Page 38 of The Lovely and the Lost
“Waiting up to see if I made it home by curfew?” Cady asked me.
I shrugged. “Something like that.”
She squatted down opposite me and nodded toward the mug of hot chocolate. “I’m guessing the confetti wasn’t your idea.”
I snorted and shifted my weight, lowering my knees. She held out a hand, and when I took it, she stood and pulled me to my feet. The motion was utterly familiar.
It wasn’t as comforting as usual.
It’s not the things you can’t find that haunt you. It’s when you choose not to look.I hadn’t chosen to step back from this search.
Cady bent to pick up the hot chocolate Jude had left me. “It’s cold,” she commented.
“It’s late,” I shot back. “Bella?”
I’d stopped looking because Cady hadmademe stop looking. The least she could do was give me an update.
“We’ll regroup once the storm passes.” Cady paused, but she seemed to sense that stopping there wasn’t an option. “We traced Bella’s scent out of the cave system and into the valley before we lost the trail again. Whoever took her knows the mountain better than I do.”
The implication of that was clear. “The person who took Bella is local,” I said.
Mac saved Cady from having to reply. “The rangers are coordinating with the FBI and talking to the family to figure out who might have had access and motive.”
Bella’s kidnapper knows the mountain. The storm is washing away trace evidence as we speak.
“Saskia and I could go back out tomorrow.” I took a step toward Cady. “We’re fresh, and you need the numbers. When the storm passes—”
“When the storm passes, I’ll be rested.” Cady didn’t let me finish. “So will Mac. So will our K9s. I know you want to help, Kira, but the answer is no.”
It’s not the things you can’t find that haunt you.I didn’t want to feel like I’d been backed into a corner, but what Cady was asking of me wasn’t fair. Leaving me here, tying my hands, treating me like achild—
“It was my life and my choice,” I said softly. “That’s what you told Bales.” I should have stopped there. “You told him that Ash was worth it to you.Thisis my life, and my choice, Cady, and Bella—”
“Kira,” Mac cut in. “You do not want to go there.”
Cady whirled on him.“Don’t tell my daughter what to do.”
I heard the pain in her voice—worse than a yelp or a whine or a mewl. I knew that Mac wasn’t the one who’d hurt her. He wasn’t the one who’d lashed out.
“Cady,” I started to say, my mouth dry.
“Upstairs.” Cady stared at and into me. “We’ll finish this discussion upstairs.”
* * *
I waited for Cady in her room. When she came in, she was still holding the mug of hot chocolate. After a moment, she sat down on the end of the bed and held the mug out to me. “I heated it up.”
She wasn’t angry. I wasn’t sure why I’d expected her to be. Even when I was young, even when I’d lashed out physically, even when I’d drawn blood—all she’d ever done wasbe there.
I’d hurt her. She wouldn’t hurt me.
“Cady, I shouldn’t have—”
“You hate inaction.” Cady reached out and ran her free hand over my hair, no muss, no fuss, no frills in her tone. “You look at Bella, and you see yourself. You want to help. Taking a step back is killing you. I get that, Kira. But the answer is still no.”
She held out the hot chocolate again, and I took it. I wasn’t in the mood for something sweet, but I needed the warmth. I needed to take what she was giving me.
“I shouldn’t have brought up…” I stared down into the dark liquid, unable to say the nameAsh. “I’m supposed to be on your side. I’m supposed toprotectyou.”