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Chapter Twenty-Three

BODE

“W hat about this?” Stevie holds up a hanger. The matching set has brown striped pants with a giraffe on the sweater.

“I don’t know. Brown doesn’t seem like Caleb’s color.”

“You do realize how cute he’ll look in this, right?” Stevie rolls her eyes at me and holds it up to the baby in question. He’s sitting in the baby seat in the cart as we wheel him around the store. “I’m getting it for him and you can’t stop me.”

“Caleb is already spoiled enough. He doesn’t need more things.”

Stevie crosses her arms and looks from me to the shopping cart. “Bode. You cannot say he is spoiled and doesn’t need more things when this cart is overflowing with things for him.”

“I’m not spoiling him,” I defend. “He needs these things for winter.”

Caleb’s brown eyes flit between the two of us. Like he can’t decide what is going on and who is right.

“You have two coats for him. Why does he need two coats?”

Stevie cocks an eyebrow at me and holds both of them up.

“What if he spills on one?”

“He’s a baby. Of course he’s going to spill on it. Wipe it up and move on.”

“But he’d look good in both of them. How can I choose?”

“He’s a baby. Babies look cute in everything. Even if you think brown isn’t his color.”

Glancing down at the baby in question, I have to admit Stevie isn’t wrong. On this outing today, I put Caleb in joggers, a little Knights sweatshirt, and a beanie to match. With the weather starting to turn cold, I wanted to make sure he was warm. He’s been playing with a stuffed hockey stick the whole time we’ve been here.

“Fine.” I grab the black coat from her hand and find the rack to hang it back up. “But if he destroys his coat and we don’t have one for him, I’m blaming you.”

She stops me before I can push the cart any farther away and tugs me back. Her blue eyes are playful. “Does that mean you’re going to punish me?”

My eyes dart around, making sure there isn’t anyone near us. After that woman approached me at the bar, I can’t be too careful. “You cannot say things like that in the middle of a store, Stephanie.”

She rolls her eyes at my use of her full name, then waggles her eyebrows at me. “Maybe I meant to say it…”

Burying my face in her neck, I press a chaste kiss to her warm skin. “There will be a lot of spanking tonight.”

I can feel her shudder all the way to my toes. Until Caleb lets out a cry. Turning to face him, I laugh at his bottom lip sticking out.

“Are you sad we’re not paying you attention?” Stevie blows a raspberry on his cheek, which earns her a happy squeal.

“If I cry and pout like that, will I get attention?”

She shakes her head. “No. It’s only for the cute ones.”

Damn. I laugh as I follow her to the front of the store. Who knew shopping for baby things could be so fun?

The checkout area is busy as we make our way to one of the lines. I give my hat a nervous tug down. I don’t want to spend the rest of the afternoon fielding picture or autograph requests. I want to pay, pack up the car, and go home and hang out with Stevie and Caleb.

The ideal day.

I smile as we start to unload the cart. The cashier gushes over how cute Caleb is as she checks us out. Thankfully, we manage to make it out of the store without anyone spotting me. I load up the car while Stevie buckles Caleb into his car seat.

You couldn’t wipe the grin off my face the entire way home if you tried. How can shopping make me feel so good?

I’ve come to learn it’s the little things that matter. I always used to give Marcus grief over him wanting to spend so much time with Harper and his kids, but now I understand it. I crave it more than anything. More than hockey even.

These low-key days with Stevie and Caleb are everything.

“You are quiet,” Stevie tells me as I pull into the driveway and shut the engine off.

“Just thinking.”

“Yeah? What about?”

Unbuckling herself, she pauses as I lean across the console. Sunglasses hide her eyes. There’s an easy smile on her lips.

“You. Caleb. Today.”

“And?”

“I’m happy.”

She gives me a quick peck on the lips. “I am too.”

My heart swells at hearing that.

How did I get so lucky to find someone like Stevie? That our lives managed to combust at the exact same time and we crossed paths?

Getting out of the truck, I start to unload the bags from the back. Caleb is snoring softly. “If you want to put him to sleep in my room, we can unpack everything in his.”

Stevie nods, unhooking the car seat and carrying him inside.

I whistle as I head straight to Caleb’s room to start pulling everything out of bags. Half of the clothes in the closet go into tubs to be returned to Marcus and Harper. The others that he grew out of, I’ll donate.

The room aired out nicely after I had it painted a light blue. With new furniture delivered, I’m ready to make this room his.

“We really did some damage today, didn’t we?” Stevie asks, wrapping her arms around me.

“Did he go down okay?”

Pressing onto her toes, she kisses my cheek. “Didn’t make a peep.”

She grabs a bag and starts taking the hangers off and tossing the clothes into the laundry basket. Something else I learned. You always have to wash new baby things.

Who knew?

“Where do you want the pictures?”

Moving on from the clothes, Stevie holds up the new prints.

“Above the crib.”

We work together like we’ve been doing this our whole lives. I hang the new art while she arranges the books and blankets we bought.

Before I know it, cries can be heard from my room.

“I’ll go get him,” Stevie tells me.

“Thanks. I’ll do one last sweep to make sure everything is cleaned up.”

I don’t want any stray things going into his mouth.

I lean against the wall and slide down to the floor, surveying our hard work as Stevie walks in and takes a seat next to me. Caleb is still waking up from his nap.

“This feels more like Caleb,” she tells me.

“It does.”

He doesn’t care, but I do. His room before felt like a quick fix to get it ready for him. Now that his personality is shining through, I wanted a place that was more his.

The late-afternoon sun streams into the room, reflecting off the blue walls. Watercolor pictures of animals playing hockey hang above his crib. The oversized chair was replaced with a rocking chair that has a soft baby blanket thrown across it along with Caleb’s favorite stuffie.

A new stack of books sits on his dresser, my favorite being the ABCs of Hockey .

Stevie is bouncing Caleb on her lap, and emotions bubble up inside me. Seeing her with my son brings up emotions I never thought I would experience. I was fine being a lone wolf, doing life on my own. I didn’t want to rely on anyone.

Maybe it was because I never met anyone like Stevie.

I don’t have to be anyone but myself when I’m with her. She doesn’t care that I’m a hockey player or about my past. I’m not putting on a front. I never thought I’d be the kind to stay in every night, but I want to. I’d rather spend all my time playing board games with Stevie and Caleb than go out to bars. Being with Stevie makes me feel more whole than I’ve ever been in my life.

How can one person heal all my broken parts?

How can I say those three little words to her when I’ve never said them before? It feels too heavy. Like if I say them, I’ll mess up everything we have together.

“Hey.” I rub a hand down Stevie’s back. She turns to me, a happy smile on her face. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I am too.”

Maybe that’s all I need to say for now. Until I figure out how exactly to confess my feelings to her.