Page 37 of The Question of Us (Fisher & Church #2)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Madigan

When Gazza announced that he was heading to bed around eight thirty, he made a big song and dance out of telling us to keep the noise down and that we should be conserving energy and not jostling our wrinkled bodies in the bedroom, inviting a heart attack.

In response, Nick chased him into his unit, waving an unimpressive paring knife, and Gazza squealed and locked the door behind him.

Mission accomplished.

A few minutes later, Nick and I rolled into bed and started streaming some inane low-budget action movie that I couldn’t have told you the name of if you’d paid me.

As distractions went, it failed dismally, and it wasn’t long before Nick rolled me onto my side and pulled me back against his warm body.

His knees tucked behind mine and his cock nudged gently at my crease, comforting but with little intent.

“Mmm.” I wriggled contentedly and his arm tightened around my waist, his cock firming.

He groaned and gave a little thrust, whispering, “If you don’t stop moving, you’re gonna get more than you bargained for. We’re supposed to be getting an early night.”

I thought about that very sensible reminder for all of two seconds, then rolled my arse around his groin.

He gave a filthy groan in response. “Jesus Christ. Could you be any less subtle?”

I chuckled and elbowed him gently. “Less talk, more action. I do believe you mentioned something about it being game on?”

“I have no intention of fucking you,” he murmured, nibbling his way into my hairline and along to my ear, sending my thoughts scattering.

“I want to take my time with that and not be stressed about anything. Tonight is not that night.” He suckled on the lobe of my ear, sending jolts of electricity zinging to my southern regions.

“Oh god.” I groaned as his hand travelled down my belly to wrap around my dick.

I wasn’t in the least disappointed in his proclamation.

I wanted that too. Time and no stress. “Sounds good to me.” I gasped as he played with the head to secure a little moisture before starting a slow stroke that rocketed my arousal from casual interest to right the fuck now in about a minute flat.

“Damn, that feels amazing.” Nick’s determined cock found the warm channel of my crease and he began to rock, his breath stuttering beside my ear.

Try as I might, I couldn’t keep from thrusting into his hand, it was just too good, even if it upset his rhythm.

He gave a soft snort. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?

Now, behave. You’re not running this show.

” He tightened his free arm around my waist to anchor me and make his point.

Then with a bit of fancy handwork and repositioning, he got us back in synch, and bliss rolled through my brain rendering me putty in his hands.

With every rock of his hips, Nick’s dick slid up my crease to graze my hole while at the same time sending my cock through his tight fist. The reverse motion was equally sensational, the drag and slide breathtaking in its ability to sever my brain from any rational thought.

Senses jangling. Body on fire. His cock.

His hand. His breath on my ear. His filthy groans.

The scent of our sex. Too much. Too much.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Nick’s voice rumbled in my ear.

Good for him. It was four words more than I could manage, so I settled for a grunt that I hoped conveyed my absolute agreement and returned to focusing on the delicious sensation of being the trembling meat in some erotic sandwich I couldn’t get enough of.

So close. So close. Teetering on the edge.

“Tighter,” I croaked, and Nick’s grip firmed, his pace quickening, the intensity of his back and forth ratcheting up until all I knew was him —around, in front, over, and behind me.

His skin fired hot against mine. His arm a tight vise around my waist, almost too much to bear.

Groans of pleasure rumbled in my ear. His teeth nipped my shoulder.

Everything firmer, harder, faster. His body tense at my back.

My cock swelling in his grip. The burn of orgasm building and building until it was right there and I slammed my face into the pillow to muffle the cry, pleasure detonating through my body as I spilled into his hand, my body jerking, my breath in stuttering gasps.

With a white-knuckled grip around my waist, Nick thrust one last time and held it, grunting against my shoulder as his balls emptied, a warm flush of fluid slicking that final slide home.

And when he was done, when we were both done, he maintained his hold, pressing kisses to my neck and shoulders, his open hand covering the spill on my belly, his hips rocking in a barely there to and fro, gentler, smoother, slick and easy, until his cock softened and a long hot sigh washed over my skin.

“God damn you, Madigan Church,” he whispered against my neck, making no attempt to hide the raw emotion in his voice.

“Roll over.” He released his death grip on my waist and I turned in his arms. He cradled my face and kissed me softly.

Not once, but over and over, stopping now and then to study my face like he was taking everything in for the first time.

When he was done, he looked at me long and hard, serious and calculating, until I started to think that maybe there was something wrong. Maybe I’d done something wrong.

Then he smiled and said, “You take my fucking breath away, do you know that?”

I blinked, heat flooding my cheeks. “I... um...” I tried to look away, but Nick held me in place.

“I asked if you knew that?” he repeated, that serious look back in place. “If you have any idea what you do to me? How gorgeous you are? How exciting? How smart and sexy? How brave and kind? And how much I fucking care about you?”

I swallowed hard. “I...” But the words still wouldn’t come, chased into the shadows by decades of disappointment.

I drew a deep breath and tried again. “Jesus, Nick. You can’t say things like that.

I’m just a middle-aged uninteresting book conservator trying to do the right thing in life and not fuck up too much, and I’m fine with that.

I appreciate the thought behind your kind words, but I know who I am and I came to terms with that a long time ago.

The fact you see me differently is...

flattering. But it’s a fantasy that quite frankly scares me, because I can’t live up to it and I don’t want to. ”

Nick’s eyes never left my face but he went quiet for a moment, his expression grave, maybe even.

.. Was that disappointment on his face?

My heart sank. Shit. I’d done it again. Was this going to be another of those moments, like all the ones in my past, when someone I cared about finally realised I wasn’t what they wanted.

That they couldn’t change me into what they hoped for.

Fear kicked in, and a voice I thought I was done with resurfaced in my brain to whisper that familiar and oddly comforting poison.

You knew this was coming. It always does.

Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t, caught in the soft grey web of Nick’s eyes.

Waiting, waiting, until finally he spoke.

“You know what’s really sad, sweetheart?” Nick ran his thumb across my lips. “I can tell that you genuinely believe those words.”

I wanted to cry but I swallowed it down.

And like he could read my mind, Nick’s expression turned on a dime and opened right up, inviting me in, no walls, no games.

Like he wanted me to see the truth of what he was about to say, and I couldn’t look away.

“Not that long ago, you looked me in the eye and said that you could see me in here.” He tapped my forehead.

“And feel me in here.” He placed his hand over my heart.

“Meaning I couldn’t hide from you. You also said that I had so much more to give and assured me I’d be okay.

That everything was going to be okay. Do you remember? ”

Like it was yesterday. It was just after we’d kissed for the first time. A kiss that meant everything. I’d known in that single moment exactly how much trouble I was truly in with this man. Trouble I was still drowning in. “I remember.”

He gave a wry smile and slid his arms around my waist. “Well, now it’s my turn, so listen up.”

He waited until I was paying one hundred percent attention. Like I could give him anything less. He had my heart in a stranglehold, and I could only hope he felt even a little of that in return.

He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and a soft smile played over his lips.

“You are so much more than you think you are, Madigan Delaney Church. So much more than you’ve been told you are by all those clueless men from your past. They didn’t deserve you and they can’t have you.

You’re mine now. You have so much more to give and you’re gonna be okay.

” He pressed his forehead to mine and repeated, “You’re gonna be okay.

We’re gonna be okay. And if you can’t believe all those things I said about you right in this moment, that’s just fine.

I’ll believe in them for you. And I’ll keep repeating them for as long as it takes until you believe them too. ”

God, this man. Nick’s face blurred and I lost the fight against my tears.

He huffed softly and kissed each of my eyes in turn.

Then his mouth covered mine in a tender, leisurely kiss, like he had all the time in the world.

Like we had all the time in the world. Time to make things right.

For me to heal. For me to maybe even love myself a little as well.

To believe in that seemingly misplaced certainty Nick had about who I was. Just like I’d done with him.

Because Nick Fisher had a bit of self-growth to accomplish as well.

Maybe that was something we could give to each other.

Be each other’s true north. A compass to truth.

A person who saw the man in front of them more clearly than they saw themselves.

Of course, that would mean Nick was right about me just like I was about him.

It seemed impossible. Then again, I figured he felt the same.

By the time Nick was done with my mouth, evening shadows striped the bed and the air conditioning unit softly rumbled on the wall.

Neither of us seemed willing to break the silence, happy to lie in each other’s arms, the television muted, the images flickering on the walls and over our closed eyelids.

When I finally opened my eyes again, Nick was watching me. I ran a finger down his nose and over his lips to the divot in his chin. “I think it can safely be said we’re even-stevens on the whole fucking thing, because that bag of tricks you pulled out tonight definitely counts.”

He winked. “I warned you it was game on.”

My eye roll made him laugh. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, mister. I’ve barely even started on you. The other night was just a taster.”

Nick waggled his eyebrows. “I beg to differ. The other night was a feast.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “We were both starved for company in our beds. Food to a hungry man, right?”

He grinned. “Personally, I think it was more about the cook and less about the food.”

The idea that he had been thinking of what we’d shared in the same way that I had gave me the courage to say, “I think maybe you’re right. And if anything should happen to either of us tomorrow night, I want?—”

“No,” he whispered, pressing a finger to my lips. “We are not going to do this. Nothing’s going to happen.”

The words dried on my tongue and I shot him a look. “You can’t know that. Gazza needs to be in and out of that house as quick as he can. The longer he’s there—the longer you’re both there—the greater the chance it will all go to shit.”

Nick nodded. “I won’t argue with you about that.

The riskiest part will be trying to get Lee alone to talk.

Until then, Gazza is just another partygoer.

Nothing to see here, folks. And it’s not like Lee is going to need more time to decide on our offer.

He’s had a few days already to think about it.

He’ll either be receptive or not. He’ll happily take the prepaid phone or he won’t.

Either way, I’m guessing any conversation will be over and done with quickly.

If Lee is interested, and that’s a big if, any further discussion can be over the phone.

Taking all that into consideration, I reckon we’ll be in and out of there in an hour, tops. It’ll be fine.”

It was not fine.

Not even close.