Page 36 of The Reclusive Earl’s Scandal (Vows and Vanity #1)

“I said good night !”

The shout rang out through the ballroom, silencing even the orchestra that played. The dances ground to a halt, guests turned to listen to the commotion, and Lord Billy looked over his shoulder, smirking.

Rebecca stared, shocked, as Edward ran away from Catherine after batting her hand away. Everybody had seen it. Now, her former friend had burst into tears loudly, dramatically , and Mary had hurried over to her.

“Goodness, Thornshire has not changed at all, has he?” Lord Billy muttered.

He turned back to her, laughing. He shook his head, as if amused yet not surprised, but the silence behind him fell too heavily. Rebecca’s chest tightened as she looked between Catherine and Edward. What happened? Who did she need to follow?

She went to excuse herself, but Lord Billy stepped directly in her path. “He always was easily provoked, though, was he not?”

“Lord Thornshire?” A frown tugged her features.

Lord Billy hummed. “Yes. Ah, then again, you two have not spoken in years, if rumour is to be believed.” He hesitated long enough for her to nod her confirmation. “After you two so cruelly abandoned me as part of your little childish friendship group...”

“We did not...”

“Thornshire grew up, and grew angry,” he finished, ignoring her protest. “This…” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, unbothered.

“Is nothing new to me. It should not be new to anybody. The man keeps himself wound up as tight as a clock ready to chime. He is bound to lash out.” He inhaled sharply, looking at Rebecca with wide eyes as though something occurred to him.

“Goodness, I do hope that is not what you have signed yourself up for if you do not know of his temperament.”

“Of course, I know of it,” she said quickly, smoothing over the concern that knotted uncomfortably in her stomach. Her eyes strayed to where Edward had disappeared from the ballroom, flushed and angry. “I must check...”

“Leave him be,” Lord Billy interrupted. “From my own experience, he needs to calm himself down. It is not very nice for him to leave you alone, though. Allow me to take up your time with a dance. Truly, you will not want to see this side of Thornshire, not until he recalls where he is. I have heard people describe it as he… he loses himself. Completely detaches, and everything normal is replaced by anger.”

Or fear and panic , Rebecca though, but didn’t voice, for what did she truly know? She had spoken with him so much, but he had kept as much close to his chest as she had, and they had only scratched the surface of what made him retreat from society.

Lord Billy watched her face. “Lady Rebecca, this is why he hid out in his country estate. He could not handle the consequences of his own, violent outbursts. A pitiful beast hides after he attacks, unable to deal with his guilt. A true man would face it, would apologise to poor Lady Catherine, but…” He sucked in a breath.

“I only hope you understand who you are giving your life to.”

“I do,” Rebecca answered firmly, but she wondered if she truly did.

People looked at her discreetly, judging her based on his outburst. She couldn’t help wondering if they whispered the same things that Lord Billy confronted her with.

“I do not want to dance, but I do want to know what happened to him.”

If he wouldn’t tell her, if he would rather put on a facade than open up to his feelings, then she had to find out wherever she could. At least that was what she hoped. Lord Billy and Edward had been friends once; surely he knew better than her.

“When we were adolescents,” Lord Billy began, “ah, probably no younger than fifteen, I would wager, Thornshire just… he turned. He started acting out, storming away from conversations, causing arguments and fights alike. I would steal his hat in jest, and he would snap at me for it. He would lash out at me, so I would trip him, and then I would be the one face-down in the mud, crying out for help. He was… he turned ruthless.”

Rebecca reared back. She couldn’t compose herself well enough to mask her surprise and distress from her face. Her lip curled.

“Ruthless?”

“The man is angry,” Lord Billy said simply. “He has never learned to control it. All I want to do is warn you, Lady Rebecca. He might not be as honest as you think. As good as you think. Most men have their dark sides. Do not ignore his.”

Rebecca couldn’t help the way her anguish spread through her.

She backed away, troubled. “I must go to him. I do not care if he is not calm.” She thought of how benevolently he told her that she helped relax him.

Was this how? Did she stave off his anger?

But if so, what happened when it became Rebecca who caused his anger?

She had seen how quickly he had snapped at Lady Elena, and even if that was justified due to the young lady’s comments, she was still his sister.

She fled the ballroom, followed by shocked whispers and gasps.

She heard both of their names, and tears stung her eyes as she tried to block it all out.

Edward had stood by her through scandal even if he was wound into it; she could not turn her back on him now.

Even if she was concerned that she truly didn’t know half of Edward’s character, she had to seek him out.

But when she burst out into the front of the Reeves’ townhouse, Edward was nowhere to be seen. Her stomach dropped as she peered down the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Thornshire carriage. Everywhere was empty, and there was no sign of her betrothed.

Still troubled, she turned to seek out her own carriage, but she paused at the sight of something silver glimmering on the floor behind a potted plant.

It was in the shadows, just to the right of the main door.

Rebecca moved closer to look, stooping down to find the cravat Edward had been wearing that evening.

She thought of one of his flustered moments, how he either tugged at his coat sleeves or his cravat, as if both suffocated him. Tucking it into her reticule, Rebecca hastily made her leave. There was nothing inside for her now that Edward had departed.

Once she was home, in bed, having fielded her mother’s barrage of questions about the ball and how it was to be seen as a betrothed couple for the first time, Rebecca tucked the length of fabric beneath her pillow.

A chill had followed her, a hollow ache, at the knowledge that he had simply left her behind.

Rebecca drifted into a dreamless, fitful sleep.

Too many questions remained but one kept recurring: was this what her married life would be like with Edward?

***

Rebecca’s hand paused above her embroidery circle when she heard the creak of footsteps in the doorway behind her. She knew it was not her father, for he had not changed his behavior and had slept in his study after a heavy night of drinking, and would likely not rouse until midday.

The steps were too heavy for her brothers, sisters, or mother, so that left one person who would simply be shown to her presence.

Edward.

Her shoulders stiffened, and she continued embroidering, content to ignore him for now.

He didn’t let their silence linger for very long.

“Rebecca.” His voice broke, hoarser than it had been the evening before. Before he had shouted at Catherine, before he had left Rebecca in the wake of his outburst. “Will you turn to look at me?”

“I do not see why I should,” she answered pettily. “After all, you were content not to look at me last night when you left me alone at the ball.”

“I know,” he admitted quietly. “I am sorry. I...I should have controlled myself better.”

Rebecca took another moment for herself before turning to face him. What awaited her was not a man with a dark anger that he shut away for the most part. She faced a ruined man, as helpless looking as he had been the day she had first seen him to discuss their betrothal.

“Edward,” she whispered. She moved closer to him, and was thankful when he didn’t step back. “Edward, I… What happened? You—you were angry. You struck Catherine.”

He cringed, his face flushing. His eyes couldn’t quite meet hers. “I had a terrible lapse in composure,” he admitted. “A moment of being too warm, of… of just...I think I had too much excitement from dancing, and I got ahead of myself.”

“I asked you not to pretend with me,” Rebecca reminded him, hurt.

“I did not come to discuss the ball,” he quickly said. “In fact, aside from my missing cravat, I would rather forget about it.”

Rebecca bit her tongue and didn’t mention she had brought it home, feigning innocence. “You have lost it?”

He nodded sharply. “I pulled it off when I left the ball. I must have dropped it on my way into the carriage. I imagine somebody had snatched it up, perhaps sold the good material for some money.” He only paused, not looking at all offended at the idea, before he spoke again.

“I actually came to invite you. I want to take you to the opera. It is my way of apologising for leaving you behind, but I did also have the tickets already. I know you love music, so I thought, perhaps, it could be a way to simply… be with one another without others approaching us. At least at the opera we are not the centers of attention.”

Edward’s small, vulnerable smile made Rebecca falter, but she was already nodding. “I will go, but I am angry with you.”

“I know you are.” He looked down regretfully. “And I… just please know that all I am doing is in an effort to get better. Sometimes that effort can spring back and strike me.”

Rebecca bit her lip, not knowing what to say to that. Lord Billy’s warnings still rang in her head, but she didn’t dare voice anything she thought. How could she, when he looked so wrecked by his own mind already?

“I will pick you up tonight,” he promised her. “I will not keep you waiting.”