Page 35 of The Me I Left Behind (Tuckaway Bay #4)

“He was in a meeting. I left another message. I’m sure he’s avoiding me.”

“Typical.”

Julia agreed. “Yes.”

“And the McDowell case? Caroline’s death? Anything there?”

She shook her head and stacked some papers, sliding them into her briefcase. “I found a few things I want to dive into this afternoon. I’m also going to make some calls on my way home. I will keep you posted.”

“Thanks, Julia. You’ve done a lot already this morning. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.”

Julia gave her a nod and a quick grin. “I do.” She picked up her phone.

“While you were gone, I took pictures of the desk and the golf clubs. I hope you don’t mind.

I’ll see what I can do to get those sold and I’ll be in touch.

If you can, look around the house for anything else to sell. I’m happy to help.”

“Are you sure, Julia? This is a lot.”

She smiled. “It’s fine. The thought of selling Max’s clubs brings me great pleasure.”

Maggie laughed. “Me too. Honestly.” She glanced at Julia’s list again. “There’s one more thing you wanted to discuss?

Julia made direct eye contact. “Yeah. The kids.”

Turning, and with a deep exhale, Maggie went to the sofa in the family room. “Come sit down. This is not a standing discussion.”

Julia came with her and sat. “You know what I am going to say, right?”

“That my kids are a mess?”

“Well, that’s not exactly how I was going to put it.”

Maggie leaned forward, not looking at Julia but staring at the dark television set.

“I know my kids, Julia. Chloe has had issues since she was young because Max basically dismissed her. Jason is an adolescent boy trying to figure out what kind of man he is going to be, and Max’s insufficient role model, past and present, isn’t helping.

He’s always been my buddy, but right now, he’s questioning everything—and that includes my role in all this mess.

Carol? She’s not sure whether I’m her friend or her foe at the moment, mostly because she’s being pulled in two directions—family and boyfriend.

Plus, she’s getting ready to launch from the nest, and with all this family drama going on, I’m sure that will not be a simple transition. ”

“Well,” Julia said, “I think that pretty much sums it up.”

“I’m on top of it. I promise.”

“I just want to make sure. Don’t ignore any warning signs, and if you can’t help them, then find someone they can talk to. In fact, the judge might suggest counseling, so be thinking.”

“I will.”

“And don’t forget to talk to Carol about college. That was an interesting twist.”

Maggie glanced off, thinking. “I know. I don’t think I’m going to push it with her right now. It’s not the right time.”

Julia nodded. “You’ve noticed Chloe’s food obsession?”

“Goodness, yes.” She rose and stepped toward the TV, then turned.

“Max ignored her from the start and Chloe made herself invisible. If she called attention to herself in any way, good or bad, Max would get annoyed and either belittle her or shout at her. I think the food thing right now is her way of being invisible—kind of like she’s sinking into the food, so she won’t have to deal with what’s going on around her.

But honestly, Julia, I’ve seen her shine lately, too.

That art project she worked on last night? I swear it brought out the real Chloe.”

Smiling, Julia said, “She takes after you.”

“I’d love to get back into my art one of these days soon.”

“You should.” Julia stood also and crossed the room. “It might be good therapy.”

She’d considered that. “It might. Getting Chloe’s art supplies whetted my appetite again. There are classes at the store. I might take one down the road—a refresher. But not yet.”

“If you can carve out the time, I think you should do that as soon as you want to. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, Maggie. You can’t take care of all the others unless you are healthy yourself.”

How well she knew that. She was proud of herself for recognizing that sometimes it was okay to put herself first.

Her own mother was the poster child for not taking care of herself.

Had she worked on being healthy herself—mentally and physically—things might have turned out differently for them in the past, and well, even in the present.

They may have even been able to salvage a relationship.

But she’d long given up on the idea that she and her mother could have a healthy relationship in the future.

“I’ve been rehashing a lot of my past lately, things I screwed up, things I let go, things I wish I’d said or done…

I’ve been recalling some issues I had with my mother and trying not to make the same mistakes with my children.

The memories, the flashbacks, are vivid—some I hadn’t thought about in years. ”

Julia reached for her and gave her a hug. “Are you okay?”

The significance of that didn’t go unnoticed. Hugs from Julia were a rare thing. “I’m good. I finally feel I’m dealing with all that.”

“Mags, from what you’ve shared about your mother over the years, I don’t think you are anywhere close to being like her.”

“God, Julia. I hope not.”

Julia flashed a grin. “Have I told you lately how proud I am of you? Seriously, Mags, you’ve grown leaps and bounds in the past few months, even amid all this absurdity.”

Those words meant more to her than anything. “I’m trying, Julia. I’ve considered therapy again—but honestly? The thought of laying down paint on a canvas is really what I think will pull me back together. Maybe that and a prolonged stay at the beach.” She grinned.

“Talk to Lia about that. I’m sure she can accommodate.”

“Just let me get through graduation.”

“When is that happening again?”

Maggie glanced at the calendar on the fridge. “Next week.”

“I’ll be back then.”

1997

“Deni! Wait up. My college letter came yesterday. Did you get yours?”

Deni Albright turned away from Mary Margaret and opened her locker. “Yes. Mom opened it.” She glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Mothers.”

“Yeah.”

Mary Margaret looked again at the letter. “It says my roommate assignment will come in another letter. I sure hope they didn’t screw up. I can’t wait for us to room together.”

Deni pulled out several books and stuffed them in her backpack.

“Oh? I had a dorm assignment, actually.” She faced her and bit her lip.

“Mary Margaret, Mom wants me to get to know some new people, so she thought it best if we not room together. She changed my application, and took your name off, before she sent it in.”

She stood there, stunned, staring after Deni. They’d planned this forever. What the fuck? “I don’t understand.”

Deni smiled. “No biggie. Right? We’ll still see each other. But there actually is something else I need to tell you.”

“What?”

“It’s about your mom. Something she said to mine.”

Mary Margaret’s heart felt like it dropped—with a palpable thud—a couple of inches lower in her chest. “What did my mom do now?”

“Be prepared for her to get you to ditch the art major. She told my mom that neither of us have a talent for it, so why the hell were we majoring in art, anyway? She was trying to recruit my mom into getting us to change majors.”

Mary Margaret couldn’t utter a word. Art was her first love, her passion.

It was the one thing that she was super good at—or so she had thought.

No talent? Her goal was to be an art teacher, not a Grand Master Painter.

Although she wouldn’t put something like that past her mother, why in the hell had she done that? “She’s not said a word to me.”

Which was true.

“Well, it’s what she told my mom.”

“Right.”

“I gotta go. See you at lunch?”

She nodded at Deni, but really didn’t even see her walk away. “Sure.”

Pulling the college acceptance letter back out of its envelope, she re-read the first paragraph.

We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to attend Eastern Carolinas University beginning the fall semester, 1997, major undeclared. Your dormitory and roommate assignments are forthcoming.

“Mrs. Shepherd called today. She said you’ve not been to your art class in three weeks.”

She’d wondered when that subject would come up. “That sounds about right.”

“We’ve paid for those advanced lessons, so you need to go. Besides, you said you needed the extra push for college. Right?”

Mary Margaret went back to making her sandwich, smearing mustard, then mayonnaise on the bread. “I quit. Not going.”

Her mother quickly crossed the kitchen. “You insisted you should take those classes.”

“Not important now.”

“Why?”

“Undeclared, right?”

“Excuse me?” her mother said.

“Because I’m not majoring in art, Mom. You win.” She’d actually contacted the college and changed her major to business education. Knowing her mother thought she sucked at being an artist would only cloud her entire college career and probably her future if she stayed with art.

It took several seconds for her mother to respond—for it to sink in what she had meant. “What are you going to major in then?”

Mary Margaret met and held her gaze. “I thought maybe I’d major in spreading my legs for the boys.”

Her mother glared.

Mary Margaret didn’t budge.

After a minute, she said, “Well, you need to call her then—Mrs. Shepherd—and tell her you won’t be back. At least we’ll save the cash.”

She broke eye contact and turned, methodically placing the mustard and mayo and deli meat back in the refrigerator. “You call her.”

“Oh no, young lady. That’s your responsibility.”

She laughed. “Really? Not.” She headed to the family room with her sandwich.

“Mary Margaret!”

Ignore her. Let her fucking figure it out. I’m done.

Maggie heard the front door slam shut. She glanced at the clock. Ten. Home just in time. Curfew discussion avoided. She expected Carol would run upstairs to her room, and she’d likely not see her again until morning.

Okay by her.

The day was long enough already. The last thing she wanted was to start an argument with her teenage daughter.

But Carol joined her in the family room, sitting beside her on the sofa. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, honey. How was graduation practice?”

Carol shrugged, looking down. “Okay. Kind of sad.”

“Oh?” Maggie turned toward her. “What’s wrong?”

Carol scooted closer and laid her head on Maggie’s shoulders.

“I hung out with a bunch of my friends after practice. We went to Luigi’s, you know that pizza place?

It just hit me, Mom. Everyone is going to be going their separate ways soon.

I know I said I was over high school shit—I really meant the drama—but I realized today I might never see many of my friends again after we graduate. ”

Maggie thought back to her own classmates. “I hate to say this, sweetheart, but that’s probably true.” She put her arms around her girl and held her tighter. “I wish it weren’t, but….”

“It’s all gone by fast.”

“And it will only go faster. Enjoy every minute while you can.” They sat quietly for a minute. “I love you, you know.”

Carol snaked her arms around her waist. “I love you too, Mom.”

Maggie played with a lock of Carol’s hair, savoring every second of closeness. She’d already decided earlier, after rehashing her own college entry experience, that she would not interfere. “Honey, about college. It’s totally your decision. I will not—”

“Right.” Carol eased off her shoulder and faced her.

“Mom, I told Logan I’m going to ECU as planned.

It is my decision. Not his, although I respect how he feels.

I thought about it today when I was hanging out.

I even talked with Sophie, and then later, Hannah.

I know you wanted to discuss it, but really, we don’t have to. ”

She searched Carol’s eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“And what did Logan say?”

“He said he still loves me, no matter what. He wants me to go to college because he thinks I’m smart. He didn’t have the chance to go.”

“Oh?”

“You know, he’s really smart, too, Mom. He should have stayed in school, and he knows it.”

“Why didn’t he?”

Carol released a sigh. “His dad died last year. His family needs the money coming in.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

“He works hard, Mom. And I know I need to have him in for dinner. It’s just that he works so much and he’s a little shy. He’s sure you will not like him.”

Maggie reached for Carol’s hand. “Tell him he’s welcome here anytime. Maybe we need to start over.”