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T alking with Bradley really made me reflect about my relationship with my parents. More specifically, my mom. I don’t want to harbor resentment toward them, and they need to be aware of how they treat me. I am glad that Tristan stood up for me, but I need to be the one to fully resolve this tension between us.

I have a key but I don’t want to scare them, so I knock on the door of my parents’ house. They are not expecting me but I can’t wait until Sunday dinner to talk to them. I’ve actually missed quite a few Sunday dinners because I couldn’t face my brother or my parents. I wasn’t ready to talk to them about any of the drama that ensued with Tristan. That whole relationship, I was not ready to resolve. I don’t know if I ever will be.

My dad finally opens the door. He looks surprised. “Brooke.”

“Is it okay that I just stopped by like this? I know you weren’t expecting me to come by today.”

My dad opens the door wider and steps aside to let me in. “Brooke, you know you are always welcome to come by.” ESPN is on the TV but the volume is low, almost like white noise. It reminds me of my childhood. My dad closes the door behind us and then brings me in for a giant hug. “This will always be your home.”

Once he lets me out of the biggest hug he’s ever given me, he grabs my shoulders and leans down so his eyes are level with mine. “Now, you listen to me, Brooke. I have always been so proud of all of your accomplishments. I am sorry you never felt that from me or your mom.”

“It’s not that I never felt it from you.”

“It wasn’t enough. You obviously felt dismissed by us, and we never intended for you to feel that way. I am not making excuses, but it’s impossible to be there for your kids all the time. We love you both equally. Are we proud of Bradley for everything he has accomplished in his life? Of course. But we are equally as proud of you. I need you to know that.”

Tears are welling up. I didn’t expect my dad to say this to me. He has always been so reserved with his feelings. That is just who he is. I wipe a rogue tear with the sleeve of my pink pullover. “Thanks, Dad.” I sniffle. “Where’s Mom?”

“In the kitchen making dinner. You must have been on her mind because she is making your favorite: grandma’s famous spaghetti and meatballs.” My grandma was full-blown Italian and she made the best spaghetti and meatballs. Whenever we would go over to her house, she would always make it for us and she would whisper in my ear so that Bradley wouldn’t hear, “I know it’s your favorite, cara mia” and then wink. The bowls she served the spaghetti in were so giant, they could pass for mixing bowls. I smile at those memories.

The meatballs must be in the oven because the kitchen smells heavenly. It transports me back to my grandmother’s kitchen. Water is boiling on the stove and from the doorway, I watch my mom dump a box of spaghetti in. She sets a timer and then moves on to stir the simmering sauce. She lifts the wooden spoon and tastes the sauce, then adds a little dash of sugar to the mix. It is scary how much she resembles my grandma.

I clear my throat. “Hey Mom.”

She whips her head around. “Oh, Brooke. Hi honey. I didn’t know you were coming by.” She wipes her hands on her apron and walks over to where I am standing and brings me in for a hug. She holds on a little longer than normal. “Are you staying for dinner? I am making…”

“Grandma’s spaghetti and meatballs. Yeah, I can see that. It smells delicious. And yeah, I’ll stay for dinner. Thanks.”

There is definitely some tension between us. My mom doesn’t look like her usual self. This isn’t the confident, headstrong woman I grew up with. She looks scared and a little sad. This is the first time since I can remember that she doesn’t comment on how I look – which as of late, hasn’t been the best.

I sit at the island and like my mom always does without asking, she places a glass of water in front of me, knowing that I need it. “Thanks.” I tap the side of my glass nervously. Rip the bandaid off, Brooke . “Mom, I actually came by to talk with you about what…” I pause because even saying his name out loud is like stabbing my heart. “...Tristan said at y’all’s anniversary party.”

My mom is avoiding any sort of eye contact with me and busies herself with stirring the pasta and the sauce and manning the meatballs in the oven. “Was it true? Is that how you feel? Like your dad and I aren’t proud of you?”

“To be honest, Mom, yeah. And it sucks for me to admit that to you. I never want to be ungrateful for the parents you are, but it has been hard for me to always be second to Bradley in basically every aspect in my life.”

“Now, Brooke…”

“No, Mom let me finish. I never get to get a word in edgewise with you. I know that I am an adult and have always been the quiet one in the past. But I am not going to sit around and pretend that I am okay with the fact that no matter what I accomplish with my own career or my aspirations, in your eyes it will never live up to what Brad is doing with his life. Mom, I am one of the best teachers in the district and I am not one for tooting my own horn. When I got recognized for that, you and Dad were too busy to show up to that ceremony. Sure, it wasn’t breaking a record in a pro sport like Bradley did, but it was just as important…to me. And I know that I’ve been talking about opening up a bakery for almost ten years, but it takes time to do it the right way. Opening up any type of restaurant is risky and I want to make sure everything is right and, more importantly, that it feels right to me. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen ever. This is a giant leap of faith and I don’t want to screw it up. I think I am so scared of screwing up because I know how much of a failure I’d be in your eyes, Mom. I know that if I do fail, you would be so disappointed in me.”

Tears are really making their appearance now. I plow on. “This includes relationships. I understand that you are disappointed that I broke up with Nick. He checked off everything on paper. I know that, deep down, you just want me to find someone to share a life with…like you did with Dad. And in a way, being with Nick reminded me of you and Dad. He never mistreated me. But there was something missing and I felt like I couldn’t really be myself around him. I was content, but I wasn’t head over heels for him. There is a difference, and I deserve to be head over heels for someone. There was no real spark there. Trust me.”

My mind betrays me and wanders to the one man who ignited that spark in me. “All I want is for you to acknowledge my accomplishments with as much excitement as you do Bradley’s. And Mom, I don’t want you to worry about me being alone. I am surrounded by family and friends and the right man will come along when I least expect him to.”

My mom just stands there and nods. Without saying anything, she drains the pasta in the sink. Just when I think she is going to carry on and make dinner without acknowledging my big speech, she walks around the counter and gives me a hug. “Can I talk now?”

I nod through my staggered breathing. As soon as my mom’s hands touch my back, I break. There was so much I was holding in throughout the years – to finally release it, feels so nice.

My mom then does the same gesture my dad did to me in the living room: she takes my shoulders and looks directly at me. “Brooke, I am so sorry. Do you hear me?”

I nod, tears still covering my face.

She continues, with tears in her own eyes, “Your dad and I are immensely proud of you and what you have accomplished. I might seem harder on you because I know that you will be successful and I don’t want you to give up on your dreams. But I went about it the wrong way and I am sorry. Your brother’s career just took off and it was so easy to get swept up in the excitement of it all. And then he found the love of his life in Jen and I just wanted Nick to be it for you so badly. I don’t want you to be alone because I know that you deserve to be loved by a man who worships the ground you walk on, Brooke.” Then she cradles my face with her hands, just like she used to do when I was a kid and we were having a heart-to-heart. “Honey, I am so proud of you and love you immensely and I promise I will be better at telling you that.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love you, too. Thanks for listening and hearing what I have to say.” It is my turn to embrace her. Although this conversation doesn’t solve everything, I know it is a step in the right direction with our relationship.

She pats my back and steps back from me. “I need to check on the meatballs. I can smell when they are done.” I must’ve inherited my spidey sense of knowing my baked goods are done before the timer even goes off. It’s just a feeling.

Mom reaches into the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine. “Want a glass?”

“Mom, you never have to ask me that question. I’ll get the glasses and pasta bowls out.”

As I am placing the giant pasta bowls out on the table, my mom says as she is grating parmesan cheese, “I have to admit, I wasn’t surprised that Tristan stood up for you like that.”

My heart drops to the bottom of my belly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I think that Tristan is the man who worships the ground you walk on, Brooke.”

Trying to stifle the butterflies in my stomach, I detract by saying, “Did Bradley call and tell you to say that? I swear he never lets up.”

“Bradley didn’t tell me anything. I can see true love when it is right in front of me. Though it was a mortifying moment to be lectured in front of our friends, and I really didn’t appreciate the foul language he used, a part of me was proud of Tristan for showing up for you. A real man shows up for the people they love, Brooke. He showed up for you. I think he’s loved you for ten years.”

“It doesn’t matter now because we aren’t together anymore. He did something that hurt me, Mom. I don’t know if I can give him a second chance.” I place pot holders on top of the dining room table.

“Brooke, I hate to break it to you, but men are not perfect. Far from it. Even the most loving relationships have their ups and downs and people mess up. It’s human nature. The real question is: did you find what you were looking for with Tristan? Because I really do think that he is the missing piece for you. Sure, he might drive you crazy. But I’ve always loved how he’s challenged you throughout the years. He unleashed a spark in you that I always knew was in there.”

I fiddle with the silverware in my hands. “I’m scared to let him in again, Mom. I didn’t want to fall in love with him, but it happened anyway.”

My mom places her hand on mine. I look into her eyes and she tells me plainly, “I know it did. I think you are perfect for each other. And if you want my opinion: it’s about damn time.”

A laugh escapes me.

“Oh but Brooke,” she adds, “that’s just my two cents. In the end, of course, this is your life and your decision. I’ll be here for you whatever you decide.”

My dad yells from the living room, “Hey! The news is doing a segment on the Storm! Maybe your brother will be on here to talk about game seven!”

Mom and I hurry in to watch. Part of the segment does feature Bradley talking about the strategy the team needs to implement during the game and how badly he wants the cup. Just when we think it is over, the anchor says, “While we’re on the Storm, we have new footage to share from an Instagram Live that is currently going viral.” The news station cuts to the viral video and my jaw drops when I see who is gracing my parents’ television screen.