Page 43 of The Night
ThenI was on the way to the airport, flying toward the biggest job of mylife, and it wasn’t until I was on the plane, an hour after the phone call, and I’d checked my passport, phone, and ticket for the twelfth time, that I realized why I had the nagging feeling I’d forgotten something vitally important: Gideon had no idea where I’d gone.
And I was such a fucking idiot, I’d gottenmarriedto the man without knowing his cell phone number.
Which, you know, was the kind of horrifying realization I should have hadbeforetying myself legally to a perfect stranger.
There was an order to these thingsfor a reason.
“Then I realized I had responsibilities,” I told Everett sadly because that’s what it all boiled down to in the end, right? “And wanting to be with Gideon was the selfish choice, not the right choice. So I left.”
“You… left. Just like that?”
I searched his face for anger or judgement, but he just seemed confused.
“Kinda, yeah. I thought about contacting him a million times, but… at first, it would have been too hard because I missed him, and I figured a clean break would be best.” I shrugged. “After that, it would’ve been too hard because I had my life—mykid—to take care of, and I figured he’d moved on. What good would it have done to explain all this stuff?”
Ev winced, and I remembered Gideon saying,“What could I have done better?”
“It was shitty,” I said baldly. “Just… poorly done. I don’t regret leaving, but I regret the way I left.”
“Have you told him that?”
I shook my head. “He doesn’t want explanations. He claims he’s not angry anymore. He claims he can’tnotbe nice to me. But… how?” I ran a hand through my hair. “Andthisis why O’Leary has no reason to help me out. You’re a bunch of matchmakers trying to make the wrong match.”
“Hmmm. First things first. You look at Gideon and see anger? Because personally, I have never seen him smile the way he did this morning. Real talk, dude is the most misanthropic person I’ve ever met, and coming from me, that’s saying something. But with you he’s…” Everett paused, considering. “Lighter, I think. He reallyisnicer to you.”
“Please.” I snorted. “That’s because last night we—” I snapped my mouth shut and felt my cheeks flame.
Ev’s eyes went round. “Ohhhh. Well, then.Well, then. The spark’s not out entirely, is it?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I said, not really sure what kind ofthatI was talking about. “It was a momentary… loss of… judgement.”
“I’ve had one or two of those,” Everett said. He grinned mischievously.
“No no no. You heard what I told you about us before, right? The physical shit is the easy part. The spark isalwaysthere. It doesn’tmeananything.”
“It doesn’tnecessarilymean anything,” he agreed. “Are you dating someone?”
“Not exactly. No. I have a friend.”
“A friend?” He was back to wry amusement again. “Just the one?”
“Just the one who, like… wants…more.” I waved a hand. “Can we stop talking now?”
“Sorry,no. Turns out I’m a Lattimer after all,” Everett mused, “because I’m feeling the distinct urge to meddle and provide all sorts of advice even though it’s none of my business. So! Tell me about this friend. Is he…zing?”
I thought about Scott and his stupid text message.
“Ah, no. He’s kind of the anti-zing. He called mesunshinetoday. Like, out of nowhere.” I rolled my eyes. “But he’s a decent guy. We have a lot in common. We’ve known each other for a year now. Similar careers—enough to understand but not be competitive. We both live in Boston. We like the same kind of coffee. He gives me a shot of realism when I start to get ahead of myself. So, you know, all the stuff that’s maybebetterthan zing.”
Everett raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“No, seriously! Would you want to be struck by lightning every day for the rest of your life? O-or feel helplessly attracted to someone when you don’t evenknowthem? Or would you rather have someone you liked a fair amount, who fit into your life, who was a decent person for your kid to have around, and wouldn’t make you… make you…” I broke off.
“Happy?” Everett supplied.
I blinked. “What? No.”
“Okay, let’s go over what we know.” He set his elbows on his knees and leaned toward me. “Five years ago, you met Gideon and you married him basically immediately because it felt right at the time.”