Page 30 of The Nanny Outside the Gates

TWENTY-THREE

GAVRIEL

I was thrilled to have completed the roof rafters and ceiling panels, but now the sound of Frau Sch?fer bellowing at her children in a plea to quieten down fills the air—never mind the poor baby crying.

They sent Halina somewhere this morning, on her own, and I don’t know where or why.

We only crossed paths as I was coming into the house, and we shouldn’t be making eye contact with one another.

I was relieved to see she was in one piece, then to also see the alcove in the attic was untouched too, but that moment of comfort dissolved when she was sent out on her own.

In the time I was around the last nanny, she was never once separated from the children until her last day.

I can’t keep myself from glancing out the window every minute, hoping I’ll see her returning from wherever she went, but all I see are the kids from down the street chasing a football.

“Excuse me,” a small voice utters from behind my back.

I almost drop the wooden panels for the window boxing.

I spin around, finding the younger of the two older girls—Marlene, the one with big, sad blue eyes and a little nubbin nose.

She could be an illustration in a children’s storybook with her doll-like features.

“What are you doing up here all alone, sweetheart?”

She cups her hand to the side of her mouth and whispers, “Do you know when Papa will let Hali come back?”

Hali. She’s already given Halina a nickname.

“I’m sorry to say, I’m not quite sure where she went this morning. Did your papa send her somewhere?”

Marlene shrugs. “Mama said Hali had business to handle with Papa at work.”

In Auschwitz.

My stomach pinches and terror grips me like a vice as I gaze at Marlene’s little face.

“Your mama doesn’t know you’re up here, does she?”

Marlene shakes her head, slowly, unsure if she should be confessing anything to me, I’m sure.

“You don’t want to be caught up here talking to me,” I tell her. I should be more concerned about what would happen if I was caught talking to her. I’ll be the one to get in more trouble than she ever will.

“I just don’t want them to hurt Hali. She’s the nicest girl we’ve ever had.” Marlene’s lips fall into a simper. “They never let us love anyone for long.”

It’s hard to absorb everything the five-year-old is saying, and take it for what it’s worth, but it’s been made clear she’s seen far more than any other young girl I’ve ever known, and she knows too much, just the same.

“You know, when something worries me, I always ask myself why…and what reasons I have. And if I do that now, I can’t think of any reason your parents would have to hurt Hali,” I say, more for myself than her.

“Well…Mama is upset with her for hurting Flora. She said, ‘That girl has something to prove, and she’ll do so at any cost—even Flora’s’. But I’m not sure what that means. If anything, Hali has made Flora’s belly hurt less.”

The only person I’ve seen hurt around here besides Bea, is Frau Sch?fer. How could she or Marlene think Halina’s done anything to Flora? “Do you think Halina hurt Flora?” I ask.

“Her name is Hali. No, I don’t think so. Hali has the softest hands, even when she takes my hand. Someone like that can’t hurt someone else.”

“Marlene! Where are you?” Frau Sch?fer shouts.

Marlene’s cheeks flush. “Oh…” she squeaks under her breath. “Papa’s going to give me a whipping if I get in trouble with Mama.”

Her words shred my heart into pieces, just thinking what they might have done to this poor child.

“Tiptoe down the stairs, quiet as a mouse. Then tell her you were looking for a book in your bedroom.”

Marlene holds her finger up to her lips and turns for the stairs.

“Marlene Sch?fer, you better answer me right now, young lady!”

As soon as Marlene is in the clear, I look out the window again, finding the children still playing with the football, and now their nannies talking on a patch of grass, staring at this house as if there’s a secret to tell. What do they know?