Page 46 of The Liar I Married

FORTY-TWO

As I climb into John’s Lexus, I notice one of the girls has left their pink sweater on the back seat.

I grab it and press it to my nose. I’m sure a mom can find their child by scent.

It might only be the smell from the laundry or the shampoo they use for their hair, but it triggers a response, a knowledge of belonging.

Overwhelmed by the yearning to see my girls, I burst into tears.

Nothing matters right now than seeing they’re safe and well.

The next moment John has his arms around me, my face pressing into his shoulder, and the scent unique to my husband fills my nostrils.

It calms me and I gather myself, grasping the sweater like a life preserver.

“I’m okay. I just miss my girls so much. ”

“We all miss you too.” John started the engine and slid on his sunglasses.

“It hasn’t been easy for them being away from us for almost a year.

Your mom is a wonderful person but she’s not you and I could only get to see them a few times.

They’re so excited to be home and can’t stop talking about you.

They love the FaceTime chats.” He squeezes my fingers.

“It won’t be long. I have my lawyer working on your case and I believe you’ll be home soon. ”

I pull a tissue from a packet in the glovebox and dab at my eyes. “Not Ms. Lawson?”

“No, I engaged one that deals in family law. Her name is Julia Thompson and she’ll represent you. I’m told she’s very good.” John flicks me a glance. “We’ll go and see her on Monday.”

I’m not sure I’m hearing him right. John never takes personal days. “You’re taking me? What about your clients?”

“I rearranged my schedule.” His hands grip the wheel as he stares straight ahead.

“Now I’m a partner, I’ll have more time to spare.

I’ve spoken to the boss, and he agrees I need to spend some time with you.

In fact, he suggested it. I’ve signed up some very important clients for the firm, which makes me valuable.

I’ll be home every weekend and I won’t be working such long hours.

I have many people working in my office who are more than happy for the opportunity to take on some of my clients. ”

Imagining my future unfolding, I lean back in my seat. “That would be wonderful.”

As we fly along the coast highway, I open the window to absorb the view.

The sight feeds my soul, as waves break on the beach, rush in and withdraw.

They appear to shimmer as sunlight turns them into a mercuric firmament that leaves a line of foamy bubbles along the stretch of sand.

I look into the distance, seeing sailboats, and sigh at the endless blue sky.

I’m like a starving person at a smorgasbord.

All the little things are magnified: seagulls strutting along the wet sand, fighting over a morsel of fish, and children running with joy as they splash through the waves.

I want to join them with my girls and leave footprints in the sand.

I can almost feel the salty brine on my face as waves crash around me.

I lean my head out of the window, loving the wind in my hair.

The roar of the ocean fills my head with a symphony of sounds.

It’s a peace I crave for and now it’s within reach.

Only a few more days and I’ll be going home.

John and Alex are talking. It seems that John has accepted the fact that Alex is a friend and they are plotting how to get to Dolly’s computer. I straighten in my seat, listening. “I don’t believe you should allow Dolly to see both of you.”

“How so?” John turns to look at me as we wait at the lights.

I stare back at him as the plan opens in my mind.

“If Alex takes me back, he can keep Dolly busy and then pretend to leave by the conservatory.” I turn to look at Alex in the back seat.

“I’ll keep her busy, when you leave. You’ll need to set up your phone on record.

If she tries to stick me with a needle, I want it on video. ”

“I’ll go in through the front door and straight into her office.

” John drums his fingers on the steering wheel.

“I’ll download her patient records onto a thumb drive and look at her emails.

I want to know who she’s been calling for advice.

” He accelerates as the lights changed to green.

“I should never have trusted her. I honestly believed you had the same doctor all the way through. How many times has a doctor visited you?”

I shake my head. “I don’t recall seeing a doctor at any time.”

“That’s not good.” Alex whistles. “It never amazes me what lengths people will go to for money.”

The entrance to Stonebridge Manor comes into view.

Ornate wrought-iron gates set between red-brick posts with lion’s head statues greet us in an impenetrable barrier.

We slow to allow the control on the dash of John’s Lexus to trigger the opening mechanism as he drives toward them.

They slowly swing open and he heads up the wide gravel driveway but doesn’t go to the house.

He takes the side road that leads to the rose garden and pulls up outside the gardener’s shed.

From here it’s a short walk to the conservatory door.

“Ready?” John looks from me to Alex. “Give me time to scoot around the front. I have my key. I’ll sneak in and head toward Dolly’s office. I’ll need as much time as you can get me.”

I look at John. “Do you know if it’s illegal to steal things from somebody’s computer?”

“Legally the computer belongs to me, and I have a password.” John shrugs. “So I doubt it.” He slips from behind the wheel, shutting the door softly behind him, and jogs around the outside of the house.

Reluctantly, I leave the pink sweater on the seat as I climb out. I take Alex’s arm and we head slowly toward the door to the conservatory. I look at him. “What are you going to say to her? What excuse are you making for bringing me back?”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Alex taps his temple. “I have a ton of stories in here. I’ll make up something on the fly.” As we reach the door, he cups his hands and looks through the window. “All clear.”

I hold my breath as he slowly turns the doorknob.

Trying not to make a sound, I follow him inside and we sneak through the pots of flowers.

We pause at the door, standing on each side like cops in the movies, and peer into the room overlooking the rose garden.

The scent of roses drifts through the open windows but the hospital bed is made, crisp and clean.

The drip stand is placed close to the bed.

My stomach drops. Nothing has changed. Everything is still the same as if waiting for my return…

my slow death. Panic grips me. I can’t do this.

I dig my feet in, unable to move. I see Alex staring at me and I shake my head.

Terror at Dolly administering the zombie drug again makes it hard to breathe.

I pull back and sag against the wall, trying to force air into my lungs.

Just being here is suffocating. I’m trusting Alex with my life.

Have I just made a huge mistake? Just how well do I know him?

What if he’s part of the plan to get rid of me?

“Are you okay?” Alex turns to look at me, concern etched on his face. “I’ll be close by. I won’t allow her to do anything to you.”

How can I explain? He hasn’t been trapped here and under her control. She’s a monster and I’m still weak and vulnerable. She’ll kill me for sure the first chance she gets. I grip his arm. “I can’t do this. I’m terrified. She’ll know something is wrong.”

“Take deep breaths.” Alex’s voice is so low I can hardly hear it over the thumping in my ears. “Nothing will happen. I’ll hide in here and watch her. It’s the only way we’ll be able to discover the truth. We need to stop her and Michael from ever trying this again.”

Trembling, I consider his words and nod slowly. He’s right, of course. I need my revenge and this is the only way of getting it. “Please don’t leave me alone with her. She can’t be trusted. I’m in fear of my life.”

“I’ll be right here in the shadows.” He takes out his phone and wedges it between two figurines on a shelf and hits record. “It will record everything around the bed.”

His assurances don’t help. He hasn’t experienced the feeling of being trapped inside his body like I have.

I bite down on the inside of my mouth. I must do this for the girls.

My legs tremble and my heart is racing so fast I’m sure it will burst through my ribcage.

To think this house, once overflowing with love and memories of my family, has now changed into a torture chamber.

My torture chamber . A mind-twisting place that altered my reality into a lie.

I swallow the bile creeping into my mouth; the acid burns my throat and the bottled water beside the bed suddenly looks inviting.

It’s as if the bed is luring me as if I’m craving the drugs.

I stop, my steps faltering. Dolly is inside my head, dragging me down a dark black hole.

My mouth is dry and now my legs refuse to move.

I don’t want to go back. I can’t do this—I won’t.

Blind panic grips me and I turn away. A cold sweat creeps over me and my T-shirt clings to my back.

I can smell my own fear. I shake my head.

“I can’t do it. Something bad will happen. I can feel it.”

“It won’t.” Alex turns me to face him. “I’ll be here, six feet away, and John is just along the passageway. We won’t leave you alone with her. You’re the only person to bring her to justice. Be strong, Jessie, if not for you, do it for your kids.”

The girls’ faces fix in my mind. I take deep breaths, centering myself. I must do this. We need proof or I’ll never see my kids again. I nod. “Okay, I’m ready. What do you want me to do?”

“I’ll carry you into the room. Act sick or something. Like you’re drugged maybe will be best. Yeah, I can work with that idea. Ready?” Alex swings me into his arms and shoulders his way into the room. “Help! I need help here. Somebody!”