Page 44 of The Summer You Were Mine

His hand went to her hip and she drew her leg over his, feeling the waist of his jeans under the soft belly of her calf.

She touched him there in the charged space between the fabric and his skin.

Tracing her fingers down along the ridge of his hip bone, she watched him set his teeth.

It was outrageous to think that she had that much power in just her fingertips, but maybe it was the years of waiting for this kind of touch that wrecked his composure.

She felt it too as he scraped up under her skirt, his warm hand rising up her inner thigh.

She winced. It was too good. Something like pain pooled up from her belly, and she grabbed his shoulders.

“Is this too much?” he rasped.

She shook her head no. His fingers found the button on the waist of her skirt and popped it open.

Her hands met his as they worked together to slide the fabric down, pulling her underwear along with it.

Cris gently nudged her hip back so that she was lying flat and pulled back, placing kisses on the insides of her bent knees.

He slid his hands down, parting her legs, and she drew in a breath.

“Cris, I just—” she tried, though words failed as his thumb traced the warmest part of her.

“You just…” He grinned as she gasped at the circular motion building pressure. He leaned over her, placed a kiss on her mouth, and whispered, “You just have to know how long I’ve wanted to do this. Can I?”

Again, she nodded. It was all she was capable of with her bones on the verge of shattering.

He smoothed his hands down to part her legs again, this time dipping his head to taste her.

She groaned and felt his mouth work to loosen her soul from its stays.

It felt surreal. But there was no doubt in his movements, no confusion in his quiet whispers coaxing her to oblivion.

White heat rose within her until one last stroke of his tongue rendered her senseless.

“My God, that was amazing,” he said, speaking her thoughts. “You are amazing.”

“That was—” She stopped herself. “I don’t know. Insanity? I may have lost the ability to speak, but please tell me we have a—”

“Oh, we do. I am so embarrassed to tell you that I am prepared. Don’t ask me too many questions about that, okay?” He laughed, reaching to touch his back pocket.

“No questions from this girl.” She smiled.

Cris stood and unbuttoned his jeans. She sat up, tugging at the hem of her tank, and pulled it over her head.

He yanked off his pants and whatever had been underneath, then smiled as Ellie leaned back on the bed.

She pulled him over her body, her hands running over his chest, his back, his face.

His eyes were set on hers, sober and watching.

She stared back, letting the gaze fizz and pop between them. She would not look away.

“You are the most beautiful,” he said. “You always have been.” He drew his thumb along her bottom lip, and she leaned up to him, answering with her mouth on his.

The only thing she heard in her head over and over was, Why did it take so long to get here?

If they knew how good this felt, with their hands and mouths on each other, their bodies fitting so well together, they would have been here long ago and never let go.

Cris tore open the condom wrapper, the ripping sound of it making them both giggle.

He set himself between her thighs, planting kisses down her sternum and lower along her belly.

His fingers grazed the softest part of her again. She gasped.

“Cris,” she breathed, and said one more silent wish that this was the right thing, that this was everything. She arched into him as he slowly became part of her body. His eyes squeezed shut as he winced, a moan escaping from his throat.

“My God, Ellie,” he growled. He ran his hands under her, scooping her up closer, deeper.

He set the pace, achingly slow at first, her body was molten around him.

Time was lost as they learned how their bodies moved together.

A flicker of sweat shone on his chest as the pace quickened and his brow furrowed.

Lightning surged within her again and she gasped.

He seemed to feel it, too, pressing his hips deeper until she grabbed a fistful of sheets and opened her mouth to not scream.

He followed her, grabbing her hand and holding it over his mouth with a slight grin.

The muscles in his chest and arms flexed taut, the veins in his neck flared.

Then, slowing his movements, he gripped Ellie, holding her to his chest. He let out a sigh so deep, she felt his whole soul come down.

Cris leaned back on the bed, pulling Ellie alongside him.

He folded his arms around her as she pressed her cheek to his chest. The room was quiet except for the sound of their breathing.

Yet it felt like there was something else in the room with them that hadn’t been there before.

The feeling of being alone together was magic.

She knew she’d need to get up in a minute, but she wasn’t ready to let go yet.

She was so comfortable, almost dangerously relaxed, and wanted to make it last as long as they could.

“We can’t fall asleep,” she whispered. “Don’t forget. ”

“I know, I know.” Cris opened one eye and smiled. “Your parents will be coming home.”

“Just when I think we’ve grown all the way up.” She laughed.

“Speaking of, I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I’d like to ask you a very adult question.” He brushed his lips against her forehead.

“Oh no,” she said to the ceiling. “Okay, I am ready. Let me have it.”

“I feel like we’ve talked a lot, maybe even fixed some things.

But I realized I didn’t ask you directly how you feel.

So, I guess what I want to know is…” He paused, smiling at her with his hair in his eyes.

“Do you like me? Or do you ‘like me,’ like me?” He laughed and squeezed her tighter.

“Okay, maybe I’m not ready to be an adult yet. You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, no, it’s a good question,” she said, her smile melting away, replaced by a new furrow in her forehead.

“When we were kids and it seemed like you blew me off, the whole thing was a way for me to blame myself for making a mistake. But I also used it to scare me away from ever being strung out on someone who, I told myself, didn’t care for me more than a flip-flop.

Liking you or not liking you was not part of it—getting away from feeling awful was.

Then I used to tell myself that whatever we had was an illusion that could only exist here in Italy.

We never saw each other in the States, only here.

I thought that maybe I was stupid to try to make it happen there, like I was trying to bring a fairy tale into reality where it doesn’t belong.

And here we are again, in Italy. And these feelings are hitting me hard, in Italy.

So, there’s that old fear that maybe this is only happening because we’re back in fantasyland.

Then again, I’m smart enough to know this wouldn’t even have a chance unless I still had some pretty strong feelings.

I know this answer is way longer than it should be and probably not what you wanted to hear, but my final answer is—” She paused.

“That it’s one or both of those options.

But I don’t know that I want to admit either. ”

Cris turned himself around to face her so they were nose-to-nose in her small bed. “Well, I didn’t expect the answer to be location-specific, but I get it. I think I have a response, though. Do you want to hear it?”

“Go,” she said, her heart already tender at the thought of someone carefully responding to one of her infobombs.

“I always thought you were some kind of amazing. You were so far out of my league, you were in another galaxy. I had a crush on you from the time I knew what girls were. That night under the Ping-Pong table felt like I’d gotten blasted by a comet.

Despite that, I don’t blame you for having very little idea about any of it because I blew it, Ellie.

I know it. I can’t go back and wake up that eighteen-year-old kid who barely pulled his head out of his ass long enough to do anything but dunk it underwater and keep swimming until they turned the lights out in the building.

But I disagree with the idea that we have some kind of weird, tropical-tree-frog kind of relationship that only lives in a particular environment or else it dies.

I don’t think it matters where we are, only that we’re in the same place together.

” He cracked a smile. “And for the record, I liked you way more than a flip-flop, even back then when we were supposed to be just friends. If I think about the idea that we may have never talked again, it honestly makes me nauseous. So I know what my answer is.”

“Well, I don’t think I can go back to assuming you’re terrible, so my whole strategy is blown.” She waved her arms, feigning annoyance.

“I am sorry for ruining your plan.” He laughed. “That means we only have one choice.”

“Because we’re not going to be afraid?”

“Exactly.”

“Wait, what is it?” Ellie asked, her forehead drawing together in mock confusion.

Cris leaned his head closer until his nose touched hers. “I think you know,” he whispered.

“Oh, I see how this goes.” She smiled. “You want me to say it!”

“Nooo, I would never do that!” Cris pulled a face.

They both laughed and tried to shush each other, as though staying quiet would save them from being found in bed together if Gio and Peggy wandered in.

When they finally stopped giggling, he pulled her in closer, kissing the tip of her nose.

“If you really want to know,” he whispered, “I ‘like you,’ like you. A lot.”

“Okay, okay,” she whispered back. “Then me too.”