Page 24

He threw the last in to throw her off; he wasn’t in the mood for the deep and personal today. In the mood for her though, always.

But instead of backing up, she let her gaze drift to his arms. ‘Right-handed?’

‘Huh?’

Her eyes twinkled. ‘It would explain why your biceps are bigger on the right.’

She gestured to said arm and he laughed – amused, surprised, ever more enraptured. ‘You know one night in my bed, and you wouldn’t tease about it.’

He gripped the knot in his towel, forcing his bicep to flex.

Two can play at that game, baby…

She took a shallow breath. ‘You sound pretty sure about that.’

‘That’s because I am sure.’

And man, he wanted to stride across the room and prove it to her. Right here, right now. Brother’s judgement, public opinion, the article, be damned.

‘Why don’t you hang back on Tuesday, and we can put it to the test?’

‘I’m sure your brother would love that.’

‘I’m more concerned about what you’d love.’

She swallowed, her delicate throat bobbing and teasing him with the desire to lean in and give her just a taste… but a taste wouldn’t be enough. Not for him. And he was pretty sure it wouldn’t be for her either.

‘Was it his idea that I come over?’

‘Yes.’

‘But you were happy to go along with it?’

He… what was he? Beneath the frenetic pulse beating through his veins at the idea of having her in his home, so very close to the bed he wanted her in, he was wary.

And he didn’t like it.

‘He’s the grown-up in this relationship.’

He strode past her and set his phone down – funny that he’d been messaging her when she’d only been across the hall. Maybe he’d been attuned to her presence before he’d set eyes on her. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head in the gym, in the shower…

He started to pull his stuff from the locker. ‘I do what he says. Most of the time.’

‘Why do you do that?’

‘Because he tends to be right.’

‘I didn’t mean, why do you do what he says, I mean, why do you put yourself down?’

He snapped around. ‘I’m not.’

‘No?’

‘No.’ He swallowed the tightness in his chest. ‘If you don’t want an eyeful, you best turn your back.’ He took the towel in both hands and her eyes flared. ‘Or you can leave. Your choice.’

He thought she’d hurry off. He’d hoped she’d hurry off. He had no desire to explore the path she wanted to venture down.

Instead, she turned to face the wall. ‘Don’t you have a gym in your building?’

He hesitated. Was he really going to strip with her just a few yards away?

Oh, fuck it . He dropped the towel and set about his business, trying to tune her out. But his body had other ideas, hyper aware of her perfume on the air, the subtle sound of her breath… down, dude, down.

‘Of course we have our own gym in our suite.’

‘So why come here to use this one?’

‘I knew it would be deserted and sometimes, that’s all I want. To be in my own head, in my own space.’

‘Even though the traffic is hell?’

‘Funny thing about being in a blacked-out 4x4, you’re anonymous and everyone gets out of your way. Just the way I like it.’

He zipped up his jeans, relieved to be contained, even if it was uncomfortable as fuck. ‘You can turn around now.’

She did so slowly, her eyes alighting on his chest as he picked up his tee.

‘If you like your own space so much,’ she said as he pulled it over his head, her words hitching with her breath and he fought back a grin. ‘Why do you still live with your brother?’

And just like that the grin died. ‘Do you ever quit with the interviewing?’

He yanked his shirt into position, the action as aggressive as his question.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I was genuinely curious… personally not professionally.’

‘So the journalist in you isn’t getting all hot under the collar right now?’

‘No, that’s just me.’ And then she blushed. ‘Funny Blake. Very funny.’

‘Why are you so interested in my living arrangements, if not for the article?’

‘Because you’re twenty-eight, you have the money to go your separate ways and yet you choose to live together? Even though you’ve just said you’d rather sit through traffic and come here to work out than exercise in the home you share with your brother.’

‘There’s more equipment here.’

‘And you live together because?’

He shrugged. ‘We live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, rent in Manhattan is extortionate, even for someone with our success it makes good financial sense to share the rent. Especially when we also rent a place in Brooklyn for Mom.’

And hell, he was quoting Aiden now. He knew it even as he said it. But it was better than acknowledging the truth. He was scared to go it alone. Scared what he’d do without his brother reining him in.

‘So it has nothing to do with your brother keeping an eye on you?’

He stalled, shrugging on his jacket. ‘You think I’m that bad that I need babysitting twenty-four-seven?’

And how the hell had she got inside his head so easily?

‘No. I don’t. I’m asking if you do.’

He shook his head on a choked laugh. ‘Wow.’

She’s got you sussed though, hasn’t she? That’s why you’re freaking out.

‘I’m asking if you think your brother does too.’

He scooped up his keys and his bag and headed for the exit, unsurprised when she fell into step beside him. ‘You’d have to ask him that.’

‘But in your opinion?’

‘My brother has spent his life looking out for me, and he’ll carry on looking out for me, it’s what he does.’

‘Would you say you’re co-dependent?’

‘Jesus, Astrid, I thought you said you weren’t interviewing me?’

‘I’m not.’

He stilled so that he could look down into her eyes. Spot the lie. But her own were wide. Open and honest. ‘So this is you caring about me?’

‘Yes.’

He almost said nothing, but then he considered what she was asking and, ‘I have no idea whether what we have is some weird, twisted co-dependent relationship. I know I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for him.

And you already know what he’s risked to save my skin.

So hell yeah, maybe I do have an unhealthy need to have him around and vice versa.

I guess you’ll get a taste of what it’s like for real on Tuesday.

You can judge our living arrangement all you like. ’

‘I’m not judging you.’

‘If you say so.’

He pushed through the back exit to their private parking lot and nodded to security standing guard as they let him through.

‘I’m really not, Blake,’ she said, hurrying to keep pace with him.

‘I just feel like you have this carefully curated life that has been driven by your brother and you’re too scared to step outside of it and reach for your own dreams. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the same.

Compromising on his own to make sure they fit around you. ’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re hockey players, the game is our life; our dream is one and the same.’

‘But at some point, you’ll have to move on from the game and then what?’

He stared back at her. ‘Then whatever, Astrid, we’ll deal with it.’

‘We’ll…?’

‘What?’

‘You said “we’ll” rather than “I’ll”.’

‘So?’

She didn’t answer. She didn’t have to. He’d given away enough.

‘Do you ever think about getting married, having a family of your own?’

He laughed. ‘Seriously? You can’t tell me that’s not an interview question.’

‘It wasn’t.’

‘No? Have you asked Aiden about it?’

‘I did. But not in the interview.’

‘So it just came out in conversation?’

‘Yes.’

Could she not see how that only incriminated her further?

‘Just as curious about his love life as you are mine, hey? So either you want to get us both into bed and you’re not fussy which, or you’re lying about this not being an interview.’

He paused beside his car, effectively positioning her between him and the great big hunk of metal.

‘Which is it to be?’

* * *

Astrid blinked up at Blake’s blue eyes glittering above her and tried to take a breath, only there was no air without his invigorating scent, his heat…

‘Are you always so suspicious?’ It came out as a whisper, her body on fire with his looming large over her. ‘Can’t I just care?’

‘In my experience, people only care when there’s something in it for them. So either you want the story…’ He stroked the hair from her face and her head lifted with the motion, her lips parting of their own accord. ‘Or you want me.’

‘This isn’t a good idea, Blake.’

That’s hardly a rejection, Astrid. Think of Sissi. Think of the twin you’re supposed to get. Do this and you’ve screwed it all!

He leaned closer, his mouth a dizzying few inches away and oh, how she wanted to close that gap. Wanted to kiss him and let the heat consume her. Consume them.

‘You sure about that? Because I think this feels very good, don’t you?’

She shook her head, the tip of her nose brushing against the tip of his. ‘Blake…’

It was breathless, a question and a plea.

‘Tell me you want it, Astrid, and I’ll give it to you.’

She closed her eyes, tried to block out temptation, but it was no use… He was offering himself to her, a kiss that would lead to his bed… a night she would never forget.

And then his words pierced the lustful haze. People only care when there’s something in it for them.

‘No!’ She pressed her palm into the solid wall of his chest, her eyes flaring open. ‘You’re playing dirty.’

He eased back, his head cocking to the side. ‘Oh, I can get dirtier.’

‘Stop it, Blake. I know what you’re doing.’

‘I was seducing you…’

‘No. You’re pushing me away. Making this about sex and need. Because you don’t want to believe that I care. Is that what makes it safe for you? Relationships? Women?’

He clenched his jaw, the fire in his eyes turning frosty. ‘I guess you have your answer.’

‘My answer?’

‘Marriage. Kids. A family of my own.’

In the depths of his gaze were the echoes of his past and a fear for the future. A man who didn’t dare hope for any of it.

‘You can have it all if?—’

‘How can you say that when you know the truth about me? You know what I did? You know why I left Ashbury Falls? I am my father’s son, Astrid. I can never have what he had because I will never destroy it like he did.’

And then he strode away, rounding the car to reach for the driver’s door.

Oh my God, no! She couldn’t let him leave, not like this.

‘Blake please?—’

‘Get in.’

She did a double take. ‘What?’

‘I said get in.’

‘But…?’

‘I assume you’re heading back into the city, I’ll drive you.’

It had to be an hour’s drive with the traffic at this time of night; it would be quicker via the sub, but…

‘You coming?’ He rose out of his seat to eye her over the roof.

Pulling open the door before he could change his mind, she slid inside and buckled up.

Neither said a word as he pulled out of the parking lot. Astrid’s head was racing, so many questions and assurances wanting to erupt but she wasn’t sure where to start, and she certainly didn’t want to put the guy any further on edge. Not when he was driving, but…

‘Your turn.’

She shot him a look. ‘My turn?’

Her heart went pitter patter with the windscreen wipers, the snow falling as thick and fast as her sudden dread.

‘Sure. I just told you outright that I don’t do serious when it comes to relationships. What about you? You hardly had the greatest upbringing with your father…’

‘No but my mother did a great job, thank you very much.’ Her hackles were up, a reaction born of a childhood where people judged her, judged her mother, judged her absentee father without ever taking the time to truly understand it.

Not to mention her pulse that couldn’t settle with him mere inches away, his body heat and scent a constant attack on her weakened defences.

‘I didn’t say she didn’t. My mother did a great job too, my father just made it impossible for her to make it great as a whole. You can’t tell me you didn’t look at your friends and wish you had it different back then.’

Oh, she’d wished alright. She’d wished for a father to come to her school productions, a parents’ evening or two, anything to show a real interest…

‘You can’t control how other people behave.’

‘No, so you just stop depending on them. I have been listening you know…’

They shared a look so loaded with meaning that she didn’t breathe for a beat. And then she realised that this man who she’d known for little more than a week likely knew her better than those she’d known her entire life.

‘So tell me, Astrid, after all you’ve been through, do you crave a white wedding and babies and love ever after?’

‘ Jesus , Blake…’ she laughed out, distinctly uncomfortable.

Because deep down, underneath the scars, she did want all of that. She just didn’t think it would happen for her. Like with her mum, men would never stick through the worst and so she chose not to hope for it. Planned for the opposite.

He leaned closer. ‘I’m asking because, and I quote, “I care”.’

‘Don’t do that.’

‘Do what?’

‘Take the piss out of me.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Liar.’

‘So it’s okay for you to say it but when I say it…’

He had her there. Dammit. The man was infuriating.

‘Seems to me, you can give it, but you can’t take it.’

‘Right. Fine. No, I don’t see love and marriage in my future. No kids. I don’t trust anyone to be in it for the long haul and I wouldn’t put a child through the same upheaval I went through.’

She waited for him to say something, anything, but nothing came. His silence worse than any spoken judgement.

‘Are you not going to say something?’

The passing streetlights cast shadows over his face, making it impossible to read.

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I don’t know. Something. Anything.’

‘I don’t think you’ll like what I have to say.’

‘Why don’t you try me?’

‘Because we’ll only end up back where we were in the parking lot.’

She frowned. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Can’t you see, Astrid, you’re not looking for love, I don’t expect love, the future is the future, but the now… we could have so much fun in the now.’

She swallowed. Fun? Oh, how she wanted that.

Wanted it but couldn’t. Not with him.

And not because of karma, or work, she realised. But because she had a sneaking suspicion that this man had the power to make her want so much more.

‘I have an article to write.’

‘But when you don’t…?’ He sent her a look.

When I don’t, your brother is the one I’m supposed to be leaving for dust… not you.

‘I’ll be heading back to the UK.’

She looked away and prayed he’d drop it. Pleaded that he’d drop it. Because what she really wanted to say was, yes, yes, yes!

When it was a no, no, no!

In fact, if all went according to the original plan, she was the last person on earth he’d want to see again.

And that left her feeling even shittier than before.