Page 20 of The Reluctant Siren (Texas Sirens: Legacy #2)

“You do not want to go in there.”

Niall sat in the afternoon light and slowly sipped his coffee. He looked his best friend over. Jensen was dressed in the sweats and T-shirt Niall had bought him at the only store within twenty minutes of this place. He did not miss Bonnet, TX. Sometimes he didn’t even recognize the place. His tiny apartment in Dallas over his gym felt far more like home. Especially now that Harlow had a toothbrush there.

Jensen stared at the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the living room. No open floor plans here. This puppy was built in the forties when women’s work needed to be hidden away so it looked like no work at all.

“We need to have a long talk with the ladies about what it means to be in a safe house,”

Jensen said.

“They are pretending like this is some fun sleepover.”

“I think that would be a huge mistake, man.”

Jensen turned his way, frowning.

“And them potentially leading Hamilton’s men right here isn’t?”

He knew there was some kind of lecture coming, but he’d kind of already gotten the answers from Ruby.

“She made sure no one was following them, and she checked her SUV for trackers.”

“Which apparently Harlow has,”

Jensen replied with a hint of outrage.

“They tagged her like she’s a dog who might go missing.”

“Or like a young woman who works in a dangerous business and wants to be found even if the assholes who might take her steal her phone.”

Niall was kind of all in on Harlow having a tracker. He wished Jensen had one. He could get an app for his phone and then always know where the people he was in a relationship with were about to die.

“Ruby says only she and Taggart know how to turn it on, and Taggart signed an NDA when Harlow agreed. He would only turn it on if she was in real danger. Ruby informed him what she did and where Harlow is, and he feels no need to let her dad in on her location.”

“But she told Harlow’s sister and cousin, and now we have a family reunion.”

Jensen started for the living room.

“They’re talking about you,”

Niall explained.

Jensen stopped, his hand on the door. He seemed to listen for a moment and then turned and grabbed a coffee mug.

“Tell me they aren’t drinking champagne. That sounded like someone popped a bottle of champagne.”

“I believe they are calling them mimosas, though they didn’t use a lot of juice. There is some. I got orange juice for breakfast.”

Niall pointed to the fridge.

“It was on sale.”

“Maybe they’re not the only ones looking at this like it’s some kind of vacation.”

Jensen stared at him.

“How are you so fucking calm?”

“I assure you being back here is not a vacation.”

It was unsettling being here. Tommy was in every room of this house. Damn but he missed that kid.

“What should I be feeling, Jensen? How should I react?”

Jensen huffed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

“I don’t know, man. Freaked out. I got us in the shittiest situation we could be in.”

His friend was not thinking big enough.

“Oh, I can think of shittier. You must have lost your powers of imagination, brother. We could be in custody. We could be arrested and blamed for a ton of stuff. We could be dead because the fed didn’t want to blow his cover. We were lucky, you know.”

“I don’t feel lucky.”

Jensen pulled out a plate and looked over the breakfast Niall made.

“When did you start cooking?”

“When I decided I wanted to eat food that didn’t come from a drive through.”

Niall took a sip of coffee and wondered if he should see if Harlow needed a warmup. Then he heard someone say no he didn’t and decided to stay right where he was.

“After we left the military I found myself eating like we did when we were in high school.”

“Turkey sandwiches and frozen pizza? It was pretty much all my momma bought. That and boxed mac and cheese.”

Jensen frowned as he sat down and stared at the plate he made for himself.

“Are these frozen?”

Now Niall was offended.

“No, it was not frozen. I can make pancakes. It’s a mix, but there are ways to enhance it. I put some vanilla and cinnamon in, and one extra egg. I usually drink a protein shake or eat an egg white omelet, but somehow today my protein intake doesn’t seem so important. Pancakes felt like the way to go.”

Jensen took a bite.

“Wow, that’s actually good. Damn, you know I’m pretty sure when I’m not at the club I also still eat like we did in high school.”

“Then I’m worried about your cholesterol, brother,”

Niall shot back.

Jensen put his fork down.

“I guess we should talk.”

Niall stared at him for a moment.

“I’ve been trying to talk for over a year. Hell, I’ve been trying to talk since Tommy died.”

He sighed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to push you. I’ve been talking to a guy at the club. He says you’ll talk about it when you’re ready. I’m worried you’re never going to be ready.”

A brow rose over Jensen’s eyes.

“Not to push me? Are you fucking kidding me? We had a three-way last night. I assure you I feel pushed.”

He was intentionally misunderstanding. Probably because he wasn’t ready to talk about what was actually wrong.

“I wasn’t talking about that. I was obviously talking about Tommy and why you’ve spent years of your life in a criminal organization. And don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy last night.”

Jensen sat back, and for a moment Niall worried he would get up and leave the room. Instead he took another bite and sighed before talking.

“Last night… I didn’t think I would like it. But I’m serious about Harlow. I’m possessive when it comes to her. I did it because I thought it was the only way I would ever get her to let me back in.”

None of this was news to him. He knew exactly why Jensen agreed to last night.

“Oh, I think that’s going to be far tougher than it looks. Last night was nothing but the opening salvo in a war we only have a few days to fight. I worry if we don’t secure her and convince her we’re good together, she’ll walk away. She has a whole family waiting for her, so we can’t use the ‘we’re all we have’ argument.”

“We are all we have,”

Jensen replied.

“You and me, I mean. I know all about Harlow’s large, kind of weird family. She talked about them a lot. But you and me, we’re it. It’s what I’ve been thinking about all freaking night. I’m trying to not be angry with you. I’m trying to understand why you wouldn’t tell me.”

This felt like progress. At least he was asking and not throwing punches. Niall would take it.

“At first I didn’t tell you because I honestly didn’t think she wanted to have anything to do with me. She was shut down when I got there. She didn’t play much and when she did it felt perfunctory, like she was going through the motions. And then one day she sat down at my table in the lounge and asked me what my story was. We started talking and I realized she was interested but wary. We started something of a friendship, but she still didn’t make a move, and I realized she had to be the one to make a move. I wasn’t sure she ever would. What would you have done if I told you I was attracted to her?”

Jensen seemed to think about the question for a moment.

“I don’t know. I didn’t have a plan for what I would do after the mission was done because I didn’t think I would survive it. At the time it seemed reasonable, and now I realize how fucked up it is. I don’t… I don’t think this is the life Tommy would have wanted for me. I never considered what he would want even though you asked me a hundred times. I told myself it didn’t matter because Tommy was fucking dead and if he wanted a say he should have stayed alive. Why am I mad at him?”

Finally he was asking the right questions. He was seeing through the fog of grief.

“Because he was your brother and he died. Because he didn’t call you when he needed help. Because we were all we had. You and me and Tommy. For most of our lives we had to watch out for each other, and he didn’t let you do your job. Of course you’re mad, but throwing your life away, throwing what we could have with that woman away, isn’t going to solve your problem. You want to punch me? I’ll take it.”

A chuckle huffed from Jensen’s chest.

“It won’t help.”

“Might make you feel better,”

Niall offered.

“I’ll take the punch and I won’t hit back. In fact, I might even cry a little.”

That got a slight smile from his best friend.

“Planning on getting Harlow to baby you?”

Niall shrugged.

“I bet it would work. Or she would punch me too and tell me to take it like a warrior. See, the thing is I don’t know that I want to be a warrior. I was for a while, and I find I prefer being a caretaker. I like making sure the gym is clean and everything is ready for the next day. I like to sit and make plans for clients. I like to think about them. Everyone’s different, you know. Everyone has a place where they’re comfortable. I like the rituals of a quiet life.”

“And I’ve lived on nothing but adrenaline for years.”

Jensen sounded tired.

“I don’t even know what to do now. If Hamilton doesn’t kill us, what the hell do I do with the rest of my life? Shouldn’t I know? Shouldn’t I have a plan?”

Not if he didn’t expect to live out the year. What his friend needed was something to live for.

“We can work on that. You would be a good personal trainer. You could do that part time while you figure it out. Or you could work investigations with Harlow.”

“I seriously doubt she’s bringing me on the team.”

“You would be surprised. She brought me on, and she didn’t want to.”

At least he thought she hadn’t. She’d been reluctant because of his inexperience.

“She would love to have backup that doesn’t include the McKay-Taggart team. Her dad might feel better if he knows she’s got solid backup. You’re ex-military.”

“And I’ve spent the last couple of years doing criminal shit.”

This was something he had to be careful about, but they needed to discuss.

“How bad is it? Legally?”

Jensen suddenly found his plate very interesting.

“I’ve managed to stay away from hurting anyone who didn’t deserve it. Anything physical has been in self-defense, but then I never got to the higher levels. So for me it was all dropping off packages I wasn’t supposed to open or ask about. I’ve absolutely aided in laundering their money.”

Niall nodded.

“Good. None of this is going to freak out a DA. They’ll give you immunity if you can turn over some good evidence.”

“I can prove the money laundering beyond a shadow of a doubt,”

Jensen offered.

“I’m sure either Jack’s team has my laptop or Phil managed to get it before Jack got there. The good news is the really damning evidence isn’t on the laptop. I had to keep it pretty clean in case someone from the organization wanted to inspect it. So I would download the real information onto a thumb drive and it’s hidden. They won’t find that. I can give it to Jack when the time comes.”

“After we find a lawyer for you.”

He wasn’t about to let Jensen give everything up without a solid offer of immunity.

“I’m going to talk to Harlow about that. She knows some people.”

“I don’t have money to pay for a lawyer,”

Jensen replied.

“They give you a lawyer if they arrest you. Turning myself in is an option we need to talk about.”

“With a lawyer who will talk to you for free since you’re connected to Harlow. Also, our princess is a moneybags. She won’t miss it at all. That’s the hardest thing. Her parents are filthy rich. It’s weird. She doesn’t act that way. It kind of freaks me out.”

“Yeah, I met what I thought was a middle-class, normal woman with an interesting career and then she’s got two billionaire dads, a trust fund that could buy the world, and a mom who’s considered a modern master painter,”

Jensen agreed.

“And I came from this.”

He gestured a hand around the worn kitchen.

“I wondered what I could offer her. I worried I was her rebellion.”

Niall shook his head.

“Nah, that’s not who she is. Honestly, from what I can tell, it’s not who her family is. And if you think she’s rich, I don’t even know what to call Gigi. Her dad is the oldest of the Dawson kids, and he apparently was a ruthless businessman. Guess who he married? A nurse from rural Colorado. At least that’s where they met. Harlow’s mom was a massage therapist when she met Ben and Chase Dawson. They’re not some elite family who only hangs with other elites. From what I can tell they’re pretty normal with the exception of the money, and she’ll pay for your lawyer even if she hates you. She’ll do it because it’s who she is.”

A sniffle caught his attention, and Niall hissed because he had not noticed Harlow had joined them.

Shit and shit. “Hey…”

“You see me that way? You genuinely think I would pay for the lawyer of the man who burned the hell out of me?”

Harlow asked, and Niall couldn’t figure out if he was in serious trouble or not.

He decided to go with honesty. He stood up.

“I think you could hate a person and still help them because you couldn’t withhold aid if you had it. I’m not talking about something small. I remember when you refused to help that friend of your sister’s fix her corset.”

“Well, I heard her call a friend of mine fat, so she could do that herself,”

Harlow shot back.

“And if she tripped and broke her wrist?”

Niall prompted because he was right about this. No matter whether she was upset with him, he would speak truth about her.

“I would do whatever I needed to in order to make sure she got help.”

Harlow moved into his space, her head tilting up as her hands went to his shoulders.

“I want to be mad at you.”

Oh, he was so in love with this woman. He put his hands on her hips, his whole body feeling electric because she was close to him.

“I’m going to make it very hard, princess. I’m going to do anything I need to do to ensure you can’t be mad at me.”

She sniffled again and then went on her toes and brushed her lips against his.

“I’m going to try hard.”

She stepped back.

“Sorry to interrupt. We’re out of juice.”

He grinned and turned to the fridge. It still worked, thank the universe. He pulled out the bottle of orange juice and passed it to her.

“Here. You need fuel to trash us.”

“I don’t think we should encourage her.”

Jensen had a frown on his face.

She huffed his way.

“Yeah, I don’t need encouragement. I have rage to keep me strong. And your way smarter friend is right. You are not talking to Jack or anyone else until we get a lawyer. My uncle doesn’t do criminal law, but I have a friend who does. Greer will talk to Travis. He’s a Taggart, by the way.”

Jensen’s head shook.

“How fucking many of them are there?”

“It’s an army,”

she conceded.

“Also, he’s a baby lawyer, but he’ll know what to do. Now I have some assholes to trash to my friends.”

Niall winked her way.

“You have fun, princess.”

She winked back and then turned and gave them both her middle finger before walking through the doorway.

Damn but she was pretty.

“She’s asking for it.”

Jensen’s dark expression turned his way.

“I don’t like that she kissed you and she didn’t kiss me. She should have kissed me, too. Isn’t that how it works?”

Oh, they had finally gotten to the portion of the talk he was most interested in.

“Nope. We have our own relationships with her, and she is not expected to keep some chart where she divvies out her affection in a perfect fifty/fifty fashion. You want her to kiss you, tempt her.”

“What if I sleep with her when you’re not around?”

Niall shrugged.

“I hope you have a good time, and I will try to tempt her to sleep with me, too. Though I suspect a lot of the sex will be the three of us. I don’t intend to let her live on her own for long. I’m going to work extremely hard to get the three of us in an apartment quickly. Think of this time not as a traumatic experience, but rather as a trial run. We need her to never want to be without us.”

“I don’t think I know how to do that,”

Jensen admitted.

“I’m way better at pushing her away.”

“Okay, we’re not going to do that anymore. I know you don’t think this can work. I know you think you want her for yourself,”

Niall began.

“I don’t know,”

Jensen interrupted.

“I love her. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, but I think loving her scares me because I’ll fuck it up. I’ll hurt her.”

“I won’t let you. Or if you do, we’ll work on it. And she’ll always have me, too. Think about that. You can rely on me. Now that doesn’t work if you think you can come in and blow her mind with sex and leave everything else to me.”

Jensen held up a hand.

“I don’t want that. If we’re going to do this thing, I want to be a fully functional member of the family, and I’ll do what I need to in order to be that man. You said you were talking to someone.”

He was not going to cry. Niall nodded slowly.

“I am. He’s an expert at family trauma and PTSD. He’s roughly our age and he works at a place called the Ferguson Clinic. He plays at The Hideout, so he’s lifestyle friendly.”

Jensen grimaced.

“Is he another Taggart?”

Oh, he was going to have to get used to those, but at least he could spare him this time.

“No. His dad is the head of Julian’s security. I think you’ll like him.”

“And I want to learn to cook, too.”

Jensen seemed to be building steam for this new life they were facing.

“I shouldn’t be eating nothing but sandwiches, and I don’t want it all to fall on you. Harlow… She’s not good in the kitchen.”

Oh, he knew.

“Yes, but when she gets it in her head to try, we have to smile and thank her. And eat it all.”

“All right,”

Jensen agreed.

“Now sit and let’s talk about how to take her down. She’s going to be stubborn.”

Niall took his seat.

“Yeah, but we’re going to be sneaky and smart.”

He picked up his fork. He was hungry again.