Page 33 of The Reclusive Earl’s Scandal (Vows and Vanity #1)

“And what are you doing to him?” Catherine snapped. “We both heard you, Mary and I, speak about needing a husband wealthy enough. You did like Harry Maudley, and had to drop his attention in search of a wealthy husband.”

“And I have been honest to Lord Thornshire about what our marriage will be,” Rebecca whispered harshly. “You did not have one honest bone in your body during your dances with him.” She hesitated, shaking her head. “I wish you both all the best for the remainder of your Season.”

“You can only hold your head high because you stole my perfect match,” Catherine spat, her mouth sneering in a way that made her look ugly.

Rebecca had never thought of her friend as anything but beautiful, yet her bitterness and jealousy looked terrible on her.

“Otherwise, you would be desperate like the rest of us.”

Desperate.

It was true that it happened to the best of ladies, desperation and the ton ’s pressure dug claws in and pressured everybody to make a match.

The most eligible ladies snatched up the most handsome gentlemen, while the others were left to pick who they could, landing in loveless marriages.

Most were loveless, Rebecca had to remember that.

“You act like I have gotten everything I want,” she muttered. “I did not get my love match. I am marrying a dear friend, yes, but I ached for romance.”

Catherine scoffed, blinking at her. “Rebecca if you do not think you have got that then you must look a little closer at your betrothed. If you do not see how he looks at you, then perhaps you do not deserve him.”

Rebecca reared away. For a moment, she stood stock-still in shock, not able to think through the words.

Not when they swirled with Edward’s confession of loving her.

Her breath came faster, and she turned around, as if thinking she would see him.

But this was not a ballroom where he would be conveniently there, and she only stumbled back from her friends or rather former friends, and their truths.

She shook her head.

I love you, Rebecca.

If you do not see how he looks at you…

Look a little closer at your betrothed…

Guilt anchored in her as she rushed from the park. She had ensnared him into the marriage to save her family, to protect them both from the marriage market, and yet…

Had she somehow tricked him into loving her? Had she spurred something in him that she could not return? Could she?

Fleeing the park, Rebecca did not even bother climbing back into her carriage. Instead, she chose to walk home, and by the time she reached Bancroft Manor she was more clear-headed, perspiring, and walked with a heavier heart than she should have ahead of her wedding.

Lottie prepared a bath for her, and Rebecca ducked beneath the surface, letting the water tug away her tumultuous thoughts. Closing her eyes against the sting of bathwater, Rebecca tried to let the tension release from her body. She blocked out everything she could.

When she next surfaced, those words came back into her head: I love you, Rebecca.

***

She spent the next day lost in her thoughts.

Over breakfast, her mother spoke to her about wedding plans, and how Lady Thornshire had sent word that Edward had met with the bishop to obtain a license.

Rebecca ought to have been thrilled; it meant she was a step closer to security in her future, and with Edward at her side.

But the knot in her stomach that had wound ever since he had become more distant only grew tighter. The license was a reminder that their marriage would be anything but normal.

I do not know why I am getting so wound up about it , she thought angrily.

It is only a marriage of convenience. I knew this from the start .

Yet if she did, why did she ache so much at it all?

She couldn’t pin down what hurt exactly, but she knew something did.

It had dug deep, and that feeling only pushed her to leave breakfast early and ride her carriage to Thornshire House.

She had to know if Edward’s distance was directly due to his lack of interest in their arrangement.

He may have changed his mind. She had to know why things had altered so suddenly.

As soon as she entered the house, seen in by his butler, she found Edward already on the staircase, coming down as he buttoned up his tailcoat. Today, it was a beautiful deep gray color, and his hair shined, soft and loose, around his shoulders. He looked so handsome that Rebecca’s breath caught.

She marveled at him before she yanked herself back into something more composed.

Heavens , she thought, blushing.

“Rebecca?” Edward asked, moving closer. “Whatever is...”

“Are you certain you still want to marry me?” she blurted out.

“I have asked you to take on a lot, I know, and I do not wish to use you, but I also want you to know that I have come clean to you about everything. I acknowledge that I was not entirely honest, and I have played the marriage market to my advantage, but you...you have changed all that for me. I want you to know that I have no doubts, but I must know if you do. If this betrothal is already wearing you down, if you cannot endure the weight of what has come with our arrangement, then please tell me and we shall break it off before it can begin.”

She heaved in a ragged breath. Around, the hallway was silent.

Edward only gazed back at her. For several infuriating seconds she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and worry nestled in her chest. A demand to be spoken to was on her lips when he grasped her elbows, tugging her sideways.

Rebecca let out a surprised noise as she stumbled, but found his touch gentle, only unexpected.

Once he had ushered her into the drawing room, he stopped and closed the door and she held her breath.

A warning of her propriety built on her tongue, but before she could say any of it, Edward was there, right in front of her, his face pained and tight.