Page 30 of The Me I Left Behind (Tuckaway Bay #4)

Sixteen

Her phone alarm sounded softly, nudging Lilly awake. She silenced it with a quick tap, then yawned and stretched. Waking slowly was her preferred way to start the day.

She rolled closer into Max’s side and nestled her chin on his bare chest. It was early still, the sun just rising across the bay—sending threads of sunbeams peeking through the mango trees off the deck.

Everything was quiet, including the baby.

A good time, perhaps, to bring up something that had been on her mind for a while.

“Max, are you awake?” she whispered.

He sniffed and rubbed his nose. “Barely. What is it, love?”

“Just thinking…” She let a few more quiet minutes drift by.

This seemed as good a time as any, even though he was half asleep.

He’d been gone so much lately and was so preoccupied in the evenings.

“Your business is growing fast. Maybe it’s time to secure a lease on a downtown office?

I saw a few nice ones listed this week, and I could check them out for you. ”

“Hmm. I don’t know.” He yawned and ran a hand up her back.

“And if so,” she continued, “why not save some cash and let the downtown condo go? You could move in here. I have plenty of room. Most of your things are here, anyway. What do you think?”

She snuggled closer and planted a soft kiss on his collarbone. “Leo would love having you here all the time,” she added. “Me, too.”

He lay unresponsive for a moment, eyes closed. “Leo…” he began, “is only six months old. He doesn’t know yet what he loves and what he doesn’t.”

“Oh, I disagree.” She pushed up on one elbow. “Have you seen how his eyes light up when you come home?”

His lips curled up slightly at the corners. He had noticed.

“The condo lease was for two years. Not sure I can get out of it,” he said.

“I can help with that.” She skimmed her fingertips over his chest. “There are always ways.”

“Naw.” He rolled toward her abruptly and wrapped his arms around her. “I need the condo for client meetings, and…” His lips found hers and he nibbled. “You know there will be times you will want to get rid of me, so I’ll need a place to go to.”

She pulled back slightly, his tone and words setting off a minor alarm in her head. “What do you mean? I don’t want to get rid of you.”

Chuckling, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Easy, darling. All couples need time away from each other, you know. It makes things spicier when we get back together. We do fine with you having your space and me having mine.”

“But you travel so much, Max, and we have that time alone.” And all too often lately, I might add.

“ You have that time alone, sweetheart. I’m working then. I need a down time when I get back.”

Can’t down time happen with me? Though she supposed what he said was true. Not knowing exactly what “down time” meant to him was a problem.

At least for her.

She had to admit, she did like her privacy, her alone time, occasionally. But with Max gone so much the past few months, her alone time had recently felt…excessive.

“It’s just that you’re gone so much….”

He slid her a snarly look, his eyes piercing—like he was displeased with her but didn’t really want to say so. “And you knew that when we got together, love. I travel to make us money. It’s work. Little Leo also needs a college fund.”

That was also true. Max was a hard worker. And she’d be hard-pressed to call that a bad thing. “I just thought I’d mention it because you talked about leasing office space recently. I assumed you wouldn’t need the condo, then.”

“Not ready to let the condo go yet, Lil.” His words were stern. “Don’t assume.”

“Right-o.” She untangled herself from his arms and sat on the edge of the bed. To say she was slightly agitated, would be correct. “With all the new contracts you’ve signed recently, it just seemed like the timing was right. That’s all I’m saying. You talked about hiring staff, too.”

“Talked about it. Yes. But I need more contracts to feel comfortable making that change. I can work out of the condo for the time being.”

He rolled away from her, in the opposite direction, and stood. She watched him stroll across the room and look out over the bay, standing there fully naked and framed by the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“I understand that Max, but when it becomes inconvenient for you to—”

“Lil!” he barked, his head turning only slightly toward her. “Enough.”

Subject closed.

Conversation over.

She took a deep breath, in through her nose and out through her mouth. Counting to five, she rose and slipped into her bathrobe, then padded off toward the bathroom. She paused at the dresser, where Max had left his phone charging, when she saw the face light up.

No sound. Must be on ‘do not disturb.’

“You have a call.” She stopped and focused on the name. “Jason somebody. Early for business calls, eh?” She reached for the device, intending to unplug and hand it to him.

Max abruptly lunged toward her, his brows furrowed. Snatching the phone from her grasp, he pressed the answer button and put it to his ear, turning his back to her. “Jason?”

Lilly watched his shoulder muscles tense up and ripple, tighten and relax, as he spoke.

“Okay. Glad you called. Yes, it’s early here. Let’s talk later today.”

He paused again, still listening.

“I’ll call you. Text me a good time.”

He ended the call and pivoted back, staring at her, his expression contorted with anger—a bit unnerving for her liking. He took a swift step forward, grasped her chin with one hand, and squeezed.

“Ouch. Max!” Her first instinct was to jerk away.

He gripped tighter. His gaze seared into hers, his face inches away. “Don’t ever touch my fucking phone again. Got that?”

Lilly stood stone still. Frozen.

He’d never raised his voice like that.

Had never looked at her in that way.

“Got it?” He yanked her chin.

Had never touched her like this. “Yes, Max,” she said softly.

He released her and headed into the bathroom. She stood there for a couple of minutes, unmoving, gathering herself. Shaking. Listening to him putter about in there and then start the shower.

A rush of emotion swept over her as the sting of tears threatened.

I will not cry.

Leo fussed from the other room and, as if on demand, her milk let down, dampening her robe. “Shit. Not now.” She rushed off to the baby’s room, grabbing a couple of folded cloth nappies to stuff inside her robe, then lifted the cranky boy into her arms.

Within seconds, she burst into tears.

Max left for a meeting before she’d made his coffee.

Leo had occupied the minutes while he was showering and dressing, so she hadn’t had time to prepare the coffeemaker. He had a client meeting at nine—one Lilly didn’t know about.

One he’d not deemed important enough to share with her, obviously.

“I’ll get coffee downtown,” he barked.

“I’m sorry, Max. I’ll grind the beans tonight for tomorrow morning, and—”

“No.” He caught her eye while she was fussing with Leo. “I want my beans freshly ground. In the morning. I don’t know why you can’t get that right.”

“Leo needed—”

“Get your act together, Lilly.”

She didn’t finish her sentence. Max wandered off.

How dare he!

Appalled and frustrated, Lilly was honestly anxious at his tone.

Leo had needed changing first thing, before she could even get to the kitchen, and it was a messy job, at best. Then, once dry, he’d wailed to be fed and wasn’t at all pleased with the bottle she’d offered.

Frustrated, Lilly tried to soothe him best she could, coaxing him to take the formula, but she was certain her frustration was carrying over to the unhappy child.

Max was not pleased with any of that.

If she’d only been able to pump yesterday, like normal—or like she did when Max wasn’t home—she could have substituted breast milk for the formula, and Max wouldn’t have known. And her breasts wouldn’t have been so full and leaky….

If Max was going to be home more, she might have to wean Leo off the breast.

But that was the least of her concern, at the moment.

The morning coffee routine was difficult for Lilly to latch onto, even after all these months.

She enjoyed a cup of tea in the mornings—and had no understanding of this obsession with the bitter brew.

Max never recognized her lack of interest in his coffee habit.

Tea was easy to brew quickly. Making his coffee was a laborious process when one hadn’t even a marginal interest in the outcome.

But she’d attempted to accommodate. She’d purchased the specific coffee grinder and coffeemaker he’d said he wanted, and his favorite coffee beans, and had gifted them to him for Christmas.

He’d not once used them himself. He expected her to make the coffee for him.

That hadn’t been her plan. But when he’d handed the items back to her, and said, “How sweet of you, Lilly, to gift me with fresh coffee every morning. I can’t wait until you make the first pot,” she knew she was mistaken.

She’d considered correcting his thinking—but then he’d flashed that sexy grin of his and tackled her to the floor by the Christmas tree and made love to her until she was silly with pleasure.

The next morning, she mastered the coffee grinder.

Mistake. Huge mistake.

Put it out of your mind, Lilly. Time to get ready for work.

Poppy arrived a couple of hours later, and Lilly still had not showered or dressed yet when she answered the door.

“Goodness, girl. You look a mess.”

“It’s been a bloody hell of a morning, Poppy.” She bounced a cranky Leo on her hip. She’d been agitated with Max, of course, and everything else, and had apparently passed that on to Leo.

Poppy set her bag and sunhat on a side table by the door and reached for the child. “Give me the boy. You go take a minute, and then we’ll talk.”

Lilly exhaled and handed Leo over. “You’re sure?”

Poppy shooed her off. “Get on with it. Take a long shower. This bub and I will be fine.”

“Bless you,” Lilly whispered.