Page 11 of The Wolf Prince’s Mate (Marked Beneath the Moon #2)

eleven

NOVA

I didn’t feel disoriented when I woke up in Clay’s bed. I just felt comfortable.

Which was odd, because I had never been in his house before. I had known it was separate from the Lodge, and I’d known the general location, but he’d never invited me over.

At least he wasn’t in bed with me when I got up.

I could vaguely remember him saying something about sleeping on the couch, so I peeked up out of the blankets. The bedroom door was closed, blocking my view of wherever he was.

Damn.

I lifted my hand to rub the grit from my eyes, wincing when I picked the wrong arm and ended up bumping my broken one. It was healing, but the healing seemed slower than usual. I definitely hadn’t eaten enough while my wolf was hiding in that bush.

And while it did sound appealing to disappear back inside her so I could get away from my problems, I knew Clay wouldn’t let me. He’d drag my ass back into that shower and use the water to force me back into my skin.

So I was just going to have to deal with the dark shit I’d been through.

The smell of bacon cooking made my stomach rumble and my nose twitch.

I was going to have to face Clay.

It wasn’t as intimidating as I expected. I’d been exhausted when he helped me in the shower, but I remembered it vividly.

He had admitted how attracted he was to me. He’d suggested we become friends with benefits. There hadn’t been an expiration date tagged on, but he could never do the mate bond thing, because of his wolf.

And I had promised Hunter I wouldn’t go there again.

Not that I owed Hunter anything. I didn’t.

But Clay was my friend, and I wasn’t going to destroy his relationship with his brother by agreeing to something that could make Hunter’s wolf despise him indefinitely. A mate bond was the only way to free Hunter, and I couldn’t leave him trapped just so I could screw his brother.

So… I was going to have to turn Clay down.

That sucked.

A lot.

I liked him and had more chemistry with him than I did with any of the guys I was meeting with.

But I was just going to have to deal with it. Love and physical desire could grow over time.

Hopefully.

I padded across the room and opened the door.

“Hey, Gorgeous,” Clay called from the kitchen. “How’s the arm.”

“Hurts like hell.”

“At least it’s your left.”

That was a good point. If it was my right that I’d broken, I would have to take work off. And I’d have to wonder if I broke something badly enough to have a difficult transition back to work.

I made my way into the kitchen and set my good hand on the countertop, using it to boost myself up. He grabbed my hips and helped me.

“Careful.”

“You’re just hoping I’m ready to ink you in time for our appointment. When is it supposed to be? Tomorrow?”

He chuckled, returning to the eggs and bacon he was cooking. “Yesterday.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“You were out of it for a while. And in the bush a while after that.”

I grimaced. “I’d rather pretend none of it happened.”

“Alright. Consider it erased.”

I bit my lip. When my stomach growled, he handed me two strips of bacon from a plate beside me. I didn’t eat them right away, though.

“We have to talk, Savage.”

“That sounds ominous.”

I smacked him on the arm with my good hand, and he flashed me a grin.

“I’m serious. We have to talk about what you said in the shower.”

“We can erase that too, if you want.” Though his voice was upbeat, there was something in his eyes that told me he was hiding how he felt about it from me.

“I don’t want to erase it. I like the idea. In literally any other situation, I would agree immediately.”

“But what?”

“But if I don’t seal a mate bond, there’s a good chance Hunter’s wolf stays obsessed with me. And I’m not going to screw you, even platonically, when I know it’s going to cause problems with your brother. What you guys have is important, and I won’t risk being the one who breaks it.”

“That should be my decision,” Clay said. He sounded calm, but there was an edge to it. A darkness.

“I have a twin sister,” I said.

He blinked. “Since when?”

“Since forever. Everyone knows werewolves are always born in multiples.”

“Where is she?”

“Gone,” I said simply.

His forehead creased.

“She was born human. I wasn’t. We looked the same. Talked the same. Thought the same. But I had a wolf, and she didn’t. Our dad was different around us because of it. He babied her. Treated her like she was special to overcompensate for my wolf. She despised me for it. When he died, we were sixteen. She ran away to live with the humans. I couldn’t go with her. My dad was one of Silas’s artists, so I knew Silas was an Alpha, and went looking for him. He realized what I was. Warned me about heat before it started, luckily.”

“And your sister…”

“Gone.” The word was quieter the second time. “She sent me a postcard once. After we turned twenty-one. I brought up Silas before she left, so she sent it to him. It was a picture of her outside a tattoo shop, with a group of other people. She looked happier than I’d ever seen her.”

“What did it say?”

“I hope you’re happy, my friend.”

Clay’s forehead creased. “Is that a quote from something?”

“ Wicked . Yeah. We never saw the play. Dad was too broke, and we were too young when we lost him. But we knew all the songs by heart. I was always Elphaba, and she was always Galinda. Singing terrible duets was pretty much the only thing we shared.”

“Did you write back?”

“No. It was only two years ago, and my stalker had already started being a creep. I was worried he was watching me closely enough to follow a letter back to her.”

Clay nodded slowly. “You protected her.”

“She’s my sister,” I said simply.

“What’s her name?”

“Olive. Losing a sibling like that… it hurts, Clay. It really fucking hurts. And it never stops. You want to screw me now, but it’s not worth trading your relationship with Hunter. If it hurt me this badly to lose the sister I was never close with, I can’t imagine the pain you would feel losing Hunter. So no, you and I are not going to be friends with benefits.”

Clay let out a long breath. “Alright. That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, though. And friends let each other stay with them when they don’t feel safe in their homes.”

I finally took a bite of my bacon, averting my eyes. I didn’t want to be looking at him when I admitted the truth. “I can’t stay with you. I’ll be going into heat soon. I think the doctor gave me the pills that delay it, because it should’ve happened while I was in the bush.”

“What bush?”

I flashed him a questioning look, and when he winked at me, I snorted.

Right.

We’d erased it.

“You’ll spend heat with me,” he said.

“Did you ignore everything I just said?”

“No. I heard you. You’re going to pick a mate. But right now you’re stuck between multiple men, right? If you spend heat with one of them, it’ll force you to choose.”

“I need to choose. It’s time to get it over with. Plus, heat could help me feel the chemistry I’m lacking with them. Kody is looking like my best option, even though we don’t have that. You and I didn’t have it before heat, either.”

He scoffed. “Like hell we didn’t. We just ignored it.”

“I didn’t feel it,” I said stubbornly. “So maybe I’m just ignoring it with Kody, too.”

Clay’s nostrils flared. “Has he kissed you?”

“Yes.”

He clenched his jaw. I heard a growl he tried to stifle.

“If your wolf is going to do the claiming thing, this definitely isn’t happening.” I gestured to the entire house.

“He’s not,” Clay gritted out. “I just didn’t know you were dating, let alone making out with people. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to ask you about the friends with benefits thing for weeks.”

“But that can’t happen, and we’re just friends,” I pointed out. “We’re going to have to erase heat, too.”

He barked out a laugh. “That’s not possible.”

I didn’t need to ask why it wasn’t possible. I’d used my vibrator to take off the edge a few times since heat, and I hadn’t been able to stop myself from picturing Clay when I had.

The way he’d fucked me from behind, on the tile floor.

The way he ate me out while I sat on the countertop.

The way he pinned me to the bed and fucked me like a wild animal.

Yeah, I wasn’t going to be able to erase heat.

And I wasn’t going to be the one who questioned why he couldn’t either. If he was getting off to the memories, it was better for me not to know.

“Then I really don’t think we’re going to be able to do the roommate thing without your wolf trying to claim me.”

“We’ll be fine. He’s not like that.” There was an edge to Clay’s voice.

Someone knocked on the door before I could shut down the roommate thing completely. That was just a bad idea.

Clay’s nostrils flared. “It’s Kody.”

“Since we’re living together, I’m allowed to invite him in, right?” I called out.

“If you want my wolf to eat him for smelling him in my territory, sure,” he called back.

“Your wolf hasn’t eaten me yet,” I reminded him.

“I handled that for him.”

My face burned as I tugged the door open. Kody had his hands in his pockets on the doorstep, and there was darkness in his eyes that told me he heard what Clay had just said.

Great .

“He really did fix you,” Kody said.

“He threw my wolf in the shower so she would be forced to shift. He’s enough of an asshole that I know he’ll do it again if I try to retreat into her.”

“He’s brutal.”

“I guess.”

Kody studied me.

I leaned against the doorway, not sure what to say. I was wearing Clay’s shirt. I had just woken up in his bed. Clay had scrubbed dirt and blood off my bare body the night before, and he was currently in the process of making me breakfast.

My heart sank into my stomach.

I was being a bitch by leading Kody on. It wasn’t fair to him. “Let’s take a walk.”

He glanced at the doorway, as if waiting for Clay to protest.

I kind of wondered if he would.

But when I shut the door behind me, he didn’t call after me. He let me go.

I noticed Charlie from the corner of my eye, and waved at him. He nodded back. He’d been waiting outside for me. Back to guarding me.

“Alright,” Kody agreed.

We fell into step together, heading into the forest. If we walked back toward the Lodge, there would be too many listening ears.

“You have feelings for Clay,” Kody said, after a few minutes of silence.

“He’s just my friend,” I said honestly. “But there’s attraction there. A mate bond would force me to be loyal to my partner, but I don’t know if it would erase my connection with Clay.”

Kody nodded, not saying anything.

I didn’t push him for a response.

Emotional loyalty was just as important as physical, and I wasn’t sure I could promise that. And I sure as hell didn’t want to enter a mate bond with that knowledge.

“You and I would have to leave the pack if we mated,” Kody finally said. “I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing you interact with him.”

“I can’t leave the pack right now. Even with my stalker dead, there are other people out there who would take advantage of what I am if they could. I may never be able to leave.”

He nodded again. Slower.

“You deserve better than this,” I said honestly, stopping and turning toward him. “You deserve a mate who can commit to you. You don’t want me.”

He shouldn’t want me.

He was my best chance at a mate bond with the potential for eventual happiness, but I wasn’t his. He deserved more.

When he nodded again, I took his hand and squeezed it.

Then, I went back to Clay’s house.

Clay’s position was stiff as we ate together. Neither of us said another word.

When I was done, I quietly thanked him and slipped out of his house again.

I had no idea what I was going to do… but I couldn’t figure it out with Clay.