Page 140 of The List

The storm masked the sun and most of the daylight, making it appear much later. He crawled forward on his belly and took up a position among the scratchy brush, a clear view of the house ahead.

Rain hammered down.

He readied the binoculars.

BRENT SAT ON THE COUCH.

The rain fell harder, its soothing monotone relaxing. But his nerves remained frayed and on edge. Hank reclined in one of the chairs.

“How long have you known about Lori Anne?” he asked Hank.

“Several years.”

He appreciated the honesty. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to. But Ashley wouldn’t allow it. Believe me, we had arguments on the point. But I had to respect her wishes. It’s her life. I finally broke down and told your mother.”

“When?”

“Just after you got back.”

He shook his head. “She didn’t say a word. The both of you played that one close.”

“Ashley’s had a tough time, Brent. Her marriages never really had a chance. She didn’t love any of ’em like she did you. She was good to ’em. But if the truth be known, all three husbands knew somebody else stood in the way. You, of course, were barrelin’ down the guilt road. Telling you about a daughter would have not helped a thing. And you know that.”

“I still have regrets, Hank.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“I did Paula wrong. I never should have married her.”

“That’s all in how you look at it. I’d say Paula didn’t have to force the marriage, knowing you wanted out.”

“She was pregnant.”

“Was she? All we had was her word. For all you know, she could have got that way just after the wedding. Paula had her own agenda that she worked by her own set of rules.”

“I can’t get Paula’s face from that day out of my mind. Backing out the driveway while I’m telling herI don’t love you, and I don’t know if I ever did. She cried, Hank. The first time I could ever remember her crying over anything. I didn’t think stone could cry. But that day it did. It’s the last image of her alive I have. The next was when I identified her body.”

“Take it from a real loser, Brent. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Me. I ruined a thirty-year marriage cattin’ around. I have a reason to feel guilty. I asked for what I got. But there’s not a damn thing I can do about any of it now. I miss Loretta every day. I hope she’s happy. But I can’t dwell on mistakes. It’ll kill you eventually. Nobody can take that kind of pressure. Let it go.”

“Loretta was a good woman. I never could understand why you did that crap.”

“Me either. For God’s sake don’t make the same mistake I did and do more stupid things.”

He smiled. Hank was trying to do what he could to make him feel better and he appreciated the effort.

“Besides, looks like I’m goin’ to get a new son-in-law.”

“That all depends. We still have a little problem.”

“That’s an understatement.”

He had to say, “You realize the company used you all these years.”

“I do, and the thought makes me sick. I wanted to be the big man. The one everybody looked to when they got in a jam.Go see Hank, he’ll get you out of trouble.Right. They built a whole town to suit their needs. You couldn’t have taken a crap here withoutthem knowing how many sheets of toilet paper you used. Concord is a company town gone insane.”

“They made hundreds of millions of dollars from murder. Who said crime doesn’t pay?”