Page 12 of The Question of Us (Fisher & Church #2)

CHAPTER FIVE

Madigan

“Stay there,” I ordered. “I’m not done. Clearing-the-air conversation, part two.

” I put my hands on my hips. “Where’s your head at in relation to sex?

No bullshit and no long-winded convoluted explanations.

Single syllables will do just nicely. I’m still down with the go-slow thing, although if you light a match anywhere near my dick right now, I’m gonna blow like Krakatoa. ”

Nick blinked and shuffled into a sit. “Oh... ah... well...” His cheeks puffed as he blew out a breath. “Still yes to the go-slow. I’m not quite there yet.”

I frowned and flicked my fingers. “I’ll need more than that.”

He sighed. “Okay. Okay. I’m worried I’ll fuck it up.”

My head fell back. “Give me strength.” Then I looked at him again, wary now. “Is it a me thing? Can I do something to help?”

Nick flushed bright pink, something rarely seen on the man. “No, no. It’s not that. Ugh, hear me out.” He wriggled back against the bedhead. “I haven’t been with a man other than Davis since we met.”

I sat on the mattress beside him and did the math. Fifteen years, give or take. The thought of being the one to break that fast was admittedly somewhat daunting. “And you think you’ve forgotten how to, is that it?”

Nick rolled his eyes. “No, arsehole. I’m scared I might freak out and do something stupid like say his name instead of yours, you know, from habit.

” His gaze skittered off my face. “I wouldn’t mean it, just because there hasn’t been anyone else.

It’s possible, right? And I don’t want to screw this up just because I can’t keep my fucking head straight, which you have to admit, all things considered, is a valid concern. ”

I paused, considering what my reaction would be if the name thing actually happened.

“Yeah, okay. Point taken. But just so you know, I won’t freak out if you say Davis’s name instead of mine a couple of times as we start down this path.

If you’re still doing it in a month’s time, then yeah, maybe we’ll need a conversation.

To be honest, I’m kind of hoping the two of us aren’t that similar in bed. ”

Nick seemed to find that amusing. “Yeah, I’m not expecting that either.”

I arched a brow. “I’d like to revisit this particular subject in more detail one day, if you’re up to it.”

He laughed. “We can do that.”

“Good, because I’m not some insecure kid, Nick. I get this whole business is tricky, for both of us, but I can actually hold several complicated thoughts and emotions in my head at the same time.”

He chuckled, as I intended. “Yeah, I had noticed that about you.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ears and cupped my face. “I want this with you, Mads. I want you.”

A slow smile spread over my face. “Well, you’re in luck then, because I happen to want you back.

But I want to be really clear about one thing.

I can’t handle any more of this back-and-forth game you’ve been doing.

We’re doing this together or we’re not doing it at all. No more shutting me out, got it?”

Nick’s expression softened and filled with affection. “Got it.”

“Excellent.” I stood and unbuttoned my jeans, letting them fall in a puddle to the floor, quickly joined by my briefs. Nick’s eyes widened in uncertainty, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down like he was readying to bolt. I almost laughed.

“Ah... Mads?” Nick swallowed hard, his gaze locked on my thickening dick. “I’m not sure I’m quite ready—” A guttural sound rumbled up his throat as I tugged on my cock.

“Now, I know we agreed to go slow—” I continued to play with my dick as Nick watched, eyes boggling. “—but there’s a continuum of unexplored options between simply making out and fucking each other through the mattress. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Nick swallowed and nodded without lifting his eyes.

I grinned. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes.” He answered like he’d swallowed a can of rocks.

“Good boy.” I threaded my fingers through his hair. “Then I believe it’s time we ticked off a few of those, just for research purposes. Switch up a gear, so to speak. Nothing too fancy. Just a bit of voyeurism. Win-win, right?”

His eyes finally lifted to mine and a slow sexy smile spread over his face. “Just for research purposes.”

“Exactly.” I pulled my T-shirt over my head and goosebumps lit up over my skin as Nick’s heated gaze roamed over my naked body. “So, I’m going to take a shower.”

“A shower,” he repeated vaguely, licking his lips at the sight of my hardening cock.

It was all I could do not to laugh. “Yes, I believe that’s what I said. And on the shelf in said shower is a bottle of lube, as I think you well know.”

That caught his attention and his curious gaze snapped back to mine. “Lube. Gotcha.”

I pulled open the drawer in the bedside table and removed my one and only dildo. “Nick, meet Oscar.” I waved the silicon dildo slowly past his face.

He barked out a laugh. “Last name Wilde, I presume?”

I waggled my brows. “The one and only. To be clear, I’m not asking you to join me in the shower—refer back to taking things slow—but I am issuing an invitation to watch, if the idea appeals to you.” I met him stare for stare. “The choice, Mister Fisher, is yours. The show will go on either way.”

And with that, I turned tail and headed for the en suite, twirling Oscar in my hand and putting a swish into my naked butt.

Had I lost my ever-loving mind? Why, yes.

Yes, I had. I’d never cared for performative sex, role plays, or any of that imaginative shit.

It made my skin crawl with embarrassment.

Give me simple sex—hot, hard, and dirty every time.

But under our current rules of engagement, the idea of teasing Nick with my body, of tantalising him with the promise of what was to come, held an inexplicable attraction. One that held no place for prudishness.

Nick’s feet hit the floor behind me and my cock filled, my heart galloping in my chest. But when the shower was running hot and Nick still hadn’t appeared in the bathroom, I worried I’d pushed him too far, too soon.

That he wasn’t as ready as I’d thought. Too bad.

We could try another time. But just because Nick couldn’t handle watching me fuck myself didn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea. Lord knew I needed the release.

I threw the dildo into the shower and stepped under the hot spray to soap myself up.

Then I suctioned the base of the dildo to the tiled wall at the height I preferred and reached for the lube.

The lightness of the tube made me smile.

Clearly, I wasn’t the only one unloading my frustration on a regular basis. Good to know.

I squeezed a decent wodge of lube onto my palm, then put my back to the spray and slicked up the dildo before paying some attention to my hole. That done, I placed one hand on the tiled wall and began to stroke my still-firmish cock with the other.

It didn’t take long for things to start bubbling nicely, especially knowing Nick was likely listening in on the action from the other room.

That in mind and imagining him at my back, his cock at my arse and not the dildo, I delivered a suitably porn-worthy groan and was rock hard in record time.

In my fantasy, Nick’s hot breath brushed across my neck and he forced my head around to kiss me, his tongue thrusting deep into my throat as his erection pulsed in my crease.

I want you, Mads , fantasy Nick growled softly in my ear. I want to fuck you. And then I want you to fuck me.

And oh, shit. The thought almost sent me over.

I shoved my hand between my thighs until my fingers found my hole and pressed inside.

In and out, in and out. One finger becoming two, the burn spreading from my arse to my belly and tracking up my spine.

It had been months since I’d done anything like this, and never with a man in the next room.

I squatted for better access, my cock brushing against my stomach, sending a zing of pleasure through my balls.

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.”

My gaze jerked up to find not fantasy Nick but the real deal staring at me from the bathroom door.

I caught his blistering gaze as he stood there watching and—I checked—yes, naked and touching himself, his jeans discarded on the tiles, his cock in his hand, his silver hair falling in messy locks over his eyes like he’d been worrying at it, his teeth working his lips as he groaned and watched me finger fuck myself.

I repositioned to improve his view. His answering groan of approval echoed around the small room, and holy fuck, I almost unloaded on the spot like a teenager.

“Fuck, you’re sexy like that,” he managed in a strained voice.

“I never imagined you... I don’t know why.

.. just... wow.” He reached across the basin and pumped some hand lotion into his palm.

Then he tugged on his cock, rough and demanding, his palm circling the dark head before pressing down hard enough that he had to be seeing stars.

I made a mental note that the man liked it on the rough side.

I could work with that.

“Take it inside you.” Nick flicked his head toward the dildo still stuck to the wall. He squeezed his balls with one hand and his nipples with the other, and fuck, that was hot.

Keeping my eyes locked on his, I positioned myself over the toy, making sure he had a good view. Then, with the head of the dildo at my slick hole, I pressed down.

“Christ.” Nick slid off the vanity and dropped onto the tiles next to the shower, where he had a view straight up my arse.

I reached behind and separated my cheeks before taking the dildo deeper.

Nick drew a sharp breath and worked his cock faster.

“Mmmm.” I slid up and then down, working a little deeper each time. “You like that?”

His gaze jerked up to mine. “You fucking know I do.”