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18

I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Tess. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to anyone. Before I could process what came out of Tristan’s mouth, he grabbed my hand and led me out to his car.

“Tristan.” He doesn’t utter one word, and I need him to talk to me. “Tristan, will you slow down? Where are we going?”

He unlocks his car and opens the passenger door for me to get in. Again, no words are coming out of his mouth. He looks determined and intense. It is similar to the look that he has when he is on the ice. He nods his head for me to get into the car.

I don’t know what possesses my body to do it, but I get in.

He slams the door shut behind me and practically runs around the car to get to the driver’s side.

I send a quick text to Tess. I feel bad about abandoning her, but I know she will understand.

Hey Tess. I am so sorry I had to bolt. I will explain later. I hope you find a hot hockey player to go home with tonight.

Tristan, who has apparently turned mute in the past ten minutes, turns on the car and begins to drive.

I got a text back from Tess.

Ooooo are you with Dean?? Can’t wait to hear about it.

Um, not with Dean.

Oh you’re right I see Dean now.

OH. MY. GOD! You did not go home with Tristan fricken Lawson!!!

Yes, yes I did. Am I stupid for doing this? I mean he is my enemy Tess!

So what? You both need to release all that pent-up enemy energy you’ve been carrying around for way too long. I hope you have fun doing it ??. You are obligated to tell me everything when I see you again. I’m serious–a very detailed debrief with coffee and donuts is a must! Promise me now, Brooke Beckett–you will take a chance on Tristan and let him do whatever he wants to do to you tonight.’

My thumbs hover over the keyboard on my screen.

Coffee and donuts, you’ve got it. Are you sure you are ok with me leaving? I am the worst date ever.

I am perfectly fine. See you on Monday.

Love you!

Love you too ??

Tristan takes a hard right turn. He would be a dead ringer for one of the Fast and Furious characters. “Oh my god, Tristan! Are you trying to get us killed? Why are we in such a rush? Where are you taking me?”

Again, silence. He grips the gear stick so hard that the veins in his hands are protruding out. A new sexy thing about him that I’ve never noticed before. He weaves his way through the evening traffic on the highway and heads south toward downtown. Maybe he is taking me home? I do live a little outside of Uptown. But then again, he lives in one of the most luxurious communities in the metroplex. And it just so happens to be right down the street from my apartment. So it’s a toss-up of where we are going.

Or maybe he’s gone crazy and decided this is the night he is going to get rid of me for good. All’s fair at this point in our dysfunctional relationship.

We exit off the highway and I get my question answered when he takes a right turn instead of a left.

We are heading to his house.

“Tristan, why are we here?”

Again, no response. He unlocks his door and deactivates his alarm. He motions for me to come inside where I am greeted by his two big dogs again. He herds them to the back of his massive house and slides open the back door to let them out into the backyard. He removes his jacket and drapes it along the back of the back of his couch. Tristan grabs a remote and turns on the gas fireplace. He turns on the lights but clearly has a dim setting so it’s not very harsh. I place my clutch on the couch as well.

Tristan’s silence is making me nervous.

Maybe being playful will kill the silence. “Is this the part where you kill me? Because if you are, just put me out of my misery already. I can’t take another minute of waiting for you to explain what we are doing here and if you are, please give me the courtesy of saying goodbye to my family and friends. And I guess say goodbye to your career because then you’d be a murderer and my brother will probably hate your guts more than I ever did because you killed his only sister…”

“If you are going to break your one rule, I want you to break it with me, Brooke.”

I feel whiplash, trying to process his words. I can only blink at him and ask, “What did you just say?”

He doesn’t answer me right away. Instead he keeps pacing and goes back and forth between rubbing the back of his neck and rubbing his forehead.

Tristan’s words are on a conveyor loop in my head. All I can do is repeat his own words back to him, “You want me to break my rule with you?” I let out a nervous laugh. “Why…why would I do that?”

“Because…I want to be with you. And not just in a ‘benefits’ type of way. I’ve wanted this – I’ve wanted you – since the moment I walked into your parents’ kitchen ten years ago and you had flour all over your pretty face. Since the moment I put that disgusting cupcake in my mouth. The only reason I ate it all was because I didn’t want to be an asshole and make a bad first impression.”

I feel like my entire reality has been shattered. My legs are actually trembling. He must be fucking with me. “I am so confused right now, Tristan. I thought you hated me.”

“I never hated you Brooke. Not for one moment. I just pretended to hate you because for some unknown reason, you hated me from the start. And once Bradley told me that you have this one rule that you would never date a hockey player, I had to force myself to put you out of my mind. I slept with other women, dated other women. And I know how fucked-up this sounds but they were just a distraction for me. I would’ve saved myself for you, Brooke.”

I cannot form words right now. My thoughts are incoherent and my brain feels really foggy. Kind of like I am drunk, but I barely had anything to drink tonight.

“What was it that made you hate me so much?” Tristan continues, looking at me intently.

If he is confessing things, I guess it’s my turn to be honest with him. “I, um, heard you and Bradley talking in the hallway. Ten years ago. I was in the bathroom cleaning off my face so that I wouldn’t look like a complete troll to you. I thought you were the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen and I was so embarrassed that I was covered in flour and messed up my cupcakes. I was such a mess.”

“Brooke…”

“I heard you. You said that I wasn’t your type at all. That you liked girls with big boobs, girls who were blonde and skinny and just not–me. I was so over competing with girls like that. And not to bash anyone who fits that description. I was just so hurt by that statement because, once again, I wasn’t enough for someone. I’ve never been enough for someone. It seemed like you were flirting with me in the kitchen and so I thought maybe, just maybe I had a chance with this super handsome guy who is ridiculously charismatic and funny.” Tears well up in my eyes at a memory that has haunted me for all these years. “I thought: How did I get so lucky? My heart leaped that night when I first saw you.” I wipe a tear from my cheek. “But that feeling was short-lived when you said that to my brother. I guess I was protecting myself and sort of passing judgment on you. Which in retrospect, wasn’t fair. But the truth is I made that rule because of you, Tristan. Your words hurt me and I made it about hockey because I couldn’t admit to anyone that I was hurt so badly.”

“Oh, Brooke. That’s why you hated me all of these years?” Tristan pinches the top of his nose and furrows his eyebrows. Then he closes the gap between us and grabs the sides of my face, wiping another tear away. “The only reason I said that to your brother was because I was fucking scared of admitting to him that I fucking fell for you the moment I saw you. That my brain chemistry was altered so much so that no woman has been able to live up to you. Even on the days when you were so mean to me, I wanted to throw you over my shoulder and take you home and make you mine.” Then he starts to laugh a little. “God you are so fucking stubborn…always have been.”

My pulse is rushing and I feel lightheaded. Tristan Lawson fell for me the moment he saw me? This is a lot of information to process. I am still so confused and a little pissed off that he waited so long to tell me. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head. One thing I do know is that I don’t want to make a huge mistake. I decide to put my guard up. Old habits. “Tristan, I don’t know why you are calling me stubborn. You are the most stubborn man I know.” This is too much. I can’t risk getting hurt by this man again. I grab my clutch and say, “I appreciate you being honest with me, Tristan. I just don’t know if I can do this.”

I turn toward his front door, but then I feel Tristan’s hand grab my arm and whip me completely around. I crash into his chest and he grabs onto my jaw and forces me to look up at him. “You aren’t going anywhere, Cupcake.”

“You’re not the boss of me, Hot Shot. And I’m not breaking my rule.” My voice gets a little shaky as I finally look into Tristan’s eyes and see how intense they are. “Especially with you.”

Tristan smirks, leans down, and whispers in my ear, “Are you sure about that?” Then I feel his lips press against my jaw. “Because based on the other night, I think you like what I do to you.” I can feel his fingers take out the pins in my hair and let them fall to the floor as he places another kiss on my collarbone. “And I want it all with you, Brooke.” He grabs my face with both hands again. He searches my eyes for my answer.

I can’t lie: I want it all with him, too.

Then he presses his forehead against mine. “Please put me out of my misery, Brooke, and tell me that you want it all with me, too. But if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll take you home and never bother you again.”

My heart leaps at what this gorgeous man is saying to me. Even with his tough exterior, I have never seen him so exposed and vulnerable. My throat feels dry, all my words dried up.

After a few moments of silence, I can feel him shake his head against me. He lets go of my face, almost as if he lost a fight that I wasn’t privy to for the past ten years. “I figured I’d shoot my shot with you. I guess I’ll take you home.”

He starts to back away from me and that’s when I drop my clutch on the floor, reach up and grab his strong jaw. His scruff tickles my hands and I force him to look down at me. “I don’t want to go home.” I reach on my tip toes and press my lips to his.

Tristan kisses me back with urgency. No hesitation. He presses against my lower back so that my entire body is flush with his. I can feel every ridge of his abs and one of his hands grabs my ass.

I laugh and break our kiss. “Excuse me, Lawson. What do you think you’re doing?”

“Taking what’s finally mine.” Tristan smiles and kisses me more. This time, his tongue explores my mouth a little, making my knees buckle at the sensation that runs through my body. Memories of the other night flood my brain. I swear that tongue is going to be the death of me.

His fingers run through my hair and pull it slightly so that I am looking up at him. He’s in control again and I am totally okay with that. “Last chance to back out, Cupcake. Just say the word and I’ll take you home.” He places a small peck on the side of my mouth, teasing me and thus infuriating me at the same time. I am about to respond, but Tristan continues, “Because once we do this, I have no intention of going back and pretending to hate you, Brooke. I do, however, have every intention of falling deeper in love with you.”

I am catapulted back to the night I first met this man. Back to the first smile I ever witnessed come across his face. How his dimples became so prominent and his eyes lit up. That is how he is looking at me right now.

I knew that man was inside of him. All this time.

Tristan plays with the hair framing with my face. At some point my hands moved down to rest on his abs. I slowly move them around to the sides of this torso. My desire for him is increasing every second. But being playful has always been a part of our relationship, so I decide to tease him a bit. I lean away from him, just enough so there is an inch of space between our bodies.

“You know, someone told me tonight that it sometimes pays off to take risks. So, I’m taking a risk right now and I’m hoping it pays off.” I scan his body. “Besides, you told me you were going to take this dress off me. I thought you were a man of your word, Hot Shot.” I smile against his lips and I can feel him smile back.

“You’re right. I am. Turn around,” he whispers against my lips. I do as I’m told because I can’t wait to get this dress off me. I want to feel Tristan’s hands all over me. His hand goes across my chest and pulls me against him. I let my head fall back against his sculpted chest. He presses little kisses on my neck and I let out a small moan. His other hand is splayed across my lower back. I feel it travel up the path of my zipper and his fingers grab onto my zipper pull.

My hands start to shake. I am so nervous. I know that I was practically naked in front of Tristan the other night, but this moment holds more weight. Confessions have been made. It feels like I woke up from this alternate reality where Tristan hated my guts and I’ve been pushed into this new reality where it was all a lie.

“You bought this dress to make me jealous, didn’t you? You really wanted me to take it off your perfect body, didn’t you Cupcake?” Tristan bites my ear as he pulls my zipper down, slowly, meticulously. He knows what he is doing. He is driving me insane. Like always.

I reach up and grab his hair. I love that he has grown it out a little. More to grab onto. “God, Tristan. Just take my dress off already. You’re driving me crazy.”

“I love it when you get upset at me…that means I have your attention.” The zipper pull finally reaches the zipper’s end. My dress falls to my feet, exposing my black lace thong. No bra was needed for this dress. It was all built-in with the corset. I instinctively cover my boobs, remembering that I don’t have the enormous boobs that Tristan is probably used to.

Tristan’s hands grasp my wrists and pull my hands down to my sides. “Don’t. I want to see all of you, Brooke.” Both his hands find my hips and turn me around, so now I am facing him. I can feel myself blushing. This is so unfair. He is still dressed while here I am, laid bare with nothing but a thong and heels that are killing my feet. I step out of the dress and Tristan kicks it off to the side.

“Mmmm.” Tristan’s eyes travel across my body. I feel a surge of confidence because I can tell he likes what he sees. With his hands still on my hips, he pushes me against his couch. My butt is resting on the top of the couch and I place my hands next to me to steady myself for whatever Tristan is about to do to me.

Tristan falls to his knees and lifts up my foot.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

He unclasps the buckle on one of my heels and takes it off, his fingers briefly caressing my feet. I feel immediate relief. I am not used to wearing heels like that. I am used to wearing my white Keds all day. Heels would not bode well while running around after little kids.

“You looked uncomfortable, Cupcake. I want you to be as relaxed as possible tonight.” He does the same thing to my other foot. This is the second time that Tristan Lawson has been on his knees before me. And this is also the second time I have been nearly naked in front of this man.

Just when I’m thinking it is going to be a repeat of the other night, Tristan stands up in between my legs. My chest heaves as he puts his hand under my chin and gently lifts it. He nearly brushes his lips with mine and shivers cascade through my entire body. I want more. My body is craving him. I think it has been for ten years.

His thumb brushes my chin and he licks my bottom lip. He is teasing me. He’s roping me in with his unadulterated hotness and he knows it. His eyes are the darkest I’ve ever seen them. I can feel how turned on he is and I love how hard he is right now. I inch my hips toward him and run my hands around his torso, pulling him closer to me.

“Tristan…” I say against his lips.

He lifts my chin to meet his lips and kisses me hard this time. Like he has been waiting all his life to do this. All of our moments, good and bad, are all wrapped up in this consuming kiss. Somehow, magically, it’s as if all the bad dissipated and all that is left are the good moments. This is definitely the biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life. But even if it does backfire, somehow I know that it will be okay in the end. At least I took a chance, right? In any case, that is what I am telling myself at this moment, because I’ve never wanted anything or anyone this badly. I desperately want to know what I have been missing all these years.

My fingers find Tristan’s belt buckle and start to undo it. Tristan’s hand firmly grabs mine. He breaks our kiss and my eyebrows furrow. I thought he wanted this. He gives me a quick peck, almost like he can read my confusion and temporary self-doubt.

“Patience, Cupcake. There is something I want to do first.” Tristan hooks one of his arms under my thighs and throws me over his shoulder. I laugh out of surprise, and from the thrill of being carried like this. He goes to the back door and lets in his pups, then heads upstairs. To his bedroom. But instead of going to the bed, he heads to his bathroom, which is the size of my living room and kitchen combined.

His shower has all glass walls and there is a massive bathtub at one end. I glimpse a rainfall showerhead and built in benches.

He reaches into the shower and turns it on. The bathroom starts steaming at the perfect moment. Tristan unbuttons his shirt and pulls the bottom of the shirt from his almost-too-tight-for-his-body pants. That is when I unabashedly take him all in. I just saw him shirtless a couple weeks ago, but I didn’t allow myself to stare for too long. Now I feel no shame for staring, and I have a suspicion that Tristan doesn’t mind it.

His chest is covered in tattoos and he has a small one on his left rib cage. I’ve never noticed it before. I walk toward him, partly because I want to help him finish getting undressed, but also so I can see what his tiny tattoo says.

“What’s this? I’ve never noticed it before.” I reach out and touch the tattoo. I squint and make out the initials B.B . “Aw, did you get a tattoo with my brother’s initials? You guys are so cute. Does he know how much you love him?”

Tristan laughs and shakes his head. “Okay, you caught me. The second B is for Beckett.” Then he pauses and points to the first B. “But the first B is not for Bradley. I know you always think I am fawning over your brother but, like I told you the night I met you, I am not. There’s another Beckett who I hope knows how much I love her.”

Wait. He got my initials tattooed on his body? “You got this for me? Why?”

“I only get tattoos that mean something to me, Cupcake. You mean everything to me.”

I graze my fingertips over the small black letters. I just fell harder for this man. Since the first night we met, I’ve spent so much time and energy refusing to let myself fall for him. But now. Everything is different.

Tristan pulls his belt out of the pant loops and throws it on the ground. I hook my fingers into his belt loops and draw him closer to me, repeating the words he said to me downstairs: “Turn around.”

He raises an eyebrow and does what he is told. I reach around his waist to find his pants’ button and undo it slowly. I can feel his muscular back tighten with my touch. I decide to tease him a little and plant small kisses all over his back as I unzip his pants. I hear him groan which fuels my need for him even more. I reach back around and slightly graze his cock with my hand. He grunts and turns around to face me. He loops his thumbs around my panties and pulls them down, getting on his knees again in the process. He lifts my feet one by one and tosses my panties over by his discarded clothes. I hold onto his hair, hoping that he will place that mouth where I want him to.

Instead he stands and takes off his underwear. My jaw drops as I take him in fully. No wonder he has so much confidence. Before I pass out, I distract my thoughts and deflect into another subject: “Why are we going to shower? I thought we were going to the bed.” If he is going to make me flustered, I am going to do the same to him. I boldly grab his ass and he chuckles at my candor. I don’t know what has come over me. All I know is I want this man more than anything I’ve ever wanted.

He releases my hands from his perfect ass and leads me into the steaming shower. The glass walls look like the car window in Titanic. We step into the middle of the shower and let the water fall over both of us. Tristan takes a loofa and lathers it in body wash, which smells deliciously like him: mint and cedar. It’s intoxicating. Like him. After it gets sudsy, he starts to rub it against my body. His body glistens and each droplet of water looks like a diamond against his protruding muscles. “You asked why we were in the shower.”

“Yes, I did,” I let out breathlessly.

Tristan takes hold of my torso and pins me against the shower wall. His eyes are so intense they make my pulse quicken. Soap and water are dripping down our bodies. Tristan’s face suddenly twists into a painful expression as he says, “Hastings had his hands on you tonight. Before I touch you any further, we need to wash off any trace of that prick.”

He kisses the side of my neck and sticks two fingers inside of me, making me squeal. I clutch onto his broad shoulders and dig my fingers into him. My other hand grabs his wet hair and pulls hard. He stops kissing the side of my neck and gives me his signature playful smile that I’ve seen him flash on and off the ice way too many times to count. I spread my legs more while he fingers me. His mouth finds mine and he kisses me. No, not just kisses me. Full-on makes out with me. I have no defenses left against this man. His tongue is exploring my mouth in ways that make my body ache even more for him. He wants this as much as I want this. And it’s definitely not out of hate.

I break our kiss because I can’t take it anymore. “I need you now , Tristan.”

“I want to make you come first. So come for me and then I will take you to my bed, Cupcake.” He presses his thumb over my clit and continues to finger me. He lifts one of my legs up and wraps it around his torso. My breathing is erratic as I move my hips to match the movement of his hand against me. I want more than just his fingers and tongue inside of me. Just that thought alone makes my body finally release and I collapse into him.

“Good girl,” he whispers to me. He steps away from me momentarily so he can turn off the water. Then he lifts me in his strong arms and slowly walks out of the bathroom. “Did that feel good, Cupcake?”

“You know it did, Hot Shot.”

He pauses at the foot of the bed. As he places me down onto the softest sheets ever, he suddenly looks worried. It’s a rare sight – Tristan Lawson having a look of trepidation about something. Hell will definitely freeze over in a matter of seconds.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, praying he isn’t getting second thoughts.

“The problem is, once we do this, I know that I won’t be able to stop wanting you. I am going to keep wanting you more and more. I have wanted this for so long. You are completely going to undo me, Brooke Beckett.”

I stand up so our bodies are right up against each other. I love seeing Tristan like this. Unfiltered. No bullshit. No games. Not putting on a damn show for fans. I cradle his face and make him look me in the eyes. Wet tendrils are falling into his face and I attempt to push them back, but fail. Small droplets are still falling slowly down each ridge of his body, every curvature of each muscle. “Well it’s a good thing that you have already undone me, Tristan Lawson. The moment you walked into my parents’ kitchen. And I’ve wanted this for so long, too. I was just too stubborn to let my guard down with you.”

“Mmmm, so you admit that you are stubborn.” Tristan smiles as he brushes a piece of damp hair behind my ear. There it is. My favorite smile in the whole world.

I shake my head, smile back and say, “Shut up and fuck me, Tristan.”