Page 139 of The Wedding

Even the honeymoon was arranged. They received final confirmation for their reservations in Europe, although Jamie was more inclined to fantasize about Hawaii. She finally went to her open-ended appointment at The Ruby Peacock and was fitted for new beach and lounge wear that could be used on the beaches of Hawaii or Italy.

By Thursday, she was excited, but still exhausted. Friday would be her only day of rest before Etta wanted to resume their kinky games on Saturday.

“If you had fun last time,” Monique said, after they discussed it at her house on Thursday afternoon, “then I’m sure you’ll have a good time tomorrow, too.” Monique happily sighed, stirring cream into her tea. “I’m rather jealous. I would love to do some role-playing, but there hasn’t been much of a mood for that lately.” She pointed to her stomach. “This girl is determined to make sure I’m queasy half my days. You caught me on a good day.”

Jamie could barely believe her eyes. Had a woman not having twins ever been so huge? Monique swore that her baby was average-sized,according to the doctor, but she was… huge. It was absurd! How did she walk? Barely. How did she sleep comfortably? She didn’t. Monique wasn’t due for another two months, yet she looked like she was about to give birth to the first-place watermelon at the state fair.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I tell myself it’ll be worth it. That’s what I tell myself, at least.”

“What else do you tell yourself?”

Monique took her time pouring Jamie some more tea in the garden. “That I’m going to be a great mother while being the wife of a busy billionaire and running a halfway-to-illegal business peddling flesh.”

“Good goals. You put me to shame.”

“You’re doing fine. I hear you’re Kathleen’s number one helper on her new project?”

“Yeah. Go figure. I’m a bit behind right now, though. People aren’t returning my calls, and Kathleen has been hard to get a hold of, anyway.” She was still in Vegas and ignoring Jamie.Probably on vacation with the partner. Can’t blame her for ignoring my existence.Kathleen was the type of woman to block out the whole world around her if it meant taking a break with her romantic partner. “Anyway, that’s one reason Etta wanted to do a role-play again. It would be our last chance before the wedding and all the craziness that comes with that.”

“I hear you.” Monique was already halfway through a stack of crackers. “Granted, Helen and I were playing games up until the wedding, but we’re like that 24/7. You and Etta are different. You have to plan it.”

“Makes it a bit anticipatory, doesn’t it?”

Monique grinned. “I bet. Etta plays good Domme games when she puts her mind and body to it.” Her smile disappeared. “I mean…”

“No. It’s fine.” Surprisingly, it really was fine. Jamie was getting used to being surrounded by Etta’s ex-girlfriends wherever she turned.If it wouldn’t be so weird, I wouldn’t mindhearing a story or two.Although Jamie had a feeling Etta wasn’t hardcore enough for Monique’s constant appetites. Her wife, Helen, always came off as the perfect lady, but even Jamie sensed the dominant undercurrent in the room when that woman was around. She was a very different kind of Top from Etta, that was for sure.If I were like Monique, I’d be melting around her, too.Jamie was not like Monique, however. She preferred to keep the kink to specific, sparsely spaced times. With a lot of warning. “I always get nervous, though. Last time she had me without underwear at a dinner with the Blakes.”

Monique’s eyes widened. “No.”

“Yup. I was the perfect wife in front of Francesca.”

“Is that why her tune has changed about you?”

“What tune?” Jamie’s ears perked up. “What’s this?”

“I was at the country club several days ago. She was telling some of her friends that she thought you might be a good match for Etta, after all. I thought I had wax buildup in my ears.”

“How about that?”

“Indeed. How about that.” Monique laughed. “Well, if you want my advice, of course, it would be to go with the flow and enjoy yourself. Trust Etta not to ask you to do anything totally out of this world. She has good judgment, even if she’s not the most social creature.”

“I always try to do that, but then I get hung up on the worst things. Like whether she is respecting me. I can’t help it. Sometimes she asks me to do things that make me feel....”

“Let me guess: then when you start getting into it, you can’t care about that anymore.” Monique turned her head. “I know how you feel. There’s a delicate balancing act between the private and the public. What you do in public reflects upon you and what your morals are. But if you feel natural doing it, who gives a shit? I do many things that people would say are hardly feminist. I don’t think about it like that. I’m enjoying my life with my wife, and we aren’t hurting anybody. If anything, our relationship – and love –is stronger because we express these things to one another. It’s not for everybody, though. A lifestyle wasn’t for Etta, which is why it didn’t work out between us. You’re different, though. You’re on the same wavelength as her, I think. That’s why you should take the role-plays as an opportunity to express anything you’re feeling in that vein. You don’t get many chances. If you spend your whole day not only distrusting your Domme but also feeling uneasy about your desires, then what good does that do? All that does is breed resentment. As long as you know your limits and your safe words, it’s good.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Jamie sighed. “It’s hard for me to let go, though. Even when I do let go, it’s not all the way. I’m still pretending in my head.”

“Well, you ended up in the world of kink because that’s what Etta asked of you. It’s not like you woke up one day with the realization that you wanted to seek it out. You know, like me.”

“That’s true. I only went along with it in the beginning because Etta paid me to. I was defensive about it back then, and I think some of that defensiveness has carried on to now. Deep down, I’m kinda scared that she’ll think less of me if I don’t act a little insubordinate.”

“Think less of you? If anything, she’s probably internally begging for you to give up more of yourself in those fleeting moments. I think you might be surprised at how much you do trust her if you, well, trust her.”

“She did say something along those lines when she instigated this whole thing.”

“Of course she would.” Monique rolled her eyes. “Well, my advice is to go along with it. Give it a try. Etta won’t steer you wrong. Now, show me a picture of this dress you got in Italy!”