn’t kill her?” Aspen asked.

“If Clay’s wolf was as insane as he says, the wolf would’ve broken out a long time ago. But he lets himself be subdued. That suggests he can respond to reason. Every rogue wolf I’ve met is mindless.”

“That’s why the guys call him insane, not rogue. It’s why Clay isn’t trapped in his mind, too,” Aspen countered.

“Right. But he chose not to kill Nova, probably because he knew his human was attached to her in some way. I would guess that if the Savages really thought about it, they could come up with more times where he’s made choices not to kill them, too,” Sydney said.

“So you think he left me alive because his human thinks of me as a friend?” I checked.

Sydney looked back at me, lifting her eyebrow. “A friend?”

I reddened. “Yes, Syd.”

“Hmm. It’s an idea.” Aspen didn’t sound particularly convinced. “But Enzo was legitimately afraid for my life, so I’m not sure.”

I made a face. “It doesn’t matter. Clay’s not going to mate with me, and I have to pick a mate.”

Aspen scowled. “You don’t have to mate with someone just to help Hunter keep his shit together. His wolf is his problem.” Her gaze grew distant for a moment before her expression cleared. “Something came up, and Enzo needs me. Rain check on the rest of this conversation?”

I waved a hand. “No worries. My problems will still be here when you’re done.”

Aspen gave me a small smile before she got up and jogged back toward the Lodge.

Syd and I were both quiet for a few minutes before I spoke up again, curiosity driving my question.

“What does it feel like when you’re with Fletcher?”

She sighed happily. “Home.”

I’d never felt that kind of comfort with anyone. Including my own family. What would it be like to have a relationship like that?

I had no idea.

Or rather, I only had a tiny smidgen of one. Because the way I had felt when Clay took care of me last night couldn’t have been all that far from the home feeling. Could it?

But Clay wasn’t an option.

He wasn’t going to take a mate, and I’d screw up his relationship with his brother if I agreed to his proposal. So, no. Not an option.

“Have any of your meetings felt like that?” she asked.

“No.”

“What about Hunter?”

I snorted.

She laughed. “Clay?”

“Nah.”

“You hesitated.” She turned toward me, the base of her pruning shears resting against her hip. “Do you have feelings for him?”

“No. We’re just friends.”

“Friends can become more,” she reminded me.

“And people you only sort of like can eventually become home. That worked for Aspen,” I pointed out.

“True. Maybe you don’t need to look as far as you think.” She nodded over my shoulder. I looked back, at Charlie. “He stayed up longer than Hunter did after they brought you back here. I think he took your injuries personally.”

“So I should have a meeting with him? I don’t even know if he’s single.”

“I think you should start calling them what they are, and consider dating the people you already like and trust.” She held up two fingers. “Clay, and Charlie.”

“Clay’s not an option.”

“Then your decision is a pretty easy one. Mate with Charlie, or tell Hunter it’s his turn to start dating people.” She winked at me, then turned back to her bush. “You’re overthinking it. It shouldn’t be this complicated. I think we both know why you’re having such a hard time with it.”

“Please, enlighten me.”

“You like Clay. He likes you. Hunter complicates it. So uncomplicate it.”

“You want me to kill Hunter?”

She snorted. “No. Just tell him and his wolf to go fuck themselves. I’m surprised you haven’t done that already.”

I had, in the beginning. But it hadn’t worked, and with him being Clay’s brother, it genuinely wasn’t as easy as she wanted to think.

“I would rather lose Clay and spend my life alone than destroy his and Hunter’s relationship,” I admitted.

It hurt to say it aloud. I didn’t want to spend my life alone.

“Then tell Hunter that.”

She had a point.

Until I talked to Hunter, nothing was ever going to be resolved.

“Alright, fine.”

“See if he managed to break into that phone yet, while you’re at it,” Sydney called after me.

I grimaced at the reminder of what had happened in my car, and on that mountain.

A shadow of a memory started to come back, but I pushed it away. The emotions that came with it didn’t fade, though.

Terror.

Pain.

Hopelessness.

I let out a shaky breath as I caught up to Charlie. “Did you hear all that?”

“Yup.”

I grimaced. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. For the record, I don’t have a mate, but I prefer men.”

Right.

That would’ve been why Hunter was comfortable putting him in charge of my guard rotation. I should’ve put that together sooner.

My grimace deepened. “Do you happen to have any idea about what I should do?”

“I think there are a lot of things you can try, but no matter what you choose, Clay and Hunter are going to have to face each other.”

I sighed. “I need a way to avoid it all. I don’t want to be the reason they’re fighting.”

“At this point, that seems like a pipe dream.”

He wasn’t wrong, even though I wanted him to be.

“I could always just leave.”

“Nova, we both know that they would chase you. Hunter’s wolf would force him to do it, and Clay would want to.”

Which was just lovely.

What a freaking mess.

I knocked on the door to Hunter’s office once.

Then again.

Finally, I called out, “If you don’t open the door, I’m going to break in.”

I heard footsteps, and the door finally opened. A scruffy, exhausted-looking Hunter pulled the door open and gestured to the chair I’d taken the last time I was there.

That felt like a lifetime ago.

“Have you gotten into the phone yet?” I asked, taking the chair and pulling my knees to my chest.

“No. I don’t know who that fucker is, but I’m going to find out. There must be people behind him, protecting him. We’ll find them.”

I grimaced.

That didn’t make me feel safe. Not even a little.

“We need to talk,” I said.

“About my brother?” Hunter’s voice was flat.

I ran a hand through my hair, shoving it out of my face. It was a tangled mess. Clay hadn’t thought about untangling it, and I definitely hadn’t. “Kind of. Not really. I don’t know. Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get between you two, but it seems like that happened anyway. At this point, I don’t know what to do.”

I continued, “I’m not attracted to any of the guys I’ve been meeting with. It would feel like a lie to mate with one of them, and I can’t do that to someone. I can’t do it to myself, either. Clay and I might be more than friends, but we really haven’t been together since heat. He seems to want more. I’m sincerely trying not to hurt anyone here, but I don’t know how to make that happen.”

Hunter let out a slow breath, his jaw clenched. “What do you want, Nova?”

The question caught me off-guard.

I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.

Physically, I wanted Clay. Maybe emotionally, too. Just because he was fun to be around.

But… what else did I want?

The answer hit me like a freight train, and my eyes stung.

“I just want to feel safe and settled. Like I have a home. A family. Everything’s been so up in the air for so long.” I wiped my eyes, though no tears had escaped yet. “I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of not being wanted. I’m tired of being afraid. I’m just… tired.”

Hunter didn’t answer right away.

He just studied me. Stared at me. I wasn’t a fan of the feeling.

I wiped my eyes again, and caught two tiny tears before they could fall.

I was not crying in front of that big, emotionless bastard.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

The words stopped my emotions in their tracks.

He was apologizing? Again?

“I was so focused on my wolf when we met that I didn’t consider that your entire life had just changed. I should’ve. I’m sorry I didn’t. And I’m sorry that my security team was such a mess that it put your life at risk. Clay was right, I don’t know you. He does. If you two want to do the friends with benefits thing, I will figure out a way to make my wolf okay with it.”

I stared at Hunter.

Was he serious?

His wolf flashed in his eyes, and didn’t take over.

He was serious.

Holy shit.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it,” I said, my heart beating faster.

He slid a manila folder across the desk. “Consider this an apology.”

“If there’s money in here,” I started to warn him, but he shook his head.

“It’s not money. Just take it.”

I wanted to open it before I agreed, but someone knocked, then swung the door open. A guy I vaguely recognized from one of my meetings peered inside. “We’re on to something with the encryption.”

Hunter stood, so I did too.

“If I don’t want it,” I began, but he chuckled.

“You’ll want it. If you don’t, swallow your pride and accept it anyway. Stay in here as long as you want.”

He strode out of the room, leaving me alone in his office. Part of me wanted to snoop around, to see if I could find anything to tell me more about who Hunter was, but I ignored it.

I didn’t need to know who he was.

We were finally done.

It seemed like it, anyway.

And fuck, I hoped that was true.

Rather than leaving right away, I opened the folder.

And stared down at the papers inside.

And cried.

This time, I didn’t even try to stop the tears.