Page 31 of The Reclusive Earl’s Scandal (Vows and Vanity #1)

I love you, Rebecca .

The proclamation followed Rebecca into her dreams as well as her waking hours over the next three days.

Trying not to read into them too greatly was a big effort, and she kept reminding herself that friends could love one another.

That she was not worthy of Edward’s love, a man who risked so much of himself to be present, a man with a kind heart and generous thoughts.

Thinking of the way Edward had stilled right after his confession distracted her from her embroidery as she sat in the sun room.

It had been three days since he had seen her home safely in his own carriage.

Her heart beat faster as she looked towards her father’s study.

Once again, Edward was in there, meeting with him.

What for, Rebecca did not know.

Perhaps arrangements for a betrothal ball?

Ideally, she did not want one. She knew Edward loathed such things, and she was in no mood to celebrate with a room full of people who were gossiping incessantly about her, but it was customary to host such an event.

If their mothers had anything to do with it there would be a ball.

She was startled when Mr. Kingsley came into the room to summon her to her father’s study. Following him, Rebecca tried to steady herself. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so nervous, but she stood her ground as she entered the study, both men turning to face her.

“Rebecca, come and join us,” her father invited, and she swallowed hard, nodding.

Edward’s shoulders were relaxed, nothing like the stiff tension with which he had agreed to their proposal.

Rebecca sat in the chair next to Edward, her gaze fixed on her father.

She could not bring herself to look at her betrothed, not since he had told her he loved her and they had not had a chance to speak about it.

Part of her did not want to know. Part of her wanted to know more than anything.

“Lord Thornshire and I have been… discussing your dowry.”

Heavens, he is upset that I told Edward the intricacies of our finances. Her palms sweated, and the walls grew smaller, and Rebecca feared she could not breathe easily.

“I am a proud man,” her father said tightly, “but I am thankful Lord Thornshire has approached me about this.” Shame colored her father’s cheeks. On his desk, his fingers clasped together, white-knuckled. “I must admit, in front of you, Rebecca, that I do not have the money for your dowry.”

Rebecca really should not have been surprised, but she still felt unexpectedly furious. For she had worried and she had known , but her father had repeatedly lied and told her all was well. She had begged him to prevent this very thing from happening, and he had ignored her.

Before she could seethe out her anger, her father held up a hand to ask for her to wait.

“I must admit my mistakes, for I know them without you voicing them, Rebecca,” he told her.

“You are so well-composed when you wish to be,” she whispered, hurt. “Yet you can be so ruinous at other times.”

She hated how matter-of-fact he spoke, as if he could distance himself from the blame. Her father’s gaze dropped before it turned back to her, ignoring her comment otherwise.

“I admit I had hoped to hold Lord Thornshire off regarding processing the dowry. I was certain a payment from an associate would have come in time for me to uphold my word after your wedding, but your betrothed wanted to assure me that there is no need for worry.” He glanced at the earl, laughing without true humor.

“It is more understanding than I deserve. Rebecca, you have found a good match. I was also wrong to tell you to marry Harry Maudley.”

Because you want Edward’s money , she thought. She kept her smile in place, pleasant, and polite.

“Thank you,” she said graciously.

“I wish you both luck,” he told them, looking between the two of them. “Rebecca, I am proud of you. And Lord Thornshire, my financial troubles aside, I truly am happy to welcome you into the family.”

My family that feels like a great mess .

“Your father was a good man,” the duke said.

“And I know he would have approved of this match. In turn, I give my blessing too. I think that if he could see you now, Lord Thornshire, he would be more than proud of who you have become and what you have done. He would be happy to see our families united like this.”

His voice cracked, and Rebecca looked at her father in a new light for a moment.

Her bitterness banked, for his words did not sound insincere.

She was too young to recall the late earl, or the friendship he’d had with her father, but she knew her father did not possess many other friends, if any.

How much had the late earl’s death affected him?

Had he chased grief away with his bottles of poison?

With a strained voice, Edward said, “thank you, Your Grace.”

“You may call me Dominic.” Rebecca’s father stood up. He shook Edward’s hand as if the whole thing was a transaction, a business deal to make, and Rebecca was discreetly glad that Edward looked uncomfortable to treat it as such.

Afterwards, Edward drew her into the hallway, leaving the duke to his accounts.

Rebecca had given her father a touch of silent treatment for how unethical and careless he had been, for his lies, even if he had shown remorse.

She wasn’t entirely certain she believed anything would change through that remorse, but she had some hope.

“And now,” Edward murmured, “you must face my family.”

“I have already done that,” she laughed.

“Not Elena. Not properly.”

“Ah.” She winced. Her mind tripped on a question; what did you mean when you told me you loved me? B ut it seemed he was content not to bring it up, so she swallowed her words back.

“Come for dinner tonight,” he offered. “After all, Thornshire House will be your new home soon enough. I can show you the gallery, the gardens, the music room…” He trailed off, his mouth quirking, knowing they were all things that would very much work to entice her.

“Of course, I will,” she said. “And I will be on my best behaviour around Lady Elena.”

“It is not your behaviour that ever concerns me,” he sighed, and then bowed to her.

For a moment, his hand was on hers, warm and stirring something within her stomach.

His thumb brushed over her skin, and her breath caught.

Before the warmth could take full root in her, Edward stood up and retreated, nodding his farewell to her.

Blue eyes held hers for one last second before he was gone.

In the silence, Rebecca wondered how a marriage intended only for convenience could feel so overwhelming at times, as if there was too much crammed in her heart for her to feel easily.

***

The day after, Rebecca settled her spoon on her saucer after stirring two sugars into her tea.

When she looked up, she found Lady Elena’s attention on her, her mouth pinched as if she had tasted something sour.

Rebecca gave a nervous laugh. “I like sweet things.”

Edward laughed, looking between the two of them, while the Countess of Thornshire beamed at Rebecca.

“As do I! We shall have many lovely afternoon teas once you are wed. You know, Her Grace and I used to have many afternoon teas together. I, unfortunately, withdrew from them greatly when I lost my husband, but I do miss such things. Perhaps the four of us could have a get-together.”

“Four?” Lady Elena asked. “I do hope you are not counting me as one.”

“Well, if you had been left out then we would not have heard the end of it,” Edward muttered, as if he didn’t mean for his sister to hear, but didn’t mind if she did. The young lady’s intimidating stare caught on him instead, a hiss slipping through her teeth.

“I would like that,” Rebecca said. “For the four of us.”

“Three,” Lady Elena corrected rudely. “I do not wish to be involved in such things.”

“Elena.” Edward’s voice came out as a warning, low and composed, yet it was clear that he would not be listened to.

The more Rebecca looked at Lady Elena the more she saw her as she was: a girl who had known she was part of a pair, a raven without her twin, as Edward had said.

She looked as though she tried to keep her chin up, keep her strength about her, but her mouth twitched with distaste.

“I do not see why I must go along with it,” she snapped. “It is no secret I do not like...”

“That is enough, Elena.” The countess’s voice spoke over the girl’s complaint. “We are in the company of a duke’s daughter. Your brother has chosen Lady Rebecca. I approve, I know your father would approve, and I find your opinion inconsequential.”

Rebecca glanced at Edward long enough to see the surprise striking his face, as if he was not used to hearing his sister get berated. Rebecca tried to catch his eye to no avail, but she dropped her attention back to her tea. Her stomach had knotted with nerves, but she dutifully drank.

“I recall you have many siblings, Lady Rebecca,” the countess said, grasping for a change of topic.

“Four, yes.” Rebecca nodded. “The one after me will be making her debut next Season.”

“That is wonderful! Only one year behind Lady Elena. Perhaps the two can become friends.”

“I am friends with Lady Catherine,” Lady Elena answered sharply, making Rebecca flinch. So am I. Or I used to be. She didn’t know if Lady Elena had a hand in the rumors circulating about her, and she wasn’t certain she wanted to find out, but she swallowed back her questions. Now was not the time.

Instead, she turned her gaze to Edward. His jaw was tight, as it often was, and for so long there had been a tension settled into him, something that seemed to prevent him from relaxing around her.

She didn’t know if she’d caused it, or if it was the realization that everything was finally coming to end for him, and he was merely processing it.