Page 23 of The Second Chance Supper Club

The wolf in sheep’s clothing was back on her threshold looking, well … rather sheepish.

‘Morning, Trevor. Well then, you’d better come on in.’

Her husband had become the enemy, the betrayer. But now, after all that had happened between them, he looked rather lost. But, she steeled herself, after these past eighteen months, they were still very much on different sides.

He followed her through to the kitchen where she clicked the kettle on. Her finger on the trigger – hmm, was it coffee or another bout of marital war they’d be making?

Small talk was safer to start, she figured. ‘So, how was the pub … or the B his voice was soft, yet the tone so heavy – filled with his own burden.

Cath could see he was in earnest, but she’d been hurt too much and for too long.

Her tone was matter of fact. ‘A long time before, Trevor …’ She couldn’t deny that their early years of marriage, of having Adam and seeing him grow up, they’d been happy years.

‘We did have some good years, way back … but things have changed, so very much. And since I’ve been away, living here on my own, I can see that maybe what you did – going off like that – it was a sign …

of how things had altered for us, over time.

Maybe the glue had already become unstuck even before you went off …

’ She let the words hover there, her own understanding of the situation growing as she spoke them.

‘Adam’s grown up and away now. Life’s changing all the time.

And sometimes you either grow together or apart …

and for us, well, it was apart. We were too busy just getting on with life to notice what was happening. ’

‘Oh …’ was all Trevor could manage. He took another gulp of coffee.

Cath paused to take a sip too. She’d said far more than she’d intended. It was emotionally draining, but it was needed. They should, in fact, probably have had this conversation months ago. But back then, it was hard to talk, to even see rationally, not when you were damn well hurting so much.

Trevor made an attempt at an explanation, which sounded more like an excuse. ‘You were working all hours, Cath, always giving your all to those kids at school. Marking, most evenings, the weekends … then the planning. It wasn’t just me who’d drifted away …’

‘Teaching was my job, and I loved it, well, most of the time. I wanted to give those kids everything I could, what Adam had. Give them a chance in life, push them that bit more. Most of them would never get that kind of support at home … that’s why I did it.

But I was prepared to stop it all, give up the job I loved and step back …

for us. That’s why I left … but what was it all for?

You were already bloody well seeing someone else.

You’d already gone. There was no us left. ’

‘Oh, bugger, it’s too late, isn’t it. I’ve pushed you too far.’ There were tears in his eyes.

Cath was nodding gently. ‘Look, it doesn’t mean we have to be enemies.

Adam will always be our son, and hey, we did a good job raising him.

We need to be civil, to be a team supporting him, even if he is almost a fully grown man.

This doesn’t have to mean we don’t talk.

We don’t have to be bitter and resentful going forward. ’

‘Okay … yeah, of course. One day at a time, hey.’ He sounded accepting but also hopeful. ‘I need to earn my forgiveness, I understand that. And yes, we absolutely need to support Adam. He’s finding it hard, too … us breaking up.’

‘I know. It’s been tough all round.’ Cath nodded, suddenly feeling shattered.

She waited in silence for a second or two, the conversation.

letting their words sink in, before resuming.

‘So, how’s the old Roundhay gang? What have you all been up to lately?

’ She shifted the conversation on to safer pastures, telling him a little about Helen’s recent visit too.

After all, there was no point going around in circles talking about their relationship, when actually it very much felt to Cath like they were at the end of the road.

Watching Trevor go, she gave a small wave from her doorstep, experiencing all kinds of mixed emotions.

Her husband – ex – hopped into his car. It was still the family saloon of old; she’d half expected him to have swapped that too for some sleeker, faster model.

He nodded to her in his rear-view mirror as he held up a hand in farewell, and gave a parting toot on the horn.

A small salute to everything they’d once had, and all they had been through.

Despite it all, there was a huge lump in her throat …

and a strange pang of longing for what might have been.

Underneath all the layers of hurt and sorrow, was there still a little love left?

The past and present were at a crossroads, she told herself as she closed the cottage door.

The future, the road ahead. She had, what, perhaps thirty years ahead of her hopefully, if she had a good innings and made it into her eighties.

So, what was she going to do with that precious time?

Bloody hell, how did you decide the best way to go?

Sometimes as Cath well knew, the path wasn’t always clear, but you just had to keep on going, one foot forward, one day at a time … and always listen to your heart.