Page 42 of The Liar I Married

THIRTY-EIGHT

“I know the first few years of our marriage were rough.” John pushes a hand through his immaculate hair. “What happened at the party that night was a terrible mistake. I was an idiot and I should have known better but I’ve never been unfaithful to you, Jessie, never.”

I roll my eyes, looking up to the ceiling for divine intervention and then I level my gaze on him. “That’s not the entire truth, is it? Is Renee your child or not? How about we have the truth this time?”

“Yes, she’s my child but it’s not what you think. Daphne was desperate to have a baby and Brad was infertile. She asked me to be their donor and I agreed. I didn’t know Brad would flip out and leave her.”

I stare at him, astonished. “So you ran around to her house for breakfast with sex on the side?”

“No! I didn’t have sex with Daphne. I was a sperm donor. We had an agreement. I made Daphne sign a legal document, to say that she would never pursue me for maintenance and my name wouldn’t appear on the birth certificate. However, she did give me the honor of naming our daughter.”

Dumbfounded, I look at him. I can’t grasp what he’s saying. All this time, all these years he’s kept a secret. My girls have a sister they’ll never know. I can’t believe my ears. “A sperm donor? I guess you expect me to believe that? Did you go to a fertility clinic with her? Do you have proof?”

“You know darn well she was attending a fertility clinic and yes, you can come with me to speak to the doctor if you don’t believe me.” John wipes a hand down his face. “I knew you’d never understand, that’s why we didn’t tell you.”

Suddenly it was “we” and I push down the need to get up and walk away from him.

I swallow hard trying to control the anger ready to explode.

“So it’s ‘we’ is it? You conspired with my once-best friend to have a baby.

No wonder Brad left her. I guess seeing you turning up for breakfast every morning would ruin most people’s marriages.

” I draw in a breath. “Why you? Fertility clinics usually have a variety of sperm donors she could have used.”

“She didn’t want a stranger’s baby and we were close friends. In truth, I felt sorry for her.” He shrugs and opens his arms wide. “So I made a mistake. I can’t change it now.”

I shake my head. “Sorry for her? That’s not an excuse for not discussing it with me first.”

“Would you have agreed?” John clears his throat. “I’m guessing the answer is no.”

I shake my head. “Then you’d be right. You’re my husband and the father of my children. If I’d wanted to share, I’d have joined a wife-swapping club or whatever they call them. I’m appalled you’d even consider doing something like that behind my back. What else aren’t you telling me?”

“I supported her after her marriage breakup and until a year after Renee was born. I was the father, after all, and wanted to make sure my child wants for nothing. I set up a trust fund so she can go to college.” He stares at the space between his hands at the swirls on the carpet.

“I figured that was the right thing to do.”

I shut my open mouth with a snap. “A trust fund? Do the twins have one too?”

“Of course they do and it’s five times bigger than Renee’s.” John frowns. “Hers is more than enough though to put her through college and then some.”

This is a nightmare, it’s like he has a whole separate life. Just like my dad. Seems to me Grandma smelled a rat about both of them. “Do you keep in touch with her?”

“Yeah, she sends me photographs and videos of Renee. I keep them in the office.” John shrugs. “I realize now, I should have told you but I’m not sorry. She’s a beautiful child.”

I shake my head slowly. “It seems to me you have no faith in me whatsoever, if you couldn’t trust me with something like that.

All these years not knowing and believing you’d been unfaithful was much worse.

It’s caused a big rift between us. I’ve never trusted you since the night Renee was born and you left me alone to be at Daphne’s side.

Each time I think of it, it breaks my heart.

I’m just glad I didn’t have to go to my grave believing you were unfaithful.

Although, going behind my back to keep in touch with her is another form of betrayal. ”

“You’re so jealous, I was afraid to tell you the truth in case you left me.

Now I can see how it’s affected you, I realize I should have come clean years ago.

Honestly, Daphne was our close friend, I wanted to help her is all.

Maybe I should have discussed it with you.

At the time it was just a good deed. I guess, I didn’t think it through.

I believed you’d be happy for her.” He drops his head into his hands and stares at the carpet again.

“Is there anything I can do to mend this between us?”

I can’t believe my ears; he can’t expect me to believe this crap.

I wet my lips, my throat is parched and I reach for a glass of water on the coffee table.

“So because I love you and I’m jealous of other women pawing you, that’s your excuse for deceiving me?

I asked you so many times about Renee and you lied to me.

How can I possibly trust anything you say? ”

“I don’t know.” He grips my hands. “Can we start over? If not for me for the sake of the girls?”

I refuse to be a doormat or a faithful dog any longer. “I can’t forgive you for deceiving me yet, John. Hurt like that takes time to heal and I can’t take any more lies. If you promise to be faithful and come clean about Rebecca Lawson I might think about it.”

“How many times must I tell you? There’s nothing between me and Rebecca.” He lifts his gaze to me. “There never has been and there never will be. She’s the company lawyer is all.”

I frown at him. “Oh, come on, John, there are images of you with her all over her social media page. Pictures of you with her at swank dinner parties, and all the time I was sitting at home. How do you think that made me feel when I found them?”

“The dinner parties, as you call them, were corporate meetings in the board room with important overseas clients.” John rubs the back of his neck.

“It was all business talk and not a place for wives. Everyone there was employees of the company in important roles.” He drops my hands and leans back in the chair. “Not that you’ll ever believe me.”

I snort. “Well, it’s difficult when you bring her home to live in our guesthouse and from what Michael tells me she’s still there. Well, she’s inside the house now. Explain that?”

“She’s never stayed inside the house, Jessie.

” John gives me an astonished stare. “I can’t believe Michael told you that.

It’s all lies. She stayed over the night of the accident and then went to a hotel.

FYI, she’s getting married to her longtime boyfriend and they’re moving to Hawaii.

” He sighs. “I’m interviewing her replacement now.

The best candidate for the job this time is someone called Jason Standish.

Somehow, I don’t believe you’ll have a problem with me having lunch with him. ”

Knowing Ms. Lawson would be out of our lives makes me feel more positive about things but he did still switch off my life support. I look at him. “Do you love me?”

“You know I do.” John’s eyes soften. “That will never change.”

I think it through. What do I need to make it right?

“I’m not going back to Grandma’s house. Not until I’m strong.

I’m not going home—not yet anyway. I want time to figure out how I feel about everything.

I want to see my girls and talk to my mom and dad.

In the meantime, Alex has told me I can stay here. ”

“No, I don’t want you staying here.” John shakes his head. “You hardly know him and you’re moving in with him. It’s not a good look, Jessie.”

I puff out a sigh. “Neither is having a secret family on the side, John. How long before you decide to leave me and go and live with Daphne?”

“I would have done it by now, wouldn’t I?” John rolls his eyes. “She is just a friend. I’ve never found her attractive in that way.”

I nod. “That’s the same with me and Alex.”

“Okay, okay, I get your point.” He shakes his head. “I’ll go home and ask your mom to drop by to see you before the girls finish school. She’s been caring for them at home since you regained consciousness. Are you sure you don’t want me to take you there now? She’ll be so happy to see you.”

As tempting as it is, I have too many things to consider. I need to think this through. The cops will arrest Michael and I need to tell my mom everything that happened. She’ll tell me what to do. I shake my head. “Not today. I need time to think, John. Is my dad there too?”

“Nope, he’s in Florida.” John pulls a phone from his pocket and hands it to me.

“This is for you. I had intended on giving it to you when I went to see you. I’ve added all your contacts so you can speak to him.

” He checks his watch. “If you’re not coming home with me, I’ll need to go to work.

I’ll move my appointments around so I can come back and see you later.

” He stands and bends to kiss me. “If you want to see me?”

I look into his deep blue eyes. I so want to trust him again. “That would be nice, thank you.”

I watch as he leaves, closing the door behind him and then turn as Alex walks back into the room.

“How did it go?” Alex drops into the chair opposite. “I did catch bits of conversation but I tried not to listen.”

I sigh. “I figure it’s a work in progress. At least the girls are real and I’ll get to see them soon.”

“I never had any doubt.” He grins, showing an expanse of white teeth. “I have a feeling everything will turn out just fine.”