Page 134 of The Living and the Dead

She sounded subdued, disappointed. A click.

“No,” Killian said, an icy veil draped over his voice. “Leave it out.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Sander left the phone on the table, and Killian pulled it his way. He placed the knife on the table, right next to Sander’s phone.

“I’m not going to go to the police, Killian. I just needed something to tell her.”

“You think I believe you’d tell me the truth, over your wife?”

There was a sharp note to Killian’s tone.

“I just fucking lied to her for your sake!” Sander exclaimed, his voice harsh and loud. “Did I tell the truth? Did I say your name? Huh?”

“Sorry,” Killian said, his inner eighteen-year-old emerging again. “No, you’re right.” He reached out and touched Felicia’s hip. It was a tender, passionate gesture. “Could you walk around the house and see if there’s anyone out there?”

It looked like she wanted to protest, but she didn’t speak up. Just nodded slowly and went to the front hall, found an umbrella.

They were alone. His throat still aching, Sander stared at his friend as though gazing into a great cloud of fog.

“You choked me.”

“I had to.”

“You had to?” Sander was shocked at his words. “Why?”

“I…” Killian trailed off.

“And now you’re about to take off again.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Killian, it was self-defense. Hey—you don’t have to run away this time.”

Killian took a step toward Sander. “You think I’m going to let them pin me to two murders? That’s what would happen. You know it would.”

Everything around Sander had begun to quiver, as if reality were splitting at the seams.

Killian looked at Sander’s wrist.

“I thought you threw that away.”

“I did.”

“Then you must have come back to get it. After I took off. Right?”

Sander didn’t know what to say. All of a sudden Killian seemed insane again. He was impossible to follow, like an unpredictable pendulum.

Beyond the doorway, the hall. Sander could simply go, open the front door and head to his car, drive down to Kivik, out of this dream and back into real life, to Olivia and the children, all that was his. He didn’t have to wait, to stay. There was no need to worry.

Even so, he knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Killian stood in his way. He couldn’t have imagined this until now, now that it was so very evident.