Page 24

TWENTY-FOUR

We’d learned early on that the tigers loved babies of all species.

Much like my sister’s tigers, once the leopards realized I was their new pet parent, they stuck to my legs like they had a glue coat rather than fur. Fortunately for my sanity, the male weighed ninety-two pounds while the female weighed in at sixty.

Magic, likely sourced from an animal empath, had resulted in the big cats behaving abnormally. In the wild, they were notoriously solitary unless mating or raising young.

Sika, the female, cried if Tumen, the male, left her sight for longer than ten minutes. In addition to crying, she paced and weaved, expressing distress and anxiety that might result in somebody getting mauled. As such, we would have to keep the pair together.

Keeping the pair together would result in us rolling in leopard cubs, especially if we gave them an appropriate habitat. Sika and Tumen had already produced a litter with two cubs, both of which had been shipped back to Russia to fulfill the contract for their sale.

Fortunately for my sanity, the contract had been for two cubs, leaving us free and clear regarding their ownership. I would end up on the phone with Russia to make certain they were aware Sika and Tumen belonged to me and were officially members of the royal family.

As planned, Monty and Madelyn handled the girls while I followed, Isla perched on my shoulder and flanked with the two leopards, which drew attention from the palace staff. Word spread like wildfire that we had more feline rescues than we knew what to do with, and I requested that nobody warn my sister that two of the felines were rather large and predatory in nature.

I hoped the Californians didn’t mind the extra bodies, because I doubted I’d be able to convince Sika and Tumen to stay in New York—and I had no idea how we’d handle introducing them to Amisha and Endah.

Carefully, I suspected.

For our first stop, we took the girls to their suites, and within twenty minutes, we had them tucked into bed with their new cats. Upon discovering she had an entire pillow to herself, the senior animal went to sleep beside her new owner. I praised May and introduced her to the gray cat, who was quick to cuddle close for attention.

Danielle’s cat likewise settled in, but hers opted to make use of the toddler’s pillow and keep her head warm.

With the RPS agents on duty, I waited a few extra minutes, checking on both girls a final time before heading towards my sister’s office with the leopards and the parrot in tow.

The tigers waited outside the office door, which informed me she’d been in a sensitive meeting that not even they could hear. Both regarded me and my new companions with wide eyes.

“Amisha, Endah, come meet Sika, Tumen, and Isla,” I said. Aware I would be in the middle of a quartet of four dangerous felines while escorting a priceless parrot, I crouched, careful to secure my hold on the leashes near their collars.

With rumbling chuffs, both tigers strolled over, and they sniffed at the leopards.

The leopards sniffed back.

Nobody took any swipes, thus sparing me from having to try to save one of the endangered animals from injury.

I worried Sika and Tumen were like my sister’s tigers, of abnormally high intellect and capable of understanding more than I wished for at times. “Good girls! Sika and Tumen used to live at a nice place where they were loved, but they lost their habitat and were rescued. They’ll be living here with us now, so you have to protect them, okay? And when they have cubs, you’ll have to protect their little ones.”

We’d learned early on that the tigers loved babies of all species, and the news there might be cubs in the future did them both in. The tigers went to work grooming their new friends, chuffing their contentment. I reassured the leopards, who accepted the presence of the larger cats without any evidence of worry.

After a few minutes, I got to my feet, giving the leopards more leash, and eased around the tigers so I could knock at my sister’s door before letting myself in. “Rachel, please don’t kill me.”

“I’ll let you off this time. What have you done now?”

I chuckled, and it took calling Amisha and Endah over to get them to free the leopards enough I could coax them into the room. “We need to tighten our rules about endangered species, especially when they fall into the hands of shelters. I went to the shelter and came out with two cats and a bird, and they’re all endangered.”

Rachel, who had been hard at work at her desk, blinked, stood up, and peered at my new felines. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m really not.” I petted both Sika and Tumen before focusing on Isla, who issued a bunch of her excited calls, both in the middle and upper pitches. “This is Isla, and she lost her bonded human and decided I’m a tolerable custodian. I’m going to ruin many a suit keeping her on my shoulder, I suspect. She’s a nocturnal bird, and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get her into a habitat during the day and have her run around my suite until bedtime before settling her in her cage. She’s cage sour.”

“I did not know a bird could like their cage too much.”

“Isla seemed well loved and cared for but kept in her cage a lot, so we’ll have to deal with anxiety issues getting her used to a proper habitat.” I explained what I knew of Isla’s past, careful to praise the bird and make certain she got sufficient attention. “We have an entire colony of old cats, and I asked the shelter to contact us whenever they get a senior cat that is unlikely to be adopted. We’re an old cat charity now.”

“I was told about the senior cats, and I’m not going to argue if you want to turn some of that wasted space into an old cat sanctuary. I’ll find out how many senior cats we can realistically house, and I’ll work with the local veterinarian schools about programs to help new vets get practice caring for senior animals. We might be able to earn some good will when we start having absurd vetting situations in this place.” Rachel came around her desk and crouched just out of leash range of the Amur leopards, cooing reassurances to her tigers. “I can tell they’re leopards of some sort, but what sort of leopards?”

“They’re Amur leopards. I’ll take full responsibility for them. Can you please ask Ethan to warn his parents we’ll be bringing them? They’ll be staying in my suite as far as I know.”

“And Madelyn’s cats?”

“I’m getting the feeling the leopards are like Amisha and Endah. Can you ask your cat empath friend to do an emergency visit?”

“I can have him here in a few hours,” she promised. “The cheetahs are actually ready early, so they can come tonight, too. We may as well go all in. I was going to wait after you were on the way to California so you wouldn’t worry about it, but if you need some help with your furry babies, then we get help.”

I foresaw a great deal of chaos. “That leaves us with the very serious problem of the box Monty is taking to the exotic animal wing. I may have sent the RPS scattering across the city to get supplies for them.”

“Box? What box?”

“The one with our new colony of black footed ferrets, also from the shelter.”

Her mouth dropped open. She spluttered, and after a few moments, she got to her feet. “We have black footed ferrets?”

“Thirteen of them. They were dumped at the shelter, apparently rescued from smugglers.”

My sister inhaled, and a moment later, she yowled, “Alfred!”

The RPS agent stepped through the door, which led to her office’s sitting room. “What do you need?”

“Ian is never allowed to go to pet shelters ever again. He locates and commits felonies when he does so. He is in possession of more endangered animals than is legal.”

I stared at my sister and raised a brow.

“As such, I’m evicting him and his leopards and his parrot and his woman and her cats and his children and their cats from the kingdom tomorrow.”

Alfred raised a brow. “Are you all right?”

“No. We have black footed ferrets, Amur leopards, and whatever kind of parrot that is. And I’m concerned the parrot is never going to leave my brother’s side.”

I checked on Isla to discover she appeared to be falling asleep on my shoulder. “Alfred, can you call in Jacob or Dr. Paulseno for tomorrow and inquire if we need to hire someone else? I brought in a lot of animals tonight. I don’t know if Jacob can care for endangered animals.”

“I’m aware. I was notified of the acquisitions as they were made. Please try to resist any more adoptions of any species for a while. You have reached your quota for adoptions for this year. Please seek permission from a responsible adult the next time you wish to make an acquisition. The only acquisition you can make without permission is a wife, but you need to get her permission. I wish you the best of luck with that.”

I sighed. “That was New York mean, Alfred.”

“I have been attempting to teach your sister how to be appropriately New York mean. I am hopeful she will grasp the concept without much of a fuss.”

“And here I thought I was doing good deeds.”

The RPS agent chuckled. “Terry will be accompanying you to California along with Zach as Rachel is banned from going. Zach will be resuming his position as the head of your detail. Peter will be here working on establishing your new detail.”

I sucked in a breath. “Both are staying?”

“After hearing the employment offer, both have opted to be a core part of your detail without pursuing retirement paths. Peter’s wife has encouraged this, as has Zach’s. Apparently, you are liked by the wives. Do pursue acquiring a wife of your own.”

Fortunately for my self-esteem and sanity, the woman I wanted wasn’t around to overhear the discussion. “You are a wicked man, Alfred.”

He smiled and dipped into a bow. “At your service, Your Highness. Peter and Zach are making preparations, and they will have their first shift in the morning. Please take yourself to the mud run and get some exercise. You will want to take one of the larger cages for your sister’s rats to keep your parrot from wandering off while you are exercising. And yes, I was briefed on the parrot’s current issues. I sent someone to get an appropriate cage, and it will be set up in your suite while you are exercising on the mud run. I will send Madelyn to help keep an eye on the leopards and the parrot.”

As Madelyn enjoyed watching me on the mud run, I decided I would play the game his way. “I do not know what I did to deserve being sent onto the mud run, but I will do as you demand.”

“I’ll even send Peter or Zach along so you can relax a little. I know you’ve been struggling with the shifting details, and having familiar agents around should do you a world of good. Amisha, Endah, do accompany your new brother and sister. Like you, they have lost their solitary tendencies, and it is good for them to visit with you. I’ll keep an eye on Rachel.”

Both tigers swarmed the RPS agent, rubbed against his legs, and chuffed at him, and he obeyed their wishes, petting both of them and assuring them they were good girls.

“It seems I have to go get muddy, Rachel. Perhaps send Madelyn to the mud run with some of the non-alcoholic wine?”

My sister smiled. “I can do that for you, Ian. Just work out your nerves, and make sure you test that your talent is easily reined in.”

“Melting metal did the trick. I won’t have to worry about that for a few days,” I promised.

“Good. I’ll wrangle your woman, you go work out your nerves. And Ian?”

“What?”

“Do not let me find out who smuggled the parrot or the ferrets. I will destroy them. Am I clear?”

I realized my fate: dealing with the smugglers would be my problem. “You got it. I’ll start doing the footwork while in California. Just make certain Jacob or Dr. Paulseno clear the ferrets before you handle them. We don’t want your babies to get sick.” I checked her sitting room and spotted Snookums and Flamingo asleep in their cage. “Where are the kangaroo rats?”

“They went to the clinic, where my girls are engaging in shenanigans with a little boy California acquired for me. I am going to have baby rats!”

The pregnancy hormones would truly take over New York. “Congratulations. If you get a spare pair of females from your lab rat experiment from the non-cancerous lines, I have room on my dresser for a cage. If I’m going to have cats and a parrot in my suite, I may as well have some rats, too.”

My sister giggled. “I’ll pick you out a pair from the next breeding. And when you’re back, it’s your turn to get tested for animal empathy properly, Ian.”

I regarded her with my coolest expression. “Your Royal Majesty, don’t you know that New York is where empathy talents go to die?”

She snorted and waved her fist at me. “Out of my office, you. You’re just lucky I, for reasons I do not understand, actually like you.”

* * *

Unlike my previous runs at the course, I approached the challenge as something I needed to defeat if I wanted a chance in hell of having the endurance needed to keep up with two children, two leopards, a parrot, and more cats than I could shake a stick at. If I added in Madelyn to the mix, I doubted I had any hope of survival.

I suspected the woman feasted on my suffering, which involved busting ass to beat my previous time. Zach had come out, joined the woman of my dreams on a lawn chair, and drank non-alcoholic wine while enjoying the show. By the time I made it to the end, successfully beating my best time, I wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground and take a nap. Instead, I trudged over to the pair, dropped to the ground, and groaned. “Just zap me, Zach. Have mercy and zap me.”

The RPS agent laughed. “I’m not zapping you, Ian. Sorry. Good job on the course, though. After reading over your medical file, I was concerned you’d have a long way to go to get healthy, but you’re doing just fine. We need to work on your upper body strength, but that’s something we can focus on after we’re back from California. I like my new commute. It’s ten minutes on a bad day. My wife absolutely loves you because of the commute and the suite at the palace if things get busy. She works remotely now, and she likes when she knows I’m close.”

“Yet I’m taking you to California tomorrow.”

“She’s coming along for the ride, so she’s happy. Peter’s family is coming as well, and members of California’s RPS will be taking our wives and kids to the beach while we’re working. It’s not work if they’re escorting guests, and they get paid to do it.”

“If we don’t do that in New York, we need to.”

“We have similar rules, we just didn’t use them when your parents were the monarchs. I’ll make sure to remind Alfred that we have the rules. It’s buried at the back of the manual under optional rules.” Zach leaned over, grabbed a plastic water bottle, and offered it to me. “Your parrot passed out so hard that one of the RPS agents took her to your suite and she didn’t budge. Your leopards followed the parrot, and there was feline whining, so they were put to bed in your suite as well. The animal empath will be here within the next two hours, but you’re going to be passed out by the time he gets here. Has your packing preferences changed?”

“Madelyn has selected the suits slated for death. We’re saving the most expensive for last.”

He nodded. “I’ll put together some other clothes for you. You’re going to be a zombie in the morning.”

I could trust Zach to remember my behaviors and how long I could go before I became a living zombie. Before my parents had left, exhausting myself to an extreme degree had been one of my coping mechanisms.

Times had changed, and I was exhausted for new and better reasons. “I’d claim I would try to do better, but until the girls are settled, that’s just not an option.”

“You’ll be fine. Tomorrow, you have the luxury of being a zombie. We can handle making certain your daughters know you’re tired and teach them how to cope when you need a chance to rest. With luck, all three of you will sleep on the plane, make it to California, and then go back to sleep. Ah, Eddie also arrived twenty minutes ago. Frankly spoken, he’s hyper, and I’m going to need you to calm him down.”

Before Zach had gone to North Dakota, I’d had limited exposure to Eddie, but we’d all liked him and his relentless drive to make Pat proud of him. “I’ll get him to babysit me in the damned shower, because I’m quivering from head to toe. He can keep me from getting another concussion or drowning.”

Zach sighed, shook his head, and lifted his hand to his ear. “His Royal Highness has tired himself to the point he needs a babysitter. Eddie, you get to keep him from doing something stupid and get him to bed. You also get the night shift to make certain the animals are all settled and everybody stays safe. Remember: the leopards are new, we don’t know their habits yet, and they need to be treated with caution. Expect a boring shift. If Ian is capable of making a fuss, I’ll be shocked. At most, you might end up having to clean up a mess if nobody has litter trained the leopards yet. I’m sure you can handle it.”

Eddie might forgive me one day. “Are the leopards litter trained?”

“They are, and there’s an appropriate box in your suite for them. Alas, the robotic litter boxes we’ll be using for your house cats are insufficiently sized for your leopards. With luck, we’ll be able to teach them to use the toilet like we’ve done with the tigers. But if not, we’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it. We’re not.”