Page 21 of The Truth about the Marquess (Whispers of the Ton #3)

I must do this.

Jane was trembling all over as the butler directed her to Lord Edenbridge’s drawing room. She had considered everything that Lady Guilford had said, had paced up and down the room, spent a fitful night tossing and turning, cried many tears and, in the end, found the resolve to do what she knew she must.

Though now that she was being shown into the drawing room, now that he was standing, rising to greet her with a warm smile on his handsome face, she felt her courage fail her.

“Jane.” Lord Edenbridge reached out, took her hand, and much to Jane’s surprise, brought it to his lips as he bowed over it. “How delighted I am to see you.”

“You appear to be in good spirits,” Jane answered, forcing a smile. “I am glad to see that. I know that you have been troubled with all that has just been revealed, and you have had much to consider.”

“I have, but I have discovered a new happiness,” he answered, gesturing for her to sit down, though he took a seat angled just beside her so that he might look into her eyes – a closeness which Jane found a little disconcerting, given all that she had to say. “I was going to come and call on you myself, in fact, though it seems that you have saved me the trouble!”

Jane swallowed thickly and tried to smile. The words were there for her to speak but they would not come and thus, silence filled the space between them for some minutes.

Then, Lord Edenbridge leaned a little closer and, putting his hand on top of hers, gazed back at her.

“You appear a little ill at ease, Jane. Are you quite all right?”

Nodding, Jane closed her eyes.

“I – I am well. It is only that there is something I wish to tell you.”

“Oh?”

His hand had not left hers and heat began to prickle up Jane’s arm, going straight to her heart, where a fluttering sensation had begun.

“I wanted to tell you that…” Closing her eyes to shut out the sight of him, Jane took in another steadying breath. “I wanted to tell you that I received your letter.”

Silence was her only response and, opening her eyes, Jane looked into the face of Lord Edenbridge, seeing him frown. She could say nothing more, watching as he searched her face, praying that somehow, understanding would come before she had to make any further explanations.

Then, Lord Edenbridge’s breath caught in a gasp, his eyes flared wide and he stared at her with shock rippling across his expression.

Jane dropped her head.

“It was you?” he breathed, his hand now tightening on hers rather than pulling away. “You are the one who has been writing to me, the one who responded at The London Chronicle?”

She could do nothing other than glance at him and give him the smallest of nods.

Lord Edenbridge rose suddenly, standing back from her, staring at her as though he had never seen her before, and a great and terrible fear rose up in Jane’s heart. He was going to be angry with her, upset and broken that she had kept such things from him, was he not? He might ask her to leave his house, might demand that she no longer be in his acquaintance, and all because she had not told him the truth.

“You wore peacock feathers in your mask,” he murmured, as Jane closed her eyes tightly, her fingers weaving together as she fought back against her fears. “You came to tell me about Miss Leverton and then were you not eager to say more?”

Tears burned behind Jane’s eyes.

“I wanted to tell you the truth of who I was,” she said, her voice rasping. “But then Lord Tertford came, and I could not continue.” Opening her eyes again, she blinked back against her tears again, trying to keep him in focus. “I am sorry that I did not tell you before, but I did not feel that it was necessary and, truth be told, I hesitated because I did not always want to admit to anyone else that I had employment. I know that you must be angry with me for hiding that part of myself from you–”

“Angry?” Lord Edenbridge interrupted her, sounding astonished as she nodded. “No, Jane, not in the least!” He hurried towards her now, bending down in front of her, covering her hands with his. “Jane, I am overjoyed!”

The fear that had held her shattered in an instant, her breath hitching as she tried to understand, astonished at the smile which was spreading wide across his face.

“You – you are?”

“Of course I am! I have wondered who this wise, kind creature might be, only to realize that the wise, kind lady that I already know, that I already call a dear friend, is the very same! I should have guessed, mayhap, that you were the writer at The London Chronicle, and your consideration of me and your gentle encouragements have been the only things to bolster my heart.”

A dear friend. There was a slight tinge of sadness now in Jane’s faint smile, realizing that though he was glad to know the truth, though he was happy to hear that she was the one that had been writing to, there was nothing more to their connection for him than that.

“I am relieved that you have accepted the truth so easily,” she told him, squeezing his fingers back gently. “Thank you for your understanding.”

“Thank you for all that you did for me.”

Jane let out a slightly broken laugh, looking away from him.

“Though I am sorry that it did not bring you success.”

There came a momentary pause, only for Lord Edenbridge to lean a fraction closer, forcing her gaze back to him simply by his nearness.

“Oh, but I think that it did.” Jane did not know what he meant. The look in his eyes made her feel as though she had stepped out of a cold rain into a warm room where the fire burned hot in the grate. When a slow, small smile began to cross his lips, Jane shivered, though it was not from fear, but rather from a tiny flare of hope which began to burn in her heart. “You have made me feel a good many things of late, Jane.” Lord Edenbridge, perhaps seeing that she was not about to speak aloud, rose to his feet, only to then come and sit directly beside her. “But the truth is, I have kept all of those emotions back from myself because I know that you have no interest in pursuing any sort of closer connection with me.”

Her breath hitched, her eyes widening.

“I do not… how do you know such a thing?”

“Because I confess that I overheard you speaking to your friend as regards your late husband,” he told her, making Jane’s eyes squeeze closed. “I have never pressed you to tell me of all that you suffered, and I never would, but from what I heard, it seems to me as though he was not a kind gentleman.”

Jane swallowed hard, tears beginning to threaten all over again.

“He was the most cruel man,” she answered, looking back at him again. “I cannot tell you of the extent of it all. But society did not know him as that, my own father, I am sure, did not know of all that he was… of all that he could be.”

“And you are afraid that, should you trust another gentleman, you might well find yourself caught in the same situation?”

With a small sigh, Jane’s shoulders rounded as she nodded.

“Yes. I think that is so.”

Her eyes caught his, watching him as he took in a breath, his dark brown eyes searching, filled with questions that she did not know how to answer.

Then, he spoke.

“Even with me?”

Jane’s heart tumbled over in her chest, her breathing coming in quick gasps as she saw, for the first time, the hope that flared in his expression and which she too felt in her heart. She did not know what to say, could find no words to express the rushing emotions she felt… and yet, the answer was there.

“Perhaps I should not have asked you.” Lord Edenbridge closed his eyes and then dropped his head, giving it a small shake. “Forgive me, I–”

“I have been afraid.” He lifted his head. “I have been afraid of what you might be hiding,” she continued, her words beginning to tumble now, one over the other as she finally found the strength to speak. “I have wrestled with it, telling myself that I am contented to let you pursue others and ignoring the wound that your interest in Lady Henrietta and Miss Leverton created.” Her voice was shaking but she grasped his hand, desperate now for him to see, to understand. “Louisa told me that you were not like my husband was and, as I have considered it, the more I have realized that my fear is what has taken me captive, and held me back from telling you the truth of my feelings.”

Lord Edenbridge’s fingers tightened around hers.

“I can understand your fear, Jane.” He leaned a fraction closer. “It may only be words, but I want to assure you that I am just as you see me. There may be times when I grow frustrated and upset – as I believe you have already seen when we first met, in fact – but I have never caused injury to another because of it. My words can be sharp at times, but they would never knowingly cause injury, especially not to someone I loved.”

Jane gasped and Lord Edenbridge did the same, leaving them both staring at each other, wide-eyed. She could not quite believe what she had heard and, evidently, Lord Edenbridge could not quite believe what he had said. Dare she trust that his words were true? Dare she believe that he spoke the truth of his heart?

“Goodness.” Lord Edenbridge began to chuckle, and Jane’s lips curved upwards, her heart burning with hope, with excitement, and with love. “I had not put words to what I felt, for it has been a fairly new consideration, but it seems now, Jane, that my heart has betrayed me to you.” Lifting his hand, he touched her cheek, then settled it to her shoulder. “I think all that I feel means that I am in love with you, my dear.”

Jane’s eyes filled with tears, though she smiled through them, her heart overflowing now with all that she felt. It was as though, hearing him speak those words, she had finally permitted herself to admit all that she felt.

“Then, Edenbridge, I must also confess that I believe I am in love with you. I have never felt such a strength, such a depth of feeling before, but the truth is, I cannot imagine being separated from you. I know that if you had begun to court another, my heart would have been torn with a pain far greater than anything I have ever felt before.”

“Then I am glad that they both stepped away from me and into the arms of others,” he answered, leaning a little closer still. “For it meant that I could see exactly who it was my heart longed for.” His fingers brushed her neck and Jane shivered in delight. “I will not push you into any sort of commitment, Jane. I want you to be able to trust me fully, to know me as well as you know yourself.”

“I do trust you,” she said, quickly, “it was the fear from my past lurching forward, attempting to take hold of the happiness I now feel, stealing it away from me.” Pressing her lips together for a moment, she took a deep breath and then smiled. “Will you court me, Edenbridge?”

Lord Edenbridge’s expression lit with surprise, only for him to laugh gently as he moved closer, lowering his head.

“I should be delighted to, Jane.”

She realized that he was not about to close the distance between them and kiss her, as it was clear that he wanted to do. The respect he showed her, the understanding in his actions, and his patience made her heart burn with love for him all the more. With a momentary pause to catch her breath, Jane leaned forward and settled her lips to his. After a moment of shocked stillness, he relaxed, his lips moving softly against hers.

It was the first time she had kissed someone who loved her, the first time she had felt safe and secure in an embrace. Melting into his arms, Jane let her arms wrap around his neck as he held her tight, trusting that he would never let her go.

I am so glad Jane was able to overcome her fear of men and found love!