Page 3 of The Me I Left Behind (Tuckaway Bay #4)

“Sweetheart, let’s not go there, yet.” She paused, waiting to see if Carol said anything more. She didn’t.

They sat for a few minutes, gazing up into the night. The rhythm of the waves provided a steady beat behind the silence, ticking off time.

Finally, Maggie said, “Julia will look into some legal things for me, here and in Australia.” She wondered if Carol just wanted something to hang her hat on. “I don’t know what is going to happen, honey, but there are obviously some things to figure out.”

“I didn’t think about that.”

“I’m not sure I can stay married to him.”

Carol twisted in the seat and sat up slightly, searching Maggie’s face. “You mean divorce?”

Shit. Maybe too soon.

She shrugged. “Sweetheart, I don’t know. Right now, I never want to see him again.”

Carol blinked several times, then slowly nodded. “I get that. I don’t either. What I don’t get is how it all works afterward.”

“After a divorce?”

“Yeah. With all of us.” She stared. “I mean, you don’t work. How will the bills get paid? Will Dad have to pay something? Child support? Will we have to move out of our house? What about school? I know it’s expensive.” She paused, glancing off, then back again. “College?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Panic gripped Maggie’s heart. Obviously, this was worrying her. “That’s a lot to digest. I don’t know the answers to any of it, but I will say this—let us figure that out. Your dad and me. That’s not for you to worry about.”

“But I do worry. I have been. I don’t know what is going to happen in the future.”

“Do we ever, honey?”

Carol stared, and the look behind her eyes told Maggie she was frightened. “No. And that’s scary.”

“I know.” Maggie squeezed her tighter. This uncertainty was going to be a problem. “I just don’t have answers now, sweetheart. Negotiating with your dad might be difficult. But Julia—”

“She’s a good lawyer, isn’t she?”

“She is.”

“She’ll screw Dad over. Won’t she?”

Hell, where was Carol’s head? With a forefinger, she pushed back a strand of hair covering one of her eyes. “Honey, Julia will follow the law and do what’s best—”

Carol grasped her hand. “No, Mom. Julia needs to screw him over. Look at all he’s done! He’s totally messed up all our lives. He’s a fucking asshole!”

They locked gazes for a moment, then burst into laughter.

They hugged and giggled, and sank back down into the beach chair, wrapping themselves up again with the blanket. After a moment, they settled back into silence.

“Even though he’s not here, it still feels like it. You know?” Carol murmured.

Maggie moved in her seat a little to look at her daughter. “He’s thousands of miles away. He can’t hurt us.”

“Really?” Carol’s eyes flared wider. “Mom, he hurts us all the time.”

Her words stabbed Maggie’s heart. “Carol, you and your dad were really close. It’s bound to be confusing and hurtful.”

“But he still hurt us. I love him. He’s my dad. But he does things.”

Anxiety bit into Maggie’s chest. “What do you mean?”

Carol sat up straighter. “I mean, he’s never hit me or Chloe. He did hit Jason once, that I know of, when you weren’t home. I don’t know if Jason ever told you. He smarted back about something, and Dad punched him in the mouth.”

Maggie gasped. “Oh, no.”

“Busted his lip.”

Her mind raced. “When?”

“Last summer. Jason told you he got hit in the mouth with a baseball at practice.”

She remembered that day. He’d not let her look at his mouth and waved her off. She’d thought it was one of those boy things, like no hugging in public. She’d had no clue Max had hit him.

“Oh, poor Jason,” she whispered, looking away. Settling back into her seat, she watched the stars again. “But he’s never hit you or Chloe?”

“No, he just yells at us when you’re not there. Mostly, he yells at Chloe.”

No wonder Jason was so protective of his little sister. Again, her brain stumbled over scenarios when she’d not been home, but Max was. “I tried not to leave you alone with him very often.”

Carol nodded. “I know. But there were times he’d send you out for stuff.”

That was true.

“And he’d get mad so easy about crap. Like, when Chloe spilled her juice.”

“Did she?”

“Once.”

“And?”

“He started yelling and threw a towel at her and made her clean it up. He scared her so much she cried, and she spilled it again, and then he stood over her yelling. He said it was your fault that you hadn’t taught us not to spill or how to clean up, and all that. I tried to help.”

“What did he do?”

“Pushed me away and called me a stupid-ass cunt.”

“That fucking bastard.” Her gaze never faltered from Carol’s, and she saw the hurt in her eyes. Her heart ached for her. “I’m so sorry, honey. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“The same reason Jason didn’t. We were too scared to tell you.”

“Oh, sweetie….”

“If we told you, then you’d say something to him, and then it would get worse. He’d come after you and then probably us again. So, we learned not to tell you.”

Anxiety seized Maggie’s heart. “This kind of thing has happened more than once?”

Carol looked away and ducked back down under the blanket. “Mom, let’s not talk about it anymore. Not right now. Can we forget about it for the rest of the night? Please?”

Her child was shutting down. Her brave, bold young woman of almost eighteen years was suddenly reduced to an uncertain little girl. Just like Chloe.

They’d hashed this around too much tonight.

Shit. They were all going to need therapy. Weren’t they?

“Mommy, can I see baby Grace today?”

Maggie met Chloe’s gaze in the bathroom mirror as she brushed her hair. The child was obsessed with Belle’s baby and asked to see her several times a day. “I will check to see if there is a good time. Okay? Remember, newborn babies sleep a lot and don’t need a lot of new germs around them.”

Chloe smiled. “But she is so cute!”

Maggie met her smile back. “She is, isn’t she?” She kept brushing, pulling Chloe’s hair up into a ponytail.

Her daughter nodded sharply.

Maggie had tried to keep things as normal as possible the past couple of days for all three of her kids. The littles deserved a fun break from school, especially after the scary storm. And Carol deserved some downtime from all the drama.

Honestly, she welcomed the change of pace from the hustle of daily life back in Rocky Mount. That hustle—school, sports, dance, cheer, and other activities—plus keeping the house up, groceries, managing Max’s life, and all that.

With Max gone, though, she could relax a bit, perhaps.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Certain things were rooted into her routine after nearly twenty years, and managing Max, the kids, and the house was her full-time job. There was safety in that. Security, too. She’d grown into predictable routines.

Carol poked her head inside the bathroom door. “Hey, Mom. Julia and Sam are taking Hannah to the airport and asked me if I would like to ride with them. That okay with you?”

Turning, she smiled. “Sure. If you haven’t packed yet, do that when you get back. Remember, we’re leaving early tomorrow, and we are having dinner tonight at The Sandcastle with everyone.”

“Yep. Sam said we’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Enjoy the time with Hannah. I’m glad you two are getting to know each other.”

Carol shrugged. “She’s cool.”

Even though Hannah was a few years older than Carol, they seemed to have some things to talk about the past couple of days.

Maggie had noticed them walking on the beach together, chatting away one afternoon.

And last evening, they’d hung out on the deck around the firepit drinking hot chocolate.

Maggie wondered if Carol had told Hannah about her father.

Maybe it was good she had someone else to talk to, rather than herself.

“So, I’m off, Mom.”

Maggie smiled and glanced at her again in the mirror. “I’ll see you back here later. I think dinner is at six.”

Carol gave her a quick salute and grin, then was off.

“Ouch, Mommy!” Chloe grabbed her ponytail.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize I was pulling.”

Whirling away from her, Chloe said, “Let’s go see baby Grace now!” She ran off into the other room before Maggie told her they still had to call Belle.

She waited a minute, holding the hairbrush, and stared into the mirror.

Honestly, they’d been sharing a two-bedroom suite for too long, and she was actually looking forward to getting home. Because once they got there, she had a lot of thinking to do—and some research, which reminded her she had some questions for Julia, later.

It was time she figured out what the hell was going on with her husband and this woman and her baby in Australia.

“Mommy!” Chloe ran back into the bathroom. “Baby Grace!”

“Alright, sweetheart.” She set the hairbrush aside. “I’ll call.”

A few hours later, after a brief visit with Belle and Grace, they gathered at The Sandcastle for dinner with the others. The afternoon had gone by much too quickly.

Zach pointed to a long table. “Let’s all sit over there. Order what you want,” he said. “It’s on the house.”

“Oh, no.” Sam pulled out a chair for Julia. “We’ll gladly pay our share.”

“Zach, are you sure? My kids can eat a lot.” Maggie ushered her kids toward the table.

He smiled. “I’m positive. Let them eat!”

Lia moved in, too, and sat beside Julia. “There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that Zach Allen is going to let any of you pay for dinner tonight,” she said.

“Well, that is just too kind.” Julia smiled at Lia.

“Are you sure?” Alice hustled closer and sat across from Lia. “Hi. It’s just me. Ella and George opted to stay home.”

“Are they okay?” Maggie had to wonder what kind of after-Christmas discussions had happened in the McBain household, since Alice officially—but not willingly—came out.

“They are both…prickly. Yes, that’s a good word for it.”

She stifled a laugh. Alice had rarely dealt with a prickly Ella or George before now, Maggie was certain. “I suppose prickly is understandable given the circumstances?”

Alice shrugged. “Probably.” She looked at Carol, then glanced off.