Page 6
“SWEET MARY,” Kadar swore softly as he stabbed the needle viciously through the soft muslin.
“You will not be able to wear this gown. It’s stained with the blood of a thousand pinpricks.”
“It’s brown.” Selene bent to stir the fire in the hearth before settling back on her stool.
“The blood will hardly show at all.”
He scowled at her.
“I have no liking for this task. Why must we sew in the evening as well? I might survive if I could see what I was doing.”
“The fire gives adequate light. We’ve only completed one gown. I need another.”
His gaze suddenly lifted from the cloth.
“Do you? I think not.”
“Why else would I go to this bother? Do you think I like hearing you curse and moan over a little pinprick?”
“A little pinprick? My fingers are—” He paused.
“Very clever. You almost distracted me.” He set aside the cloth and linked his arms around his knees.
“You don’t need another gown. You wish to keep me with you.”
“Nonsense. Your vanity is out of all bounds.”
He looked at her, waiting.
“Why should I wish to keep you with me? You curse and moan and I must show you stitches that a babe would learn in the cradle.”
“You’re trying to annoy me.” He smiled.
“But I would never be so ungallant as to show anger to my savior.”
“Savior? I don’t know what you mean.”
“We’ve never talked about it, but you know. You’ve always been my savior.” His gaze shifted to the flames.
“It’s so easy to walk the dark path. Easy and exciting. And once you’ve tried it, you always want to go back. It’s like the first scent of hashish. You want more.”
“But you didn’t want more. You left here.”
“Because I didn’t want to be like Nasim. I could see myself being drawn deeper and deeper. . . . Life has never treated me with any particular kindness, and I liked the idea of the power Sinan and Nasim wielded.”
“Nasim is evil.”
“Yes, but then, so am I. Most men have a wicked streak.”
“You’re not evil. You may be witless and unfair, but you’re not like him.”
“Part of me is. But I can control it, if I have reason to fight him.” His gaze shifted from the fire to stare directly into her eyes.
“You give me reason, Selene.”
His dark hair shimmered in the firelight, and his eyes .
. .
Dear God, she was melting.
She wanted to reach out and touch him.
She would not be drawn like this.
She would not be hurt again.
She tore her gaze away.
“Then find another reason. I won’t be responsible for your virtue or lack of it.”
“You can’t help yourself.” He smiled.
“Why else am I here suffering grievous wounds? You don’t trust me enough to let me out of your sight.”
“I can help myself. I just choose to—Haroun and I have no one else in this horrible place. It’s only sensible to—Don’t laugh at me.” She threw the gown at his head.
“Ouch.” He pulled the gown from around his face and gingerly touched the scratch on his cheek.
“You could have removed the pins.”
“Go away. Go to that hideous old man and walk your dark path. What do I care? I don’t want to see you—”
He was heading for the door.
Panic raced through her.
“Wait.” She struggled for words.
“You cannot leave with this gown half finished. I won’t—”
“Shh.” He smiled at her, his warm, beautiful smile.
“I’m not going to Nasim. I’m going to take a walk in the courtyard. I’ll return before the hour has gone.”
She tried to hide her relief.
“It’s nothing to me where you go.”
“My God, you’re stubborn.” He sighed.
“Sometimes I wish you were not quite as strong as you are. It would make my lot much easier.”
She didn’t feel strong.
She was shaken. He had never spoken to her of his past and his struggles before.
Seeing beyond that cool, mocking facade made him seem infinitely closer.
She didn’t want him closer.
“If you’re going for a walk, do it.” She snatched up the gown again and began to stitch.
“Don’t come back tonight. I won’t have you waking me up.”
The night was clear and cool, and a full moon cast a silver luminescence on the gray stones of the courtyard.
It was the kind of night Kadar had hated when he had been in training here.
It was difficult to move with the deadly invisibility Nasim required on such an evening, and failure was met with swift and brutal punishment.
But he had learned; moonlight merely meant adjustments, distractions, and a—
“So she released you from woman’s duties?”
Kadar turned to see Nasim coming toward him.
“I released myself.” He wasn’t surprised Nasim knew what transpired behind a closed chamber door.
Nasim made it his business to be aware of everything that happened.
“I felt in need of air.”
“Why do you let her dishonor you in this way?”
“To learn a new skill is never a dishonor. It may be useful later.”
“You wish to make more gowns for women?” Nasim asked contemptuously as he fell into step with him.
“No, but sewing a gown requires the same skill as stitching a wound.” He glanced at Nasim.
“What do you want?”
“Perhaps I also need air.”
“Then you would go to the battlements, as you usually do. I’d wager you saw me down here and decided to join me. Why?”
“I feel you’re wasting my time,” he said bluntly.
“You’re here to do me service and you spend your time with that woman, stitching.”
“We’ll discuss service when your messenger arrives. Have you heard from him?”
“No, but we’ll discuss service now. I want your promise.”
Kadar shook his head.
“You’ll give me the service you promised Sinan, and for the same reason.” Nasim smiled maliciously.
“If you don’t, you’ll find your friends in Scotland most uncomfortable. I’ll have to decide whether to raze their castle myself or send the Knights Templar to do it for me. Do you doubt I’d do either?”
“No.”
“Then give me your word.”
“You always told me lies were the weapon of a clever man.”
“But it’s one lesson you never learned. You don’t break your word, and I want that chain on you. Give me your word or I’ll send Balkir and a force to Montdhu at dawn.”
The bastard meant it.
He had no choice. “Very well, you have my promise to do one task for you.”
“I thought you’d agree.” He smiled.
“And I’ve thought of a useful and amusing way for you to serve me while we wait.”
“I promised only one service.”
“Oh, I believe you’ll accommodate me in this.” He gazed up at the sky.
“It’s a full moon tonight, a good sign. The soothsayers say a full moon brings fertile earth and good crops.”
“You don’t care about good crops. You make tribute.”
“True. But I’ve become very interested in fertility of late. It comes as a surprise to me.” His gaze remained on the night sky.
“Sinan wished you to follow him as master here, you know. We discussed it often. I approved his plan. It would be stimulating to control you as I did Sinan. It would only take a word from me and you’d slide into your place as head of the assassins.”
“It holds no interest for me. It’s too limiting.”
“You lie. But you’re stubborn. You could yet go your own way.”
“You may count on it.”
“I count on nothing that doesn’t please me. Still, I must take precautions. Men do die.”
“No one should know that better than you.”
Nasim chuckled.
“Yes, I’ve made a study of death. A master should be able to pass such knowledge on to one worthy. I’ve found no such acolyte but you, Kadar.” His smile faded.
“So I’ve decided you shall provide me with another.”
“And how am I to do that?” he asked warily.
“The woman.” Nasim frowned.
“Though she’s displeased me by yoking you to needle and thread. It’s an insult to me.”
“It has nothing to do with you. There’s no connection.”
“Everything you do is connected to me. Because I choose it to be so.” He paused.
“That’s why you will bring the woman to the tower every night for the next two weeks.”
Kadar went still.
“I told you that she was ordinary, beneath you.”
“She must be very ordinary, since you sleep on the floor instead of in her bed.”
“She doesn’t interest me.”
“She interests me. She’s bold, and it’s always exciting to break the bold ones.” He smiled.
“But I fear you must develop interest in her. It’s you who will couple with her.”
“Why?”
“I want a child by her. Your child.”
Kadar inhaled sharply.
“What madness is this?”
“I cannot sire children. I’ve tried several bitches, but nothing has come of it.” He lifted his chin.
“It has nothing to do with my manhood. I’ve decided that, when a man is given special powers to wield, Allah sometimes does not see fit to let him perform as other men. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I want. If I cannot have you to mold, I’ll take a substitute.”
“I’ve no desire to get her with child.”
“Ah, yes, she has no interest for you. Still, it will happen.”
Nasim had made up his mind, Kadar realized with frustration, and it was never any use to argue with him when he had made a decision.
He would have to try to work around it.
“If you wish me to sire a babe, send a whore to the tower room. At least she would have the skill to amuse me.”
“Our whores are lacking in spirit. The foreign woman has the boldness I want.”
“You detest her boldness.”
“In a woman, not in a child she would birth.”
He tried another tactic.
“It could be a female child. What would you do then?”
“Kill it. I have no use for bitches. But you would not father females, Kadar. We are too much alike.”
“I don’t want this woman.”
“You will. Remember the tower room, Kadar?”
Kadar’s gaze went to the tower.
Yes, he remembered it.
The sweet smell of hashish, naked bodies on silk cushions, the ultimate in acts of debauchery.
He felt himself hardening, thickening at the memory.
“You see?” Nasim smiled maliciously.
“It will happen.”
That was what he feared.
“And what will happen if I refuse?”
“Then she will still bear a child, but it will be by one of my men who is far less worthy. In fact, I may have to set a different man between her thighs every night and let fate decide who will father it. Do you think your Lord Ware would take her back after a month of such treatment?”
“What if she’s not fertile? Am I to delay going on your mission to couple with a mere woman?”
Nasim’s smile disappeared.
“Nothing will be permitted to delay you. When the message comes, you will go. I’ve waited too long already.” He turned and stalked across the courtyard.
“The tower. Tomorrow, at nightfall.”
Kadar watched him until he disappeared into the castle.
God’s blood, Nasim couldn’t have chosen to put him in a worse quandary.
Selene was striving to distance herself from him, and he was to go to her and say they must couple until a child was conceived?
She would throw more than a gown at him.
Dammit, and just when he had begun to see slight signs of softening in her.
But there was no hint of softness in him at the moment; he was rock hard, and a dark excitement was beginning to build.
It was exactly the response Nasim wanted.
But he wished he could be as sure of Nasim’s motives as he was of his manipulations.
Did he really want an acolyte of Kadar’s blood, or did he want to pull Kadar deeper into the dark morass?
In the past, sexual excess had been offered as a stimulus and a reward, and Kadar had reveled in it.
Nasim would remember that fact as he remembered everything else.
It was a potent weapon he would not hesitate to wield.
Kadar’s gaze lifted again to the tower.
The tower. Tomorrow, at nightfall.
“I’ll not do it.” Selene jumped to her feet, stung.
“I won’t be a slave and do that man’s bidding. I’ll never be a slave again.”
“I’ve told you the consequences of refusing. You’ll admit I’m the least offensive of the alternatives.” Kadar grimaced.
“Or maybe you won’t. But I swear this is not by my design.”
She knew it was not.
Kadar might attempt seduction, but he would never force her to his bed.
The realization did nothing to abate her anger.
“He expects me to bear your child and then hand it over to him? Is he mad to believe I’d do such a thing?“
“He would take it—if it was a boy. If it was a girl, he would kill it.”
Shock surged through her.
“You’re so calm. You accept this.”
He shook his head.
“I’m calm because I would never accept it. It will not happen. No child of mine will ever be subject to Nasim’s will.”
A little of her anger ebbed away.
“Then how will we prevent it?”
“I don’t have the answer yet. We may not have to prevent it. Two weeks isn’t a long time. Many women do not get with child immediately.”
“It took Thea years.” Another wave of anger hit her.
“It makes no sense. He’s an old man. He may not even live to raise a child.”
“The child may not really be his aim.”
“What do you mean?”
He shrugged.
“He knows the tower will bring back memories of the old life. He knows that I don’t treat you as other women. If he forces me to treat you in that manner in that chamber, it will be a victory for him. He may think it will draw me further along the dark path.”
“Dear God, he’s a devil,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“And I’m to be the pawn in this battle between you.” Her eyes blazed at him.
“I won’t be a pawn. I won’t do this.”
“Very well. Then at nightfall tomorrow, we won’t go to the tower.”
“And what will happen?”
“He’ll send a man to get you and I’ll kill him. He’ll send two and I’ll kill them too.” He added quietly, “But I cannot fight all of them, Selene. Eventually they will kill me.”
“Nasim wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Perhaps they’d not mean to kill me, but I’m very good. They’d have to kill me to take you against your will.”
He meant it.
“No, you should let them take me. Coupling is nothing. It would bring them no victory.”
“Perhaps not.” He added simply, “But I could not bear it.”
And he would die trying to prevent it, she realized in agony.
“Is there no way to stop this? What if we go to the tower room and do nothing?”
He shook his head.
“There’s a peephole in the chamber next door that allows Nasim to observe when he wishes.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve watched too. Many times. Sometimes watching is exciting.”
Heat stung her cheeks as she envisioned Kadar’s gaze on naked, writhing—“You’re as depraved as that wicked old man,” she said tartly.
“In this, I may have been more depraved. That’s why he wants to lure me back to the sport.”
“Sport? With women as prey?”
He swore softly, “What do you wish me to say? Yes, I was hunter and women were prey. But I’ve never treated you as prey.”
“But Nasim hopes you will.”
“Of course, and I won’t lie to you. I don’t know how I’ll use you if you agree to Nasim’s demand. It’s too easy to lose control in the tower room.”
“And satisfy that hideous man?”
“And satisfy myself. I probably wouldn’t be aware of Nasim or anyone else.” He fell to his knees and curled up on his pallet on the floor.
“There’s no value in talking any more. I’ve given you your choice. Think about it and give me your decision in the morning.”
Choice?
What choice? Kadar’s death or letting him have her body.
She slipped into bed, pulled her gown over her head, and tossed it on the floor.
Not only letting him have her body but having that loathsome old man watching them .
. .
Her gaze went to Kadar on the hearth.
His eyes were closed, but he was not asleep.
She always knew when slumber took him from her.
Took him from her.
The thought had come out of nowhere.
No one could take what was not hers, and she had rejected him.
Thinking of Kadar in that manner was merely habit.
They were not joined.
She belonged only to herself, and so did he.
But if she went to the tower room, they would be joined in body if not in spirit.
He would enter her as he did on that last night at Montdhu.
He would touch her and ignite that odd, searing excitement.
But that excitement had not lasted long, and when he had left her body she was still Selene.
The world had not changed because they had coupled.
But the world could change if Kadar was killed because she would not couple with him.
If it meant so little, why was she refusing?
Because she feared getting closer to him in any manner, feared that the bond she had broken would mend itself.
Well, then she would have to reinforce the barriers she had raised, because she could not face the alternative.
“Kadar.”
“Yes.”
“I will go with you to the tower room.”
She saw his muscles stiffen, but he made no response.
“But it must stop as soon as we see a way out.”
“What if you decide you don’t want it to stop?”
“I won’t do that.”
He turned his back to her.
“Tell me that after a week in the tower room.”
The smell was sweet, musky, vaguely familiar, and coming from the tower room.
Selene paused before she reached the top step.
“What is that scent?”
“Hashish. Do you know what it is?”
“It smells . . . familiar.”
“It should. Nicholas offered me hashish when I was at the House of Silk. He smoked it on occasion. It’s said to relax and heighten sensation.”
“Did you take it?”
“No, I was there to buy you. I had to keep my wits, and I knew what hashish could do to a man.” He stopped before the heavy oak door.
“Nasim keeps it burning in a copper brazier here. You cannot help but breathe it in. It’s not as potent as smoking it from a pipe, but it will affect you.”
“How?”
“It relaxes, increases sensuality, makes everything more vivid.” He looked down at her.
“Are you ready to go in?”
“No.” Her hand was shaking as she reached past him and opened the door.
“But I won’t be any better later.” She walked into the chamber.
“If it must be done, let’s do it and get it over.”
The chamber was round and surprisingly luxurious compared to the austerity of the rest of the castle.
Only two candles lit the dimness of the room, but she could see richly patterned rugs warming the coldness of the stone floor; a tapestry portraying a lion hunt in the desert occupied the wall across from the door, and two divans heaped with silk pillows were set facing each other in the center of the room.
“It doesn’t look like a room that belongs in this castle.” Her gaze was drawn to the far corner and the large copper brazier Kadar had mentioned.
“I think I’m getting used to it. I don’t smell it anymore.”
“I do.” He reached out and unfastened her cloak.
It slipped from her shoulders to the floor.
“Undress.”
She stood unmoving.
“Is he watching us?”
He was swiftly disrobing.
“Probably.”
“From where?”
“The tapestry. The lion’s eyes.”
She wheeled to face the tapestry.
In the dimness she couldn’t discern anything but an outline of the lion.
“Are you sure he’s there?”
“No, but I’m sure he’ll be there sometime tonight.”
Nasim was there, watching.
Now she could see a moist glittering where the lion’s eye should be.
The helplessness she felt suddenly changed to fury.
She would not let him win this victory.
“I don’t care. Do you hear me, Nasim? I’m not doing this because you force me. This is by my will.” She pulled her gown over her head and kicked off her sandals.
“I feel no shame. The shame is yours. Watch all you please, you foul old man.”
“Selene.” Kadar was behind her.
His hands fell on her naked shoulders.
Warm, hard hands that sent a shock through her.
She whirled and buried her head in his chest. The dark triangle of hair felt springy against her cheek.
“I hate this,” she whispered.
“He makes me so angry I want to punch a stick through that tapestry right into his eye.”
“Ignore him.” He lifted her head and looked into her eyes.
“Or show him that he truly has no power over this.”
“Of course he does. I was lying.”
“Then make it truth.” His head lowered slowly until he was only an inch away.
His tongue touched her lower lip.
“Help me and I promise you’ll forget he’s watching.”
Her lip felt strange under the warm moistness of his tongue; heavy, swollen.
Her breasts, pressed against him, were beginning to feel the same heaviness.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Be at ease. Relax.” He pulled her closer, his hands sliding around to knead her back.
“It will be easier if you—”
“You’re not relaxed.” She could feel his arousal pressing against her, hard, demanding.
“I don’t have to be. You’ll recall, it’s vitally necessary that I’m not.”
His hands slipped down to cup her buttocks.
“I’m going to lift you. Put your limbs about my hips.”
“Why—” She instinctively clasped him with her legs as he sank deep within her.
Her eyes closed and she lost her breath.
The sensation was tight, stretched, hot.
“What a peculiar—” He was walking.
She grabbed hold of him.
“Where are—”
“Here.” He pressed her back against the tapestry.
“Nasim can’t see here. Only straight ahead.”
Nasim.
She should be grateful he couldn’t see, but she couldn’t seem to think.
She was only aware of Kadar inside her and the soft tapestry against her buttocks.
And then she was aware of nothing but sensation, as Kadar began to lunge in and out of her with frantic force.
Need. More. Move.
She was making soft, frantic cries deep in her throat as the fever grew.
He reached between them, his thumb seeking, finding.
Her teeth bit into his shoulder to stifle a scream as his thumb pressed, teased, rotated.
“Ah, you like it?”
She couldn’t answer.
The muscles of her belly were tensing and releasing with every movement, and the tension was mounting, growing.
“Kadar, it’s—”
“I know.” His hand left her and he was driving harder, faster.
“Let it go,” he said through his teeth.
“I’m trying, but I don’t know if—”
Release.
More fiery and climactic than anything that had gone before.
She clutched him tighter.
Tears streamed down her face.
“Good,” he gasped. “Oh, God.” He plunged to the quick.
She was vaguely aware of him shuddering, flexing within her, as she desperately held on to him.
His chest was laboring as he fought for breath.
“Are you all right? Did I—hurt you?”
She didn’t know if she was all right or not.
She felt as if she had been through a storm that had uprooted everything she knew and tossed it to the winds.
“Selene?”
“Not hurt. I’m—It was—”
“Hush. It will be fine soon.” He left her body and shifted his hold.
He was carrying her toward the divan.
Softness beneath her.
Kadar beside her, cradling her.
“Before it was pleasant,” she whispered.
“That was not—pleasant. It felt—I was not myself. I didn’t know it would be like that.”
“No, pleasant isn’t the word. Much too tame.” He brushed his lips across hers.
“But I think your pleasure was as intense as mine.”
Yes, it had been pleasure, she realized.
The sensation had been so intense that it had been hard to identify.
“Will it be like that again? Is that what you feel all the time?”
“The pleasure is deeper with you.” He cupped her breast. “But it will be like that again every time.”
“Then I can see why you rutted with every woman in Scotland.”
He chuckled.
“I’m glad for your understanding.” He bent and ran his tongue over her nipple.
“But I fear you’ve spoiled me for other women.”
Her breast was swelling beneath his touch and she could feel a tingling between her thighs.
“Are we going to—”
“Soon. But the urgency is gone.” His fingers were delving between her thighs.
“I thought we’d play a little first.”
“Play?” At Nicholas’s there was no play.
The coupling she had watched was quick, brutal, and then the man left the house of women as if his partner no longer existed.
“What are you going to—”
She arched upward with a cry as his fingers entered her and began to move.
“You see?” Kadar whispered.
“Play, Selene.”
“You’re very good at this,” Selene said drowsily as she cuddled closer.
“I believe I approve of your apprenticeship at that house in Damascus.”
“I’m glad.” He brushed the top of her head with his lips.
“At least one episode in my iniquitous past meets with your approval.”
“But just because I liked it doesn’t mean anything has changed. It merely makes this . . . tolerable.”
“Very tolerable.”
“Are you laughing at me?”
“I wouldn’t presume.”
A sudden thought struck her.
Nasim. She had completely forgotten him.
She glanced beyond Kadar’s shoulder at the tapestry.
“Is he still there?”
“No, not for hours.”
She was indifferent, she realized in surprise.
Kadar was right; by not allowing Nasim to matter, they had won a victory.
“How do you know?”
“I always feel when he’s near.”
That terrible dark bonding between them.
“When we were coupling?”
“No, not then.” He chuckled.
“I feel nothing but you.”
“That’s good.” She relaxed against him again.
“Should we go now?”
“Not until dawn. Are you not comfortable?”
Too comfortable.
She was enveloped in a lazy haze of contentment.
Strange to remember how nervous and fearful she had been when they opened that door those many hours ago.
“Is it that hashish that makes me feel so happy?”
“Partly.” His arm tightened around her.
“Only partly.”
He meant it was also because they were together.
She shook her head. “It doesn’t change—”
“Hush.” Two fingers touched her lips.
“Rest now. I wish to show you one more road to pleasure before we leave here.”
“Another? I didn’t dream there were so many.”
“Did I forget to tell you of the whore from India who claimed that there were over a hundred ways of pleasure?”
“I think she lied. It’s not possible.” She yawned.
“And I’m too tired.”
“Then sleep.” His voice was a deep, soothing murmur in her ear.
“I’ll wake you at dawn.”
She nodded, nestling her cheek against his shoulder.
“Or before.” He whispered, “For she did not lie, Selene.”