Page 57 of The Pactbound Angel (The Soul Mirror Duet #1)

The Last Lesson

Almost a week later, there was a knock on my chamber door, gentle but insistent.

At this hour? Gods, I hope it’s not the queen grumbling about my choice of gowns again.

I opened it to see Ramiren standing there, and I choked on my heart as it flew into my throat. It took everything I had to not crush him in an embrace, even if wriggling doubt nagged me

So, I kept the giddiness at bay. I had not seen him in the last week. Not since the day I had broken down, and he’d been forced to calm me. There was no indication he’d thought less of me, but our parting was filled with numb goodbyes.

I kept my mind busy as best I could with dress measurements, learning my place here, what my duties would be, and being introduced to important staff, namely the housekeeper and the head butler, and countless courtiers who’d come out of the woodwork now that the mischief hag was gone.

They all had their opinions on me and my presence, but at least the staff were subtle about their more negative comments.

Some things never change, no matter where you are. They’d all accept me in time.

I was strongly discouraged from going outside the castle, for my safety.

Though they never specified exactly what they were keeping me safe from, I assumed more of the mischief hag’s henchmen were still roaming about and very few guards could be provided for an escort with the increase of present nobility for the wedding.

And I wanted to make them happy, after all, not worried for my wellbeing.

If the henchmen were as skilled as the two I faced in the street, I couldn’t exactly blame them.

I was told Ramiren, my one remaining friend in the city, had tried to see me, but the queen disapproved of the visit, saying it would spread unfair gossip. She said she didn’t want to put me in that position.

Fast wagging tongues could destroy reputations, and I was just getting acquainted with everyone, so I didn’t argue too vehemently there either.

But seeing him now, I realized just how badly I’d missed my friend.

I missed his touch. His embrace. But, most of all, I missed talking to him.

There’d been no whispers from him, and no messages received.

I was completely alone here and knew no one.

I’d tried to make a few friends, but those were among the staff.

When the queen had learned of it, she’d chided me.

How is he here now? How’d he get in?

“Ramiren!” My heart hammered just seeing him again, and I couldn’t help my smile. “How did you-,” I said, stepping to the side to let him enter.

Ramiren walked in and immediately turned to face me, interrupting my question, “So, tomorrow is the day, yes?”

I poked my head out to see if the guards were there, but the corridor was entirely empty. They’re usually right outside my room. I closed the door quietly. “It is, yes. Preparations are done. Guests are settled. Now, I just need to put on a dress and walk.”

“Good, though it seems odd. Almost as though they were expecting you and the preparations began well before he proposed. I wonder if the prince gave his intentions to his parents before courageously coming to our rescue in the street. Which begs the question, why prepare for something that might not actually happen? If you had said no, I mean.” He lowered his head to peer over his glasses at me.

I considered his words and shook my head. “He may not know me well enough to read my mind, but any single woman, I think, would enjoy being a prince’s consort. Especially a handsome one.”

He asked quietly. “And have you? Enjoyed being a prince’s consort?”

My eyebrows furrowed at his question. “I’m not his consort yet.”

It felt like he was trying to make a firm point, but I couldn’t see it.

He stuck his hands in his pockets. I looked and saw the fists ball there. “I see. And what of his heart? His mind? Are those handsome as well?”

Where was this coming from? “I do not know them well enough to ascertain that yet.”

His voice had a strange edge to it. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. Nevertheless, I’m happy for you, if you are happy.”

“Thank you,” I gave a relieved sigh. There was no strength in me to fight him on this. Or anyone. Not anymore.

Ramiren approached me. “Tomorrow is an important day for you, and it’ll be a long one, no doubt. So, if you want to dissolve the pact now, we can.”

My heart went into my throat again with my pulse pounding my skull. No. Not now. Please.

The pact was the last remaining connection we had. In my quiet moments, I could feel it buzzing at the back of my mind. That link was the only reason my sanity hadn’t frayed like an old rug.

I stumbled over words in my head to keep him there. I am not yet married. A lesson. Please. A lesson. “We have one night left. One lesson, if you agree.”

Ramiren’s chest brushed mine as he looked down at me.

He seemed to consider my request, then took his glasses off to clean them on his shirt.

“A last lesson, yes. Part of me hoped you would initiate one. I had a plan, if you consent.” He put his glasses back on, sliding them up his nose with his index finger.

Why not just initiate one yourself, Ramiren? I gave you express permission to.

“Yes. I consent.”

He snapped his fingers. At once, we found ourselves in comfortable surroundings. The pink and white wands sat on the bedside table.

While I undressed, something felt off. Disconnected. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was certainly a difference between the previous lesson and this one.

He motioned toward the large canopy bed as he removed his glasses to set them on a table. “Climb onto the bed, stay by the edge, and bend over at the waist to get onto all fours, facing away from me. Use the wands as you see fit. You remember the command words?”

With a nod, I did as bidden, crawling onto the soft velvet cover with my rear towards him, but I did not reach for the wands yet.

It was a new position. Vulnerable. Unable to see anything except the covers under me, I could only hear his breathing and a hard swallow.

He placed a hand on my left hip, and I inhaled and shifted on the bed at the unexpected touch.

He spoke, and I looked over my right shoulder at him to listen.

“I need to prepare you, first, so this causes as little pain as possible. To be transparent, I’m going to use my fingers in your ass, and in order for this to not be painful, you’ll need to relax as best you can.

Trust me. I won’t hurt you.” He lifted an ornate bottle from the table and put what looked like oil on his fingers.

Whispering my reply, I turned back around, lowering my head to my arms on the mattress with my ass raised towards him, “I trust you.”

He set the bottle down and walked to my side again, running a gentle hand along my spine. I sucked in a breath as my back arched. Tracing fingertips along the curves of my hips and thighs, I heard him take a deep breath.

“You’re not using the wands,” he said. It was not a question, merely a statement.

“No, not yet. I have them within reach, but I didn’t want to spoil this. If that’s the right word.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Understood.”

He did what he promised, using his fingers, preparing me for what was to come.

At first, it was alien. Uncomfortable and invasive.

But the discomfort soon melted away, replaced with the same delicious pressure and pulsing I’d come to expect during a lesson.

I let out a moan, and he added another finger in response.

Again, the discomfort, the slight sting, but I did my best to relax as he instructed.

After a moment, the discomfort receded again and an agonizing need took its place.

When my hips began to move with his fingers, seeking more friction, he slowly removed them and placed more of the oil on me.

When he went to a water basin to wash his hands, I watched him, his face, as a myriad of emotions played out across his body and features.

Some were known to me: need, arousal. Some not.

He looked to be nervously thinking. After drying his hands, he stepped towards me again then stopped abruptly.

His eyes shuttered. “I’m sorry. I don’t think this is a good idea. ”

Wait, no!

My heart withered. I knew something was off. I gazed at him, confused, and sat down on my haunches and turned to look at him fully. “What’s wrong, Ramiren?”

Ramiren stared at me without a word for a long while. Then, he finally spoke, “I have excellent control, but there’s too great a chance of me slipping and accidentally breaking the pact, bringing down consequences quite unfairly.”

I looked at him sideways, unease slipping into my tone. “ What do you mean slipping ?”

He grimaced. “Entering one passage when I meant to enter another. It… can sometimes happen, even with experienced lovers. I really shouldn’t have suggested it.”

I stared at him for a beat, then inhaled sharply while scrambling away. The initial, knee-jerk emotion I felt was one of indignation, like he was trying to manipulate me.

“How d-”

Then, before a sentence I’d surely regret could complete, the emotion softened to acceptance.

And softened again, to understanding.

It’s Ramiren. He wouldn’t do that. Not with this.

It had been disappointment and surprise, not anger, that’d fueled my reaction. He wanted to protect me from a broken pact, and he was certainly within his rights to amend our agreement, to refuse me, to refuse anything. Just as I had the right to refuse.

I was not used to being the one protected. And with Ramiren, there would be no boasting that he did so.

My trust in him was as solid as ever, and I had poorly wrestled with the relentless need, denying myself something desperately yearned for but couldn’t bring myself to surrender to.

All of this pretense. All of these precautions. Why? To assuage my husband’s pride?