Page 50 of The Pretender (Mifflin County Mysteries #3)

Y OU LOOK KIND OF MIED tonight,” Noah commented as they walked out to the hitching rail where his horse and buggy waited.

“Jah, I am a bit tired,” Susan responded.

“I guess maybe you didn’t have time to take a nap after church today.”

“No nap for me.” Just a confession, and now I don’t know what my future holds.

“I didn’t take one either.” He chuckled. “But then I rarely do. Didn’t even like to sleep during the daytime when I was a boy.”

Susan made no comment as she climbed into the passenger side of Noah’s buggy. She didn’t feel like talking and hoped he wouldn’t ask her a bunch of questions as they traveled to the home where the singing would be held.

Noah climbed in and gathered up the reins, then backed up his horse so they were positioned to head down the driveway. “Are you looking forward to more spring weather, Susan? I sure am.”

She shrugged.

“When the weather gets even warmer, maybe we could check out some of the ponds in our area and do a bit of fishing.”

Susan spread her fingers out like a fan against her breastbone.

Was he asking her out? Did Noah want to spend more time with her?

If so, she couldn’t understand his reasons.

Although he and his family often attended church services in her family’s district on their off Sundays, Noah had never shown any interest in her.

Maybe he feels sorry for me because I’m alone most of the time and don’t go to many of the young people’s functions , Susan thought.

Noah could be the nurturing type, who likes to make people like me feel better about themselves.

If he knew the real me, who was capable of telling so many lies that I almost believed them myself, I bet he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

“Susan, did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, uh—what was that?”

“I mentioned going fishing sometime this spring. Thought maybe you’d like to go with me sometime.”

She turned her head to look at him directly. “How come?”

“How come fishing, or are you wondering why I asked you to join me?”

“The second part.” Susan sucked in some air and blew it out quickly. “I’m not a nice person, Noah. You don’t want to go anywhere with me.”

“Jah, I do. That’s how we can get to know each other better.”

She shook her head so hard that the ties on her head covering flipped back and forth, just missing her mouth. “Knowing me better would not be a good thing.”

“Why not?”

“It just wouldn’t. That’s all.”

“You should allow me to be the judge of that.”

Susan flexed her fingers a few times and then drew them into the palms of her hands. She was tempted to tell Noah, right then and there, that she was a liar and had told some things that weren’t true during the time her sister had gone missing.

But if I tell him , she reasoned, he’ll probably never speak to me again, much less want to take me fishing or anyplace else.

Susan sat quietly for a few minutes until Noah nudged her arm. “So how about it, Susan? Should I start planning a fishing date?”

“No, you shouldn’t, so please drop the subject.

In fact,” Susan added, “I’d prefer not to talk at all.

” Her tone was sharp, and she felt bad about that, but how else was she supposed to get through to him?

Somehow, Susan needed to make Noah understand that she was not a fit date, for him or anyone else.

She bit her lower lip until she recognized the metallic taste of blood. The truth is, I’m no better than Ben. Maybe I ought to be in jail too. At least there, I’d know my sins were being punished.

Susan’s thoughts turned to something else. I wonder if Mom, Dad, and Rosa are sitting there at home, talking about me. I bet they’re trying to decide whether they should accept my apology or not. Maybe when I get home from the singing tonight, my bags will be packed and waiting for me at the door.

“Well, guess we’d better get busy and have this discussion now, before Tena and Alvin show up,” Rosa’s father announced.

“We each need to decide if we’re willing to forgive Susan for her deceit and all of the lies she told while Rosa was gone.

” He got up and reached for his Bible, which had been lying on the table near his recliner; then he took a seat in the chair.

Rosa shifted uneasily on the sofa, where she’d moved to sit beside her mother.

Although Dad was a bishop in their church, he could be harsh sometimes.

She figured he would not go easy on Susan and would come up with some way to make her pay for her transgressions.

Even so, Dad studied the Bible a lot and was well versed in what God’s Word had to say about a good many topics.

And since he had picked the Bible up and was now thumbing through the pages, she felt sure that he was about to read them one or more verses of scripture, most likely on the topic of lying.

Once Dad found the page he apparently sought, he turned and faced Rosa and her mother. “Before we resume our discussion about Susan, I’m going to read a few verses that apply to all of us and must be taken to heart.”

“Jah, please do,” Mom said.

Rosa bobbed her head in agreement.

Dad stood, like he would if he were preaching during one of their church services, and said, “Rosa, since you didn’t feel up to going to church with us this morning, as Susan had stated, our guest minister preached on the topic of lying.

He quoted several verses of scripture to remind us that lying is wrong—a sin, in fact—an abomination to God.

Susan said she took the verses to heart, felt guilty for her lies, and came to the realization that she must come forth and tell us the truth.

As you know, she also apologized for her misdeeds.

Do you believe her apology was heartfelt, or did she merely tell us what she thought we wanted to hear? ”

Rosa looked at her mother, wondering if she would respond first, and she did.

“Jah, Mahlon, I believe that Susan was truly repentant.”

“And you, Rosa? What do you think about your sister’s apology?”

“It seemed genuine.”

“All right then, since we are all in agreement, let’s listen to what the Bible says about forgiveness.

” He opened the black book to the page he’d been holding with his index finger and read, “‘For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ Matthew 6:14 and 15.”

Dad paused and remained quiet. Rosa figured he wanted to allow them some time to digest and ponder God’s Word. “Those two verses pretty much said it all,” he said. “Forgive others or God won’t forgive you.

“There is no might or maybe. It is spelled out clearly, and the choice is up to each individual. In this case, we could either forgive Susan or not forgive her, in which case our own sins would not be forgiven by God.

“I would like to read another passage of scripture,” Dad continued.

“This one is found in Luke 23, verse 34, and the words are written in red, indicating that Jesus was speaking. Listen to what He said when he was on the cross, close to death.” He paused before reading: “Then Jesus said, ‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’ “ Dad paused again, and Rosa saw tears glistening in his eyes.

“If our Lord could forgive those who had put Him to death, why do we find it so difficult to forgive others? Since God forgives our sins, we must offer forgiveness to those who have wronged us.” He pointed to himself.

“I, for one, am going to forgive Susan, but each of you will have to make that decision for yourself, just as Norman, Tena, and even Alvin will need to when Susan apologizes to them, which I feel sure she will do.”

Rosa was on the verge of commenting, but Dad spoke again.

“Susan is not the only person in this family who needs to apologize. I owe the two of you, as well as the rest of the family, a heartfelt apology for being so harsh and often saying things that I am sure must have hurt you deeply. If there is anything specific that I may have said or done, please feel free to discuss it with me, and I will apologize once more.”

Tears welled up in Rosa’s eyes, and she noticed that Mom was crying softly too.

The fact remained that no one was perfect, and when a sinner repented, God would forgive them.

So did Rosa have any right to withhold forgiveness when Susan said she was sorry?

The answer was a resounding no, and Rosa immediately bowed her head in prayer.

Dear Lord, I believe my sister was sincere in her apology, and even though I was deeply hurt when she admitted what she had done and said while I was away from home, I need to find it in my heart to forgive her.

Please help me do that, and also to remember that I am not perfect either.

I ask You to forgive me for my shortcomings and all the pain I put my family through by selfishly running away from home.

I hurt not only my family but also my friends Ada and Ephraim.

Although I have apologized to everyone involved, the one person I still need to forgive is myself. I am asking Your help with that.

When Rosa’s prayer ended and she opened her eyes, she realized that her mother’s head was bowed too. She sat quietly until Mom looked up and reached for Rosa’s hand. “I had a little talk with Jesus,” she said, “and I have found it within my heart to forgive Susan.”

Rosa nodded. “Me too.”

“All right then,” Dad exclaimed. “Having forgiven Susan, we must express that to her, and then we all need to put the past behind us, move on from here, and try to be more supportive of each other.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Mom said. She gave Rosa’s fingers a tender squeeze. “Right, Daughter?”

Rosa smiled and nodded. “Absolutely.”