Page 69 of The Night
“Nothing, nothing,” Si said. He chuckled lightly. “Just mixing my metaphors. Terrible habit.”
“Hey, you’ve got some crucial facts wrong, okay, buddy? Liam leftmeback then!”
“Andyoudidn’t go after him.” Silas stood up and brushed pine needles off his pants. His bright blue eyes met mine. “And maybe it would have worked out, and maybe it wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to take a chance any more than Liam did, even though allyouhad to risk was yourpride. You really wanna make the same mistake twice?”
“I’m trying to let him make his own decisions!”
“But how can he make therightdecisions when he doesn’t have all the facts?”
I stared at him blankly for a minute. “I guess… he can’t.”
Si shook his head. “Nope, he can’t. So, then…?”
“I’ve got to get home.” I ran a hand over my head. “Right away. But first I’ve gotta get Hazel, and pay Angela, and haul this beast to the truck.”
“I’ll ask Angela to let Hazel stay here for the afternoon and drop her back home later. They’ll both love it. And I’ll get the tree out to your place too.”
“On your own?” I shook my head. “You can’t possibly—”
“I promise, I can.”
“I owe you one, Si.” I shook his shoulder lightly.
He winked and shoved gently at my shoulder. “Go, Gideon.”
I jogged down the line of trees toward the exit, and when I looked back half a minute later, Silas and the tree were gone.
Chapter Thirteen
Liam
I shutthe screen of my laptop and pushed back from the desk in Gideon’s office with a sigh. I’d gotten edits done on nearly all the Christmas portraits I’d taken so far, and I’d even had time to work on a few of the shots I’d taken while I was out hiking the other day. I wasn’t sure whether they’d make it into the collection I’d planned to assemble, but it didn’t matter. There’d be other collections.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt sogoodabout a day when I’d done so little. But I liked it.
I’d woken up in the darkness and felt Gideon’s arms around me as he snored gently in my ear. All the Christmas lights in the neighborhood had been turned off, the entire house had been silent—not a single dancing Santa or prowling kitten to disturb the peace—and for half a second, I’d felt restless, not because I’d had something I needed to do, but because I’d thought Ishould.
Therehadto be something to do, right? There wasalwayssomething to do. Emails to check, Hazel’s homework to review, paperwork to fill out, pictures to edit, phone calls to make, presents—so many presents—to buy, things that needed to be thought about, and rethought about, and decided on. Hazel was outgrowing her boots, we were outgrowing our apartment, my boss was distinctly Scroogey about my extra time out of town, and the guy behind me was two hundred pounds of overthinking waiting to happen.
But the bed had been warm, my pillow had been comfy, and my phone had been downstairs. I hadn’t wanted to disturb Gideon or move even one millimeter away from him. And as I’d lain there, I’d noticed I had a clear view of the indigo sky and a smattering of twinkling stars above the house across the street. I’d stayed as still as I could, hardly breathing, and watched as the world changed around me. The stars winked out. The sky got darker, then lighter again.
I’d started thinking about what Everett had said the other day. About how deserving things didn’t matter sometimes. About how we feel like we have to carve out places for ourselves in the world, to carve out the parts ofusthat don’t fit in the world… but no one ever tells us when it’s time to stop carving. We end up strip-mining ourselves and wonder why we’re depleted.
Everett had said to take things as they came, and I’d legit even tried to dothatactively, white-knuckling my way to happiness like there was a way to objectively measure how well I was doing it. Like there was a way to objectively measure how well I was doinglife.
Down the hall, my daughter was cuddled in bed with a cat, dreaming that Santa was real and plotting world domination, and when morning came, she was going to go pick out areal, liveChristmas tree for the first time ever, Daddy. The guy I loved was holding me tight, and whatever happened tomorrow or the next day, I had thatright nowwhen I’d thought I’dneverhave it again. I had work to do in the morning that I enjoyed. I was warm, and full, and in need of a shower. Christmas was coming.
I was happy. Hazel was happy. Gideon was happy.
And that wasenough. That waseverything.
So I’d fallen back to sleep.
When I’d woken up again, I’d carried that peace with me. And while I would probably always think of the night I’d met Gideon as the best night of my life, last night had been a close second.
The night I’d met the love of my life, and the night I’d realized I could actually keep him.
I heard a car door slam out in the driveway and I smiled to myself, psyching myself up for the next few hours of full-on-Hazel tree-decorating mania. I ran down the stairs and reached the hall just as the doorbell rang.