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Chapter Eleven – Colin

“I should kill ye,” the lass growled.

She was annoyingly lovely when angry. I frowned at the errant, unwelcome thought. And yet, though I didn’t like noticing her appearance, I did. I had to force myself to focus on her words and not the way her tawny eyes shimmered with the heat of her rage. I nodded. “I can understand how ye would feel that way, given what ye have endured.”

She pointed my dagger at me. “Ye do nae have any notion what I’ve endured.”

I thought of Buchanan hitting her and how he’d intended to abuse her. “I’ve a small one, but ye’re correct, only ye know the dark details.” She gave a little shudder that stirred my protective nature. I wanted to kill Buchanan all over again, and I wouldn’t lose any sleep at all if it had been me to kill her other husbands as well, but the gods had seen to that themselves.

“I would throw this at ye without remorse,” she said, waving the dagger as she kept it pointed in my direction.

“But ye are a poor aim?” I guessed.

She made a derisive noise at that. “Why do ye think that? Because I am a woman?”

“Nay. Women can learn to throw daggers, if taught. My own sister is better than most of my warriors with the dagger. ”

Her eyes widened at that news, and her lips parted with her obvious surprise. “Did she learn in secret?”

I shook my head. “Nay, I taught her.” She gave me a dubious look that made me want to laugh. When was the last time I’d felt like laughing? I cast my mind back but could not recall. “So why do ye nae throw the dagger at me?”

“Because I do nae ken how,” she said, looking at once irritated about that fact and embarrassed. The lass was a strange combination of strength—she had to possess it to have endured what she had—and fragility, to be so easily embarrassed about things.

“I could teach ye,” I offered surprising myself and clearly her.

Her eyes grew rounder, and she gawked at me, but then her eyes narrowed. “I’ll nae be here long enough for ye to teach me. I ken ye wish to wed me to use my visions.”

“I do nae wish to wed ye,” I said truthfully.

She burst out laughing at that, then slapped a hand across her mouth, as a horrified look came to her face. She was an interesting surprise, but it did not matter. This would be a marriage of necessity. Slowly, she peeled her fingers back from her mouth. “I do nae want ye to think I laughed because I believe all men want to wed me for me.” A frown suddenly puckered between her brows. “Or really any man,” she said. “Men are users.”

I was about to contradict it, but I did not currently have the right to do so. I had not been a user. Now, necessity dictated that I must be. “I imagine there are many men who would wed ye if ye did nae have this gift.”

She gave me a black layered look. “’Tis a curse, nae a gift. And if ye do nae wish to wed me, why are ye?”

I inhaled a long breath to order my thoughts and choose the right words. I did not want a wife, but I would have one. So I would be honest and do my best not to hurt her. I’d be respectful and ensure my clan treated her with respect. And I’d protect her, house her, and feed her. She could even keep her sister with her, if she wished. “I need peace,” I said.

“Ye expect me to believe that?”

I shook my head. “Nay. I do nae expect ye’ll believe much of anything I say for a good long while. But that does nae make my words less true. I entered the original alliance to gain peace with yer clan.”

She snorted then said, “Lies.”

If she didn’t look so fragile and frightened in the giant bed with the covers pulled up to her chin, I would have stalked to her and given her a much-needed shake. Instead, I counted slowly to ten in my head. I could argue with her—pointless—or ignore her outburst. I chose the latter. “When yer brother or da or both broke it, and I stormed Eilean Donnan, I lost many men.”

She opened her mouth no doubt to say something cutting, but she closed it, pressed her lips together, and finally said, “I’m sorry for yer loss of men for yer dishonorable decision to break the treaty.”

I don’t know why her combining her sympathy offer with a poke at my character amused me, but it did, and I stood struggling not to smile for a long moment before I finally gained control and attained the proper scowl. “My clan, my da, only ever wanted a simple thing.”

Her eyebrows arched, and her expression turned wry. “I suppose ye are going to tell me whether I wish it or nae.”

The lass was cheeky. A trait I happened to admire. It showed she had a strong backbone. “We desired, we still do, the assurance that the channel would nae be used to control our clan, to make us weaker, or beholden to whoever occupied Eilean Donnan. Yer da would nae ever give the assurance, thus the war began.”

“That is nae how I heard the war started,” she said, her tone unbending.

I understood. I felt just as unbending. “Well, ’tis the truth. When the king ordered the alliance, I was glad of it. Having lost so many I—” I could no longer say the word. It was a casualty of losing Magy. “I entered us into the alliance in all good faith. The alliance is over, but I would have peace over war. Over death.”

Another snort was volleyed at me. “And yet ye have kidnapped me.”

I had to resist the urge to bellow. With another long breath, I said, “I offered yer da a new alliance.”

“What?” She frowned and shook her head as if she did not believe me. I understood. That was likely easier to accept than the truth that her father had failed her. “When?”

“During Samhain. I told ye.”

“Ah, when ye entered our stronghold pretending to be an envoy.”

She gave me a challenging look. I suspected she was trying to bait me to argue. She was angry and wanted a fight. I needed to avoid that. “Well, aye,” I answered honestly. “He rejected it.”

“Of course he did!” she said. “He can nae trust ye.”

“That’s simply nae true, lass. ’Tis I that should nae trust him. Yet still, I have sent a raven with another offer of an alliance and informed him that I have yer sister and ye and that I will wed ye to seal the alliance. There should nae be any reason for him to keep attacking this stronghold. It would endanger ye and yer sister.”

“He will attack still because he can nae trust that ye will nae try to control the channel of passage, given ye already broke the treaty once.”

Her blind refusal to see the truth stirred my temper. “’Tis funny,” I said, “that ye place so much faith in a man who made alliances with the men who took ye!”

She bit her lip and turned a vivid scarlet. I hated that my words had humiliated her. “He had to, to protect the clan,” she said looking down, her voice barely above a whisper now.

I stared at the top of her lovely red head. I did not want us to be enemies, but I feared it inevitable. I had not understood something that was now suddenly clear. If she admitted her da had not protected her as a loving da should, had not fought her enemies for her, then she had to accept the truth that she was not one of the most important things to him. That he would sacrifice her for power.

She picked at what, I did not know. I saw no tear in the coverlet. No thread loosened. I suspected she plucked at something imaginary to avoid looking at me. I didn’t contradict her. That would be futile. And I did not tell her that I’d never put the needs of the clan above my sister or brother. If they were in danger or taken, I would give all, right down to my life, for their safe return. I did not utter this truth because that, well, that would be cruel, like plunging a dagger in her chest and twisting it.

I cleared my throat, hoping she would look up, and it took a moment, but she finally did. “We will wed, and if yer da will nae make a new alliance with me, then I will destroy him.”

“Ye can nae force me,” she bellowed, “I do nae have perfect control over the visions. I can nae bring them on command.”

“And yet they come,” I countered, feeling smugly triumphant. “Ye have had visions that saved men who were cruel to ye, so I will trust that ye will have visions to aid me.”

“Are ye nae fearful,” she asked, giving me a menacing look, “that ye will die? All my other husbands have?”

“I will heed yer visions. I gather they did nae.”

“Maybe I’ll lead ye wrong!” she spat.

Something in the way she looked quickly down as if to hide a truth made me certain of a fact I had not even considered. “Ye can nae lie about yer visions.”

Her widened gaze collided with mine.

“I will nae wed ye!” she bellowed. “I hate ye!” She scrambled out from under the covers to her knees. Her hair was a halo of fiery disarray around her heart shaped face to contrast her pale pure skin. The night clothes Katherine had put her in were too sheer on top. The hard peaks of Freya’s firm high breasts pushed against the material of the night rail. I hardened all over, struck dumb by the instant shaft of lust this lass caused within me. Not once since Magy died had I been moved to lust by a woman.

I’d had them strip their clothes and appear in my bed uninvited. I’d had them “accidentally” be naked in the loch when I went to wash myself, and I’d even had a lass press her ample chest to my face and refuse to remove it until I gave her a pet.

I’d felt only sadness and loss. I’d assumed the desires that made a man want a woman had died with Magy and my love for her. I’d not minded. I still didn’t. What I minded was this new hunger for a woman I had no intention of ever taking to my bed other than to consummate our marriage. I bent down, picked up the dagger, and sheathed it once more. “Ye will wed me,” I said, allowing no trace of compromise in my tone, so she would release the hope. It would be easier for us both that way .

“Will ye threaten to kill my sister as the others did?” she spat at me.

I already knew they’d used the little lass, Vanora. She’d told me as much at supper. She was a chatty bit and reminded me of how Katherine had been before life had hardened her with pain, loss, and the basic need to survive.

“Nay,” I said. The next part would enrage her, I knew, but it had to be done. “If ye will nae wed me, I will wed yer sister to my brother and offer the alliance that way. But until ye aid me with visions, ye’ll remain imprisoned.”

She turned white as snow then red as blood, a tempest in the making. “Ye would nae dare.”

I would not, but she did not know that, and the little lass Vanora had been the one to give me the idea. She’d overheard Katherine and me speaking at supper, and she’d said, looking longingly at Connor, “If Freya will nae wed ye, I’d be happy to wed Connor.” Connor had spit out his wine, and who could blame him? Vanora was not yet a woman at thirteen summers, though I knew well there would be many men who would argue that. And setting that aside, Connor seemed to be giving it his best effort to tumble in the hay with every lass who batted her eyelashes at him. Katherine said he was searching for something. I didn’t know about that, but I did know, he did not need to wed until he could keep his cock in his braies.

“I will dare,” I lied through my teeth, because that’s what I had to do to get what I needed to protect my home, my family, my clan. I was already bending my honor, but by the gods, I would not break it. There were lines I would not cross, but I would find a way over them with grit and determination.

“Ye are a horrible man!” she screamed and then before I knew what was happening, a wine goblet came flying my way. She missed again, and by her bellow, it enraged her. She scrambled to her feet, grabbing up a pitcher to throw it at me, a comb, a shoe, and a glass bottle that likely had contained a tincture Katherine had created. The objects flew toward me, never making it, hitting the floor in thuds and crashes. Shards flew and pottery broke off, and Freya raged. “I despise ye!” she bellowed with each object she threw. “I will kill ye!” she said, shaking her fists at me, before crumpling to the bed.

I knew her acceptance of her situation before she voiced it. One word. “When?” Small. Defeated. Yet there was a trace of defiance that underlay the word. I should not want her to keep the defiance, but I found, I did. I did not want to defeat her spirit. It gave me no pleasure.

“Tomorrow evening,” I said, thinking to be generous. Thinking to give her time to fully accept things. “I will teach ye how to throw the dagger,” I offered. I would prefer her to be able to defend herself, though never again would I leave a woman of mine without my protection. Of mine. I frowned fiercely. She would be mine. I would have to find a way for us to get along, bound in marriage by necessity.

“Excellent,” she said, glaring at me. “As soon as I’ve mastered it, I’ll kill ye.”

I turned toward the door, so she wouldn’t see my reaction. My lips had pulled up into a smile that I could not stop. I was amused that she wanted to kill me. I’d lost my senses.