Page 49 of The Second Chance Supper Club

She’d kept it all these years. She wasn’t quite sure why, but every time she’d thought to throw it away on some tidying mission, something inside had stopped her.

It had almost got put aside in this latest move, but coming back up here to Northumberland, it still felt relevant, nostalgic.

And to be honest, it had lifted her, at a time when she’d felt unloved and unappreciated.

She was glad she hadn’t got rid of it in the move to the cottage.

She still wasn’t quite sure what had drawn her to keep it.

Maybe the words of young love had buoyed her up, when she’d re-discovered them, at a time when she was at her lowest, back there in Roundhay with her marriage in tatters and her packing boxes waiting to be filled.

Ah, there it was; a shoe box filled with bits and bobs and memories.

She pulled it out and carefully removed the lid.

Firstly, a picture of Adam as a baby … oh, and then his first tooth stored in a ring box, a finger painting from his nursery.

She smiled. And below, several more mementoes.

Then, in an old photo sleeve, a Kodak picture Susie had taken of her and Matty on the beach at Bamburgh way back when – his arm around her, big grin, dark floppy hair and those melting-toffee eyes …

that she’d started to fall for all over again – along with an envelope, yellowed with age.

Dear Cathy,

Hope you are fine, beautiful girl. I’m missing you already and you only left yesterday!

What an amazing week this has been. I can’t believe I met you and we had such a great time. I can’t stop thinking about you. Getting to know you … and more, wow. I think I’m head over heels already.

Been a bit of a boring day here – now you’ve gone. A rainy morning, so I did a bit of revision (yawn) and then had a ride out on my BMX bike. Mum cooked us all a roast beef dinner which was nice.

Back to college tomorrow. Just a few more weeks and I’m done. I think I told you I’m looking to go into the police or perhaps train up to be a fireman, so I’m finding out all I can about that at the moment, and working hard for my exams. Though I’m not super clever uni material like you!

Hope you had a good journey back.

Say hello to Susan and your mum and dad from me.

Can’t wait to hear from you! And see you – and hold you in my arms again – sometime soon, I hope.

I could always jump on a train down to Sheffield in the summer holidays. Just say the word!

Thinking of you. Love you loads!

Your, Matty xxx

Oh my. Cath felt a stab of guilt, of missed opportunities and what-might-have-beens.

No wonder Will had been so put out. That teenage lad had opened up his heart to her, laying all his feelings on the line.

His youthful words so loving and hopeful.

Memories of that week, chatting away about their hopes and dreams, holding hands on the sands, their first kiss, and then sneaking off that last night for a precious stolen hour at his house, his parents out for the evening.

With a small sigh, Cath neatly folded the letter and placed it on her bedside table. The past and present incredibly, and somewhat perturbingly, crashing together. Wow, what a day it had been. She could still hardly believe it.

There had been further letters, two more, she remembered – full of Matty’s hopes and giddy dreams that she had no doubt shattered.

That heart-stopping pregnancy scare, followed by the realities of needing to buckle down, being in the midst of her GCSEs that summer, before the big two-year push for her A Levels …

Her commitment to her teaching ambitions and university plans, moving her forward.

But she’d never forgotten that dashing young lad, her Matty.

She crawled into bed, resting against her pillows in the soft glow of the bedside lamp of her cottage bedroom, she remembered reading and re-reading these letters all those years ago in the Sheffield bedroom of her childhood, with her posters of Spandau Ballet and Wet Wet Wet on the walls.

Her fingertips had trembled, her teenage heart full but oh-so scared at the same time, wondering what the hell should she do.

Her period still hadn’t come, and she felt all kinds of wrong, and queasy.

Deciding that she needed some advice, she’d resolved to speak with Susie.

Her sister was older, she’d know what to do.

Cathy needed to find out if she was pregnant.

And then, she’d have to decide what next.

There was no way she could write back to Matty until then.

All this back in June 1988 – whoa, thirty-six years ago, in fact. No wonder she and Will hadn’t recognised each other when she’d first arrived here in the village. Even as they got to know each other. It was so long ago, and they had both changed so much.

Was it fate that they’d met again now? Despite all his recent frostiness, did it mean something to them both still? But they couldn’t pretend they were sixteen and seventeen any more. And a hell of a lot of life had been lived since then. Where did they go from here?

Nowhere much, going by Will’s curt reaction at his house.

Well then, there was no use pining after something that never came to be.

And, certainly no use stirring everything up in the here and now like a hornet’s nest. Youthful Cathy had disappointed him then; she didn’t want to do that again now.

If they had a chance of at least remaining friends, and seeing each other occasionally as part of the supper group, then they needed to find a bit of common ground and forgiveness.

Before what was to be a restless night, Cath got up and put the lovelorn letter back in the shoe box, deciding to absolutely put a lid also on her more recent romantic feelings for Will.