Page 13 of The Story of You

“I don’t care. Maybe next time you won’t cause trouble.”

Dad removed his belt and without ceremony laid ten stripes across my ass. They had all his power behind them. I’m not sure I’ve ever hit Lakshan as hard as he laid into fifteen-year-old me, and helikesbeing laid into severely. I didn’t. I tried to muffle my screams so Mom wouldn’t hear, so Oliver wouldn’t wake up, and so Darius wouldn’t be forever traumatized.

At least Mom didn’t hear.

“You two behave yourselves. I’ve got enough shit to deal with,” he said before he left.

I was crying silently but I heard Oliver wake up, so I forced myself to roll over, immediately flinching—the pain was so bad. I caught sight of Darius’s face. It was red and he was crying too. He looked like he’d watched a murder and maybe he had.

Something died that day.

“Th-There’s blood, Sye,” he cried.

I closed my eyes and opened them again, gathering the strength to be stone. Gathering the fortitude to pretend everything was okay with the hope he would believe me. “C-Can you get Oliver? Bring him in here.” My lip wavered as I breathed through fire.

His head nodded frantically, and he ran out. I made myself pull up my striped cotton boxer shorts and tugged my jeans the rest of the way off. I’d have to deal with myself later. I had a baby to look after, and he would always be my priority. He would know he was someone’s priority like a babe should.

Oliver was still tiny at two months. He fit on Darius’s twin bed with us.

Later, when everything was calm, Darius reached a hand over mine. “I’m so fucking sorry, Sye. I’ve never seen him like that.”

Father had always been strict and no-nonsense. He didn’t have much patience for misbehaving children, but he was a reasonable guy. He had been. He’d punished me with the same belt before and in those times, I felt punished not beaten.

“It will be fine. It was a hard day with Mother. I’m sure he’ll apologize tomorrow.”

“That was bad, Silas.”

“We should behave ourselves better anyway. He has a lot to deal with. He doesn’t need us causing trouble.” I believed what I was saying.

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll try. But it’s hard. I think she’s dying.”

“Don’t give up on her yet.” The three of us slept there.

The next day, Father apologized as I’d predicted. I couldn’t sit down so I rocked Oliver on my shoulder as I showed Darius how to make scrambled eggs for himself. Unfortunately, Darius was going to have to grow up too. The house was getting to be a mess. I couldn’t keep up with everything. I needed his help.

Father’s head was in his hands. He cried. He ran fingers through his hair, ruining the styling he did for work. The bags under his eyes were darkening. “I couldn’t sleep last night, Silas. Are you all, right? I’m so sorry. I never should have done that.”

He shouldn’t have, but I forgave him easily. He was still my idol. I knew his behavior was out of character. People make mistakes, even parents.

When this is over, he’ll go back to being my superhero.

“It’s fine, Father. I’m fine. I shouldn’t have reacted to this guy,” I said, wrapping an arm around Darry’s neck. “I’m supposed to be the mature one.”

I still knew how to smile. I gave him a big one. A real one. I hoped it would make him feel better.

“He needs to behave himself too,” Father warned giving a stern look in Darius’s direction.

“Yes, sir,” Darius said. He pressed against me, seeking comfort. I moved my free arm, so it was around his skinny shoulders instead of his neck.

We went through our usual routine with me laying a sleeping Oliver into his stroller and taking Darius to the bus stop. He wasn’t so keen on leaving that day. “You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“I took a couple of Advil. I barely feel it.”

“Not with that, with Dad.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Go to school, dumbass. He’ll be gone anyway.”

He rolled his eyes and left. But Father wasn’t gone. He was there drinking coffee when I came home. Oliver was still asleep, so I pulled him out of the stroller intent on laying him down. I didn’t like leaving him alone to sleep even though that’s what you’re supposed to do with babies. It felt like no one loved him and I wanted to make sure he knew he was loved. Mama tried but she was too sick. Darius had his moments, but he was too angry.