Page 45 of The Pretender (Mifflin County Mysteries #3)

Belleville

A FTER THE WEEKS OF WINTER had faded away, bringing warmer days in the early part of May, Rosa’s condition had improved.

She was now able to sit, walk, and do a few easy tasks when she wasn’t resting.

The doctor said she should remain downstairs for the rest of her pregnancy and that if things kept going well, it shouldn’t be a problem for Rosa to have a home birth in the care of her midwife.

Alvin seemed to enjoy being back in school, and he said he was thankful that he no longer had to wear his cast. For a while, his arm had been stiff, but certain exercises had helped to get his range of motion back.

Overall, things were back to normal in the Petersheim household, except for the ache Rosa had felt in her heart ever since Anthony returned to New York.

Rosa had known when he left that she’d probably never see him again, but she’d hoped he might keep in touch by calling once in a while to see how she was doing.

It’s probably just as well , Rosa told herself as she sat on the front porch the first Saturday of May, watching numerous birds flitter from tree to tree as they took their turn at the various feeders Tena had set out.

“Mind if I join you?” Mom asked, taking a seat next to Rosa.

“Of course not.” Rosa mustered a smile.

“The weather is quite nice today, jah?”

“For sure, and it’s good to spend a few minutes outside where we can watch the birds and breathe in some fresh air.”

“Speaking of birds,” Mom said, pointing to the grassy area of their front yard, “do you see those two frisky robins that have both pulled up fresh worms?”

Rosa eyed the birds in question and nodded. “Those busy birds showed up soon after all the winter snow melted.”

“That’s usually how it goes.” Mom glanced at the empty wrought-iron shepherd’s hooks closest to the porch. “Soon it’ll be time to get the hummingbird feeders out and fill them with nectar. I always look forward to that.”

“Me too. Or at least I did before I took off on my own.” Rosa pulled in some air and released it with a groan.

“I’ve said it before, but I can’t begin to tell you how guilty I feel for running off like that and causing you and the rest of the family to worry about me.

” Well, maybe not Susan , Rosa thought. I doubt that she missed me at all.

Mom reached for Rosa’s hand and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “What’s done is done, Rosa. You can’t change the past, and you’ve apologized. It’s time to move forward with your life and look to the future.”

“I know, and I’m trying. It’s just hard to forgive myself for hurting you.”

“I’ve forgiven you, Daughter, but have you asked God’s forgiveness?”

“Yes, but …”

“There are no buts. If you have confessed your wrongs to the Lord, and asked Him to forgive you, then your wrongdoing has been forgiven and you must stop dwelling on it.” Mom spoke with conviction.

“What you must do now is be a good mother to your child when it’s born in a few months and commit your life to the heavenly Father. ”

Rosa’s head moved slowly up and down. “Must I join the Amish church in order to do that?”

Mom tapped her fingers on the arms of her chair. “Your daed would probably say that in addition to confessing your sins, you should take classes in preparation of joining the church and becoming a baptized member.”

“Is that what you believe I should do, Mom?”

“Only if you truly want to, but if you don’t feel led to join the Amish church, there are other options.”

“Such as?”

“You could attend, and eventually join, one of the Mennonite churches in the area, or perhaps one of the evangelical churches that preach holiness.” Rosa’s mother looked at her with a steady gaze.

“I have to admit, it would be nice if you became a member in our Amish church district, but it’s entirely up to you.

I don’t think you should be pressured either way. The decision must be yours.”

Rosa appreciated her mother’s understanding, and she said so. “I hope during the years when I am raising my child that I’ll be as thoughtful and supportive as you are, Mom.”

“If you give God first place in your life, He will guide and direct you all the days of your life.”

Rosa nodded. “Yes, Mom, that’s exactly what I plan to do. I just don’t know yet if it will include joining the Amish church.”

“Well, whatever decision you make, I’ll be praying that it will be the right one for both you and the baby.”

“How come you hardly ever smile?” Noah Esh asked as he stood in front of the checkout counter inside the Meat and Cheese Store, waiting for Susan to bag up the items he’d purchased.

Susan wrinkled her nose as she squinted at him. “There’s not much to smile about.”

He reached under his straw hat and tweaked his left earlobe. “Are you serious? If you look around, there’s always something to smile or laugh about.”

“Like what?”

“For one thing, this beautiful weather we’re having. Blue skies and sunshine—those two things alone are enough to make me feel joyous.”

“Good for you. The weather’s still a little too chilly for my liking.” She slipped the meat and cheese packages into a paper sack and handed it to him.

“So you prefer the warmer months of summer?”

Susan shrugged. “Mostly. But not when it gets too hot or so muggy that your clothes stick to your skin like flypaper.”

He leaned forward a bit, arms resting on the counter. “If I’m hearing you right, it’s only perfect weather—not too hot—not too cold—that would put a smile on your face?”

Susan took a step back. She didn’t appreciate having someone in her space—especially a good-looking fellow like Noah, with hair the color of straw and eyes so blue a person could get lost in the depths of them.

It wasn’t that Susan had any interest in the young harness maker’s apprentice.

Or maybe he’d surpassed that title by now and had become a full-fledged, able-bodied harness maker.

For all Susan knew, Noah might be as good at the trade as Ephraim Peight and his dad.

Either way, it didn’t matter, because she had no interest in him at all, other than to take his money whenever he came into the store for meat and cheese.

Susan was pretty sure that Noah probably had a girlfriend, anyway.

Most young Amish women her age were looking for nice-looking fellows with a steady job, hoping for a marriage proposal if they found an acceptable man.

Not Susan, though. After what Ben had put her through, she was done with men.

“How come you’re looking at me so strangely?”

Noah’s question put an end to Susan’s musings. “Oh, I was just thinking about something. It didn’t pertain to you, though.”

“That’s good. I thought maybe part of my lunch had been left on my face.” Noah chuckled.

Susan made no comment, nor did she crack a smile.

“Do you like to fish?” he asked, making no move to leave the store.

Susan shook her head. “Not particularly. Why do you ask?”

“Because fishing can be a lot of fun, and it sure makes me smile.”

Smile … smile … smile … Is that all Noah can think to talk about? And why is he still standing here, looking at me with such a smug expression?

“I can’t imagine what would be so fun about sitting for hours, waiting for a stupid fish to bite.” Susan wrinkled her nose once again.

“And having to clean and cook the smelly thing would definitely not be my idea of fun.”

“What is your idea of fun?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe volleyball, but I’m not that good at it. I could never compete with my sister Rosa, that’s for sure. She’s always been a champion at the game.”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about competing with her for a while, since from what I’ve heard, she’s in a family way.”

“That’s true.”

“What? That she’s expecting a baby, or that you won’t have to compete with her?”

“Both. I’m sick of walking in my sister’s shadow and trying to make people notice me.”

“You have a pretty face, so I’m sure there are plenty of guys who have noticed you.”

A feeling of warmth started at the base of Susan’s neck and quickly traveled up to her face.

Was Noah flirting with her or simply teasing and trying to get a rise out of her, like Alvin often did?

Norman used to do it sometimes too, but since he’d married Salina and settled into being a husband, he rarely teased Susan anymore.

If anything, the only thing Susan got from her older brother was “do this” or “do that” at the store, or comments about Susan’s negative attitude.

She was tired of being put down or ignored.

Since Rosa had come home, things had gotten even worse for Susan, because all Mom talked about these days was the excitement of becoming a grandmother once Rosa’s baby was born.

Her mother also went on and on about how nice it was to have Rosa living at home again.

Susan wondered what was so special about Rosa.

And how come their mother accepted Rosa’s apology so easily when she returned home after being absent for such a long time?

I’ll bet if that had been me who’d run away, I wouldn’t have been welcomed home so easily.

Noah snapped his fingers, bringing Susan’s thoughts to a halt once again. “Hey! You looked like you were spacing off again, and you didn’t answer my last question.”

“Umm … what did you want to know?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to the next young people’s singing with me.”

Susan’s eyes opened wide, and she clamped her teeth together to keep her mouth from dropping open. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. I meant every word.”

“Why would you want to go anywhere with me? I don’t smile, remember?”

“Exactly.” He tipped his hat in her direction. “And I’d like a chance to prove that you do have the ability to crack a smile once in a while.”

“How is attending a young people’s singing going to make me feel happy enough to smile?”