Page 48 of The Pretender (Mifflin County Mysteries #3)
S OON AFTER S USAN ‘ S FAMILY ARRIVED home from church that afternoon, Susan decided she must tell her parents and Rosa about the lies she’d told and beg for their forgiveness.
Her stomach felt like it had been tied up in knots, and her mouth was so dry she could barely swallow.
But she couldn’t wait any longer to unburden her soul.
Fortunately, Tena and Alvin had changed out of their church clothes and gone for a walk to one of the neighbors’ homes to see the new pony that had recently been purchased for one of their children.
The last thing Susan wanted was for her younger sister and brother to hear her confession.
They might need to know eventually, but not today.
“Mom, Dad, I need to talk with you both, and also Rosa,” Susan said when she entered the living room, where her parents sat.
“Rosa is resting in the guest room right now,” Mom responded. “She had a restless night, which is why she didn’t go to church with us this morning.”
“What I have to say is really important, and it involves her.”
“Is it a matter of life and death?” Dad asked, looking at Susan over the magazine he’d been reading.
“Well, no, but …”
“Then it can wait till Rosa comes out of her room.”
“Maybe you can tell us whatever you have on your mind during supper this evening,” Mom suggested.
Susan shook her head. “No, it can’t wait that long.
Besides, Noah Esh will be coming here at five to take me to a young people’s singing tonight.
” Her heart began to race, and she drew in a few quick breaths, wishing she could take back what she’d just blurted out.
Why did I tell them that? I don’t even want to go, and I was hoping I could find some way to get out of it.
Mom’s eyes opened wide, and she got up from her seat and came over to give Susan a hug. “That’s wunderbaar! I’m happy to hear that you’ll be attending a young people’s function.” She smiled widely. “And with a nice young man like Noah, no less. I hope you’ll have an enjoyable evening.”
Dad set his magazine aside and looked at Susan with raised brows. “Have you and Noah been seeing each other on the sly?”
She gave a quick shake of her head. “No way! He came into the store a week ago Saturday, and while I was packaging up the items he’d bought, right out of the blue, he asked if I’d go to the singing and said he’d be by to get me at five o’clock this evening.”
“I see. Well, your mother’s right—it will be good for you to attend the event.”
Oh, great! Now I’m stuck going to the singing, and unless Rosa comes out of the bedroom soon, I won’t get this confession off my mind before Noah shows up.
Rosa didn’t know how long she’d been sleeping, but her room had darkened, so she rolled over and clicked the battery-operated light on the table by her bed.
It was nearly four o’clock, and even though it might not be dark outside yet, her blinds were closed, which she figured might have accounted for the darkened room.
Rosa heard voices, which she assumed came from the living room down the hall, but she couldn’t make out what was being said.
I wonder if anyone has started fixing a light supper yet. She sat up, smoothed the wrinkles in her dress, put her head covering in place, and went out the door.
Upon entering the living room, Rosa saw Mom and Dad sitting together on the sofa, while Susan stood off to one side with her arms folded.
It was hard to read her sister’s expression, but if Rosa had to guess, she would say that it was one of apprehension.
Rosa wondered if Mom or Dad may have scolded Susan regarding something she’d said or done.
Unfortunately, that had happened frequently since Susan was a child.
But then who am I to judge my sister or anyone else? Rosa thought. Our parents, especially Dad, have been displeased with many things I’ve done over the years, and with good reason. She placed both hands against her stomach. The truth is, I didn’t always make good choices.
“I’m glad you’re awake,” Susan said, approaching Rosa. “I have something to tell you, Mom, and Dad, and I need to do it right now, before I lose my nerve.”
Rosa looked directly at her sister. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“No, but I probably will be after I tell you the truth.”
“The truth about what?” Dad questioned.
“It’s regarding all the lies I told you concerning Rosa when she had disappeared.” Susan lowered her gaze.
“What lies did you tell about me?” Rosa’s voice cracked as she posed the question.
“Well, I … umm …”
“Girls, I think it would be good if you both took a seat.” Mom gestured to the two vacant chairs in the room.
Feeling a bit wobbly on her feet, Rosa didn’t hesitate, and she seated herself in the rocking chair. Susan shuffled over and sank into their father’s recliner.
“Go ahead, Susan,” Dad spoke up. “Tell us what lies you told about Rosa.”
No doubt feeling quite apprehensive, Susan gripped her hands together and glanced at the clock on the far wall. “To start with, Rosa was right when she said that she did leave a note in her room that explained that she was leaving home and listed her reasons.”
“How do you know this?” The question came from their mother, as she leaned slightly forward and cupped her right elbow with her left hand.
“Because I found the note and destroyed it.”
“Why would you do that?” The muscles along the midsection of Rosa’s back tightened.
“I—I didn’t want Mom and Dad to know you had left of your own accord or that you had planned to keep in touch.”
Dad’s right fist came down hard in his left palm. “That’s lecherich , Susan!”
“Your daed is correct,” Mom interjected. “That is just plain ridiculous. Why would you not want us to know the reason your sister left home? Didn’t you realize how worried we were?”
“And not just worried, but the stress of not knowing where Rosa was caused your mamm to get sick because she was concerned that something horrible may have happened to her.” Dad’s voice became louder with each word he spoke.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Susan slumped in her chair. “The sermon we heard today on the subject of lying caused me to realize what a horrible thing I had done.”
“But why?” Mom asked once more. “What reason did you have for destroying Rosa’s note?”
“I already said it—I didn’t want you to know that she’d left of her own accord.” Susan put a hand against her mouth as a muffled sob came forth. “I figured if I kept the truth to myself, you might come to care more for me than her.”
Mom blinked rapidly. “Are you serious, Susan? Did you actually think I favored Rosa over you?”
“Jah, I did, and I still do.” Tears coursed down Susan’s red face.
“It’s not true,” Mom said. “I love all my children equally. Each one of you has a special place in my heart, and I’ve never intentionally played favorites.”
Susan reached for a tissue from the box on the little table beside the recliner and blew her nose. “Well, it hasn’t always seemed that way.
After Rosa left, you paid me more attention than you had before, and I did everything I could think of to be supportive and help out around here in order to make it easier for you.”
“And your actions were appreciated,” Mom said.
“Wait a minute.” Rosa held up her hand. “There’s something else we need to talk about.”
“What’s that?” Dad asked.
“How about the letters and postcards I mailed home to give an update on where I was, so you wouldn’t worry about me?”
“We told you before, Rosa—we never got any of them,” Mom replied. “Nor did we receive phone calls or voicemail messages from you.”
“Would you know anything about that?” Dad pointed at Susan.
She slunk a little farther down in her chair. “Jah, Dad, I do.”
“Well then, tell us.”
“I deleted all of Rosa’s phone messages, and when I found letters or cards from her in the mailbox, I destroyed those too.
After a while, the letters and calls quit coming, so I figured Rosa had given up trying to reach anyone and wasn’t coming home.
” Susan reached for another tissue and blotted the tears on her cheeks.
“I’m an unworthy daughter and a terrible sister, and I don’t know if any of you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Even so, I am truly sorry for all the lies I told, and for not letting you know when Rosa’s messages came in.
” She looked at their father. “If I was a child, I would willingly go out to the woodshed so you could punish me, Dad. But I guess I’m too old for you to bletsche me. ”
“You are right, Susan,” Dad agreed. “A spanking would not be appropriate at your age, nor would it change what you have done to hurt your sister, not to mention your mamm, me, and your other siblings. You need to apologize to them as well, because everyone was worried sick about Rosa.”
“And don’t forget that your brother Norman spent many hours searching for Rosa,” Mom said. “His determination to find Rosa almost cost him the relationship he had established with Salina.”
Susan bobbed her head. “I am well aware, and I will apologize to each of my siblings. I doubt that anyone will forgive me, though.” She looked at Rosa. “Least of all, you.”
The clock’s chime struck five, and Susan’s eyes widened. “Oh no! Noah will be here soon, and I’m in no condition to go with him to the singing. When he gets here, could someone please tell him that I’m unable to go?”
“Unable or unwilling?” Dad questioned.
“Umm … well … look at me.” She gestured to her tearstained face. “If Noah were to see me like this, he’d know I’ve been crying and expect me to explain.”
“Maybe discussing this with him would do you some good,” Mom stated.