Page 50
‘It’s fine, Mum, honest. And I’ll be home soon. I have a party Friday for my friend Bella and then I’ll wrap things up here and fly back.’
‘Oh, that would be great! I’ll make sure I’m stocked up on black treacle.’
‘You mean you’re going to make sticky toffee with a fresh tin, rather than one from last century? I really am being spoilt.’
‘That only happened once, darling, and it tasted fine.’
‘Reckon we’ll all be eating stuff like that come the apocalypse.’
‘It’ll make the cockroaches taste better.’ John appeared on the call, his smile warm and engaged. ‘How’s the work going, Astrid?’
‘It’s all good, thanks.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
Astrid looked at her mother and John together with fresh eyes; they really did look good together. At Christmas she’d been too busy avoiding the relationship drill and putting a smile on her doubts about them, but now…
‘I’ll send you my flight info when it’s all?—’
She broke off as the doorbell rang through the apartment. A sound she rarely heard without a warning from the doorman first.
‘Sorry Mum, I need to go, someone’s at the door.’
‘No problem, darling. Keep your chin up and we’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’
‘Will do. Love you.’
‘Love you too.’
She blew a kiss down the phone and hung up, pushed up off the bed and combed her fingers through her mop of hair. It was time she tried to get back to business as usual, to shake off the PMDD, Blake, this , and get with the real world again.
She pulled open the door to find no one there. Frowning up and down the empty hallway, she was about to close it again when she saw the bow-adorned box on the ground. Huh . It wasn’t just any box either, it was an Xbox box…
What on earth?
She crouched down to lift it up, plucking the note off the top.
I hope this helps x
‘I owe you a date and a rematch.’
Her heart leaped into her throat as Blake appeared from around the corner, a game in one hand, a shopping bag in the other, and she blinked, blinked again. Was this real? That face, those eyes…
‘I have ice cream, chocolates, sweets, wine… I tried to think of everything you might need for Mr PMDD, but if I’ve forgotten anything, you only have to say the word and I’ll get it.’
The word ? She felt incapable of saying anything. Everything within her had turned to mush. Save for her heart, that was galloping at a million miles an hour and taking great leaps as he started to walk towards her.
‘I also owe you an apology.’
‘An a-apology?’ she stuttered out, tightening her grip on the box when it threatened to slip from her grasp.
His nod was slow, deliberate. ‘You poured your heart out to me, and I refused to listen.’
‘I… I did.’
It was a statement, not a question, and as he paused before her, she felt her heart swell with the same three words: I love you.
‘Can I come in?’
* * *
He feared for a moment she’d say no and tell him to go to hell. It was what he deserved for what he’d done.
And seeing her in her oversized sweats, looking so goddamn cute and vulnerable… all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms. Apologise until she forgave him. Start over with his own heart laid bare. But first…
She backed away from the door, her action telling him he was welcome, even if she wasn’t saying it.
He walked inside and she closed the door, her eyes on the games console as she slid it onto the side table.
‘I took a guess at Xbox, but if a PlayStation is more your vibe, I can get one here stat.’
Her mouth quivered into an almost smile, her voice quiet with disbelief. ‘You remembered…?’
‘I remember everything, Astrid. Every second, every word, every feeling.’
Everything they’d done in this hallway too when he’d been none the wiser and…
Her eyes glistened up at him, silencing his head with her pain and her sadness and fuck, he’d done that to her. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I still don’t understand why you’re sorry.’
‘I didn’t believe you. You said it, but I didn’t believe you.’ He tightened his grip around the items in his hands. ‘I didn’t dare let myself believe you.’
‘I don’t blame you after everything I did.’
‘That’s just it, it wasn’t about your pact with your friends, I could blame it, but it wasn’t.
It was about me. I never thought someone could love me in that way.
I never thought I was worthy of it. But from the very first day I met you, you tried to convince me otherwise.
You had convinced me otherwise. I started to believe…
and then when you told me the truth, it gave me an out.
A reason to go back to being the man I was.
Untouchable. Safe. Because believing the worst about myself, about you, meant I could avoid accepting the cold hard truth. ’
‘What truth?’
‘That I love you, Astrid.’
Her lashes flickered over eyes that shone with his confession, but he wasn’t done…
‘I loved you before Massachusetts and I love you still.’
She gave a teary laugh. ‘That sounds like a lyric…’
‘I guess it does.’
‘For a cold hard truth, that isn’t cold at all…’
‘No, but it is equally chilling and terrifying and exhilarating and surprising.’
‘I know.’
‘Because’ – hope flared to life, warm within his chest – ‘you feel it too?’
She nodded. ‘You were my worst nightmare, my kryptonite.’
He raised a brow. ‘Kryptonite?’
‘A bad boy with a heart of gold. To fall in love with you knowing it could have no future… but a friend once told me that love has a will of its own and she was right.’
‘Sissi?’
‘Yes. And she would know.’
Because her friend still suffered now, ten years down the line. He didn’t doubt it. Before Astrid he might have. But now… he couldn’t imagine a day passing without thinking of the woman opposite him. Thinking of her, wanting her, loving her.
‘Yeah, she would know.’ He held her gaze, every fibre of his being firing with the urge to reach for her, but… ‘I saw my mother this morning, I wanted to show her the article.’
‘Oh…’ She looked almost fearful as she crossed her arms over her front. ‘What did she say?’
‘She said what I said.’
‘What’s that?’
‘That it’s beautiful.’
Her eyes glistened all the more, her mouth pursing to the side. ‘ You said it was beautiful ?’
‘In a more manly way, of course.’
She smiled softly. ‘Of course.’
‘My brother loves it too. I think my father will even appreciate the truth in it.’
‘He has his demons, Blake. They’re not excuses but they do exist.’
‘And we all make mistakes. It’s how we choose to move on from them that matters. You helped me to see that.’
‘But it was all you… You broke the cycle, father to son.’
‘Fuck, I hope so.’
‘I know so,’ she whispered, and he took a breath that shuddered right through him, hope blazing stronger than ever as he took a tentative step forward.
‘My mother said love can go one of two ways, it can destroy you, or it can make you stronger. I want the latter, Astrid, and I want it with you. For the rest of my life, I want to be at peace with you.’
‘Blake…’ It came out in a rush as she met him halfway and he emptied his hands to fill them with her. Her warm body, warm lips, warm soul the balm to his own.
‘I love you,’ she brushed against his mouth.
‘I love you too.’
‘Always.’
‘Forever.’
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50 (Reading here)
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53