Page 109 of The Living and the Dead

He looked guilty, slumped in the chair like that, but guilty of what, Vidar didn’t know. He put down his pen and set his notepad aside, a tried-and-true maneuver.

“What is it, Jakob? Something is weighing on you, I can tell.”

“Well, it’s just…you know, I…I only had one errand to do and that was checking the oil in my car, at a garage in Oskarström. And I could just as easily have done that on my own at home. I guess I just wanted some time to myself after the funeral. I needed it. You know, actual time alone. Away from my wife and kids, shopping lists and laundry and…”

“From life,” Vidar said.

Jakob laughed in shame, like he was admitting a shortcoming. “Basically.”

“I’m sorry,” Vidar said, picking up his pen again. “But did you mention this when you spoke to us yesterday?”

“No, Alice was with me. I couldn’t say it in front of her, and I didn’t think it was even that important. I was gone during the time I said I was gone.”

“And when was that?”

“Oh, between three thirty and seven, maybe? Something like that.”

“Did you see anyone during that time? Or did you speak with anyone, on the phone, for instance?”

“No—I wanted to be alone.”

Vidar gazed at him for a long time.

“So what were you doing between three thirty and seven?”

“Like I said, I went and got the oil checked in my car, that was the first thing—there’s a garage behind the Preem station in Oskarström. Then I went to the cemetery. I do that sometimes when I need to think. I sat in my car in the parking lot, is all, and…you know, just thought about stuff. I thought about how another one of us would be lying there soon. Sten, I mean,” Jakob added. “After that, I went back to Skavböke. I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go. That must have been around six, and I stopped at a place where we used to grill out in the summer.”

“And by ‘we,’ you mean…”

“Me and my friends. Sander, Killian, Alice, Felicia, everyone from back then.”

“Right. And Mikael.”

“And Mikael. Yes, of course.”

“How long did you stay there?”

“Oh, until I went home again. An hour, maybe. We still had to get groceries.”

“And what did you do? While you were there, I mean.”

“Like I said. I just sat in the car, thinking. I smoked—I keep a packof cigarettes in the glove box. It all came back, all of it. I think because it wasn’t just that it was Sten’s funeral, it was, like, that everyone was there. Everyone that’s left.”

“Did you get out of the car at all? Take a walk?”

“No, I just sat there. That’s what I usually do.”

“And you didn’t call anybody either?”

Jakob looked like he’d been caught red-handed. “I actually didn’t have my phone with me.”

“How come? I mean, it’s pretty common to take your phone when you go out.”

Jakob ran a hand through his hair. Vidar could tell that it was trembling. When Jakob replied, he sounded almost frightened.

“I just didn’t want anyone to bother me. Like I said, I wanted to be by myself.”

“Do you leave your phone at home often?”